Wednesday, October 27, 2004

A Standup Sort of Person

Just a few minutes before I need to head off to work. It's cold now. Hot the last time I wrote and we were very worried about fires and now, it's cold. Had a pretty intense rain storm over the weekend, but it didn't last that long.

Am reading Nicholas Spark's now, "The Rescue" I just finished another by him, "Nights in Rodanthe". Very good writer. I enjoy his stories. I purchased Barbara Moss' "Fierce" over the weekend and will read it soon.

Dennis and Eric's book will soon be out. We hope. He got an advance copy and has been showing it around. "East Bay - Then and Now"

One of the things I don't spend a whole lot of time talking about is spiritual stuff. I realize that I'm "in touch" all the time and when I say in exasperation, "Jesus" and he says or somebody says, "Yeeeessss?" it always serves to jerk me away or part way away from my fuss. But, there is a sense of a better way to be...a better way to strive towards that is always a part of my day. I'll be at work and be bombarded with telephone right after the other and some of them, most of them with some of the most inane requests you'd ever hope to hear. I'll get off of the phone thinking, "Why?" Well, there's a lot more to that questions...but, we'll leave it at "Why?" for the moment. It's like I feel that I'm supposed to be "in touch" I'm supposed to act right. I'm supposed to be spiritual. Because I'm a channel. Because I've got a website that serves as a platform for the Guides to talk about stuff. Because there are people who are really touched by what is said. Because this stuff can change lives for the better, like my own was changed. So, I should be a standup sort of person and act right. Except, I don't always feel like I do. I'm human, I suppose, with all those associated failings and frailties and the Guides, I feel, are very understanding of what a poop I can be. Especially, moving rather quickly now, towards menopause. Ahem, if we might interject? Sure. Mean, Dear. You've left out mean. Thank you. You're quite welcome.

Yes, okay. That, too. Anyway, I need to go be mean at work now. Ta.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Flailing About

We had a really hot and, at times, windy day yesterday...reminiscent of the fire storm in the Oakland hills back in 1991. Yesterday as the work day wound down for us and I went outside to mail our mail it seemed everything was hazy. I kept thinking my glasses were dirty or maybe the construction guys had raised a dust storm...except there wasn't any construction going on right then. When I got back to the office Janice told me that the smoke from fires out aways was fanning in on us. It was worrisome. A 29,500-acre wildfire in Napa and Yolo counties is what is being said in the news. It was so hot that Dennis and I dispensed with our feather bed and just used sheets. Except, I don't sleep comfortable much anymore and I especially didn't sleep comfortable last night. Fluffy insists on lying at the foot of the bed and she is one rather large cat. Also, one of my pillows went missing. Maybe Dennis has it. Then, I had to keep going to the, finally I just stayed up.

Rambling. I'm reading Barbara Robinette Moss' book, "Change me into Zeus' Daughter" right now. It'll be the second time for me. The first time was one of those watershed moments when you read something that brings a whole lot of trauma up for you. I wrote her then, though I can't seem to find the letter anymore. But, I remember telling her it was a wonderful book. Anyway, a week or so ago I got a little note from her saying her new book, "Fierce" was out and if I was interested in reading it she'd also be interested in what I thought. So, I've checked out and am reading the first book now. The library doesn't have the 2nd one yet, so I'll probably buy it. Pretty amazing lady.

I had a thought that this blog should be the back story of the channeling that I do and I should reserve more private musings for other journals. Or, we could actually do some channeling her....moreso than I've done to date. But, for some reason right now either the guides aren't leaping into the void...or are content to watch me flail about. Somebody just said, "The flailing about part is fine." I'm not feeling all that well right now. I've got a doctor's appointment early next month. My sense is my diabetes or the high blood pressure or something isn't quite right. Yesterday, while I did some shopping at Albertson's I got dizzy a couple of times. It was unsettling. Also, at work, all day yesterday I was terribly uncomfortable. The day just seemed to drag on forever. I'd just finished reading the first in a series of books yesterday called, "At Home in Mitford" by Jan Karon. I'm in love again. Anyway, I've ordered up the 2nd book in the series and have included her, along with Barbara R. Moss, in my list of recommended writers. Anyway, the Episcopalian priest in the story is diabetic and isn't paying enough attention (remind you of someone?) to taking care of himself. And, the next day I get dizzy? And, if you figure that everything you run into is an opportunity for you to learn something I had a sense in that book of rubbing elbows with folks who consider a spiritual life to be important. It was refreshing. I mean, here I am with the guides all day who are some of the most spiritual people I can think of and me. Who grouses around...hollers at grouchy...can't talk to people right...I'm one of the least spiritual people around...and, I'm relaying on what these really spiritual teachers have to say? Something wrong with this picture. The sense, though, that I got from the book was it's okay to try. There's something rearing up from childhood here. And, it's hard to look at. But, it was almost like the characters in Jan Karon's books (who aren't real) reach out in such a way to be real and interesting enough to deliver a good lesson. So, I should be open to it? Yes. If we might say something, Dear? Please...I'm floundering here. We noticed. This blog, as it is referred to, is essentially a journal of sorts. And, technically a journal might be considered a place to flail about getting your thoughts in order to move out and conduct your life in a planned and orderly fashion. In that sense you are fulfilling the idea of blog. But, as a back story to your channeling experience it leaves something to be desired, for who would, in their right mind, be interested to read the musings of somebody flailing about in the dark hours before dawn? We would recommend to you that you be open to the idea of keeping two journals. One with your more than private musings and another with those you will consider to be your backstory. We do not, in the least, mind bouncing about between notebooks, as it were.

Okay, that sounds good to me. Thanks.

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Mitzie as a Baby

Mitzie - At 3 months old in September, 1988 Posted by Hello

Plans for the Weekend and Talking To Mom

It's interesting to see how differently I feel when I've got some direction as opposed to when I don't. At the beginning of the week I had no plans for what to do. I just sort of drifted and I really didn't feel very good. Not physically. Just bummed out. Then, it began to snow ball and it began as I got a notice from the library that books I'd put on reserve were ready to pick up. Good ones too. The Mitford Series and I've started at the beginning. A really homey set of books I can't seem to put down. But, the interesting thing about it is that as I got interested in this book I also got re-interested in life again. ... So, the moral? I suppose you could say when you're bored, read something to perk you up again.'s a minute away to 2:22 am. Earlier, I'd awakened thinking...there now, it's 2:22 am. Anyway, I'd awakened and thought to myself it might be time to get up, but the guides told me I still needed to sleep some. And, I did. A little. Got up again in earnest saying that I could take a nap later on if I got too tired...or, if I'm done before morning, just go back to bed. It's just exciting to have the weekend to do stuff. And, I suppose I ought to make a list. At least I don't have to iron 18 different garments like what happened last weekend.

Anyway, plans for the weekend include organizing the study. It began last week when Dennis corralled everything on the floor and sort of bulldozed it over to the edges. I walked in and it was wonderful. I swept everything off of the surface of the desk to the floor and got to work. Not on the piles, but with other things that were far more interesting. I need to keep up with that. It doesn't take long for it to get out of hand. Same trouble at the office too. For hire: Slobby secretary....Anyway, I'm going to switch over to my journal and see what's what there.

Oh, I did find that picture of Mitzie Thayer had sent up when she was 3 months old in September, 1988.... Sheesh, that was difficult figuring out how to get Mitzie's picture up. With practice, I suppose. Anyway, she's a dear cat and about 16 years old. No wonder she sleeps all day. I'm glad to see that she's decided to come out and sort of be with the family. She's been out on the patio for a few weeks now. Albertson's was having a sale on the softest $3.99 each. I told Dennis about it when he said he was going to go over to get the makings for Rocky Road Ice Cream which I prepared yesterday evening. We'll make our first batch of ice cream some time today in the new Cuisinart Ice Cream Maker. Anyway, Mitzie got a new blanket too. It's beginning to get nippy at night and I'm sure she appreciates the blanket. Am looking for her to start thinking about moving back inside soon. But, she's happy where she is for the moment. When she decides to move back into the house I'm sure there will be some discussion about who can walk near her and look at her and things along those lines. I'm afraid she can't see as good as she used to. It's tough watching our kitties get old.

In any case, I'm glad for the weekend. I hope to get started on a new section for the website. I am beginning to think of it a little differently these days. Rather than a finished product, more as a dynamic book. That makes me feel a little better having not devoted myself to a "Book" project the last few years. Now, to make it profitable? With time, Dear, with time. Thanks. You're welcome. Do you want to talk? It would appear that is what we are doing. Yes. Well? I don't know what to say. Camera shy are you? Well, yes. Remember you want to locate the work you did back in the old days as you sometimes refer to your earlier attempts at channeling. Also, you'd mentioned something about putting a Ouija Board on the web as a pdf file. Of course, Milton Bradley won't appreciate you stealing their name, so you might refer to it as something else. Talking Board won't work either as the name is taken. Thanks. You are welcome. And, our blessings. Do you know who this is? Is it Seth? No, Dear. It's your mother. Hi Mom. Hi, Pauline. You still can't handle it can you? No. I miss you. I know you do. But, think of how you can talk to me now? Remember when we would talk on the telephone so often? And, how we laughed? Just think of it like that. Yeah. I love you. I love you too. You're going to be tired later on. Yes, I know. Be careful if you drive. I will. I wonder if I don't mess this all up. Well, you do at times, but I wouldn't worry about it. Are you going to send a copy of your psychic reading to your sister? Yes, thanks for reminding me. You're welcome. Mom, I think maybe I'm going to be losing some weight. Yes, maybe this time you will. Did you want to ask me something about it? No, I'm okay. It just feels like this time I can do a little better at it. Yes, I'm sure you will. Just don't eat so much of your ice cream. Well, it doesn't get a whole gallon made at a time. It'll be fun to try out different flavors. But, I see what you mean. For somebody who's trying to lose weight fiddeling around with an ice cream maker sort of is not the best thing to do. Hey, you've got to eat. Well, it doesn't have to be ice cream. Thanks, Mom. I feel better. Yes, I do too.

Okay...I'm signing off for now. That was nice. I'm all teary. Mom's been gone 10 years, now.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

More Plans for the Weekend

Just minutes away from needing to go to work. I'm gearing up for the weekend. It's just always too short. Though, if I get some of the laundry done during the week it doesn't feel like I do chores all day long. I'm ready to start some new material for TalkingToSpirit. It might be work I'd done before in regard to folks learning how to channel. In which case I'm going to need to scan it into the computer. I did it so long ago it's just not available anymore in a computerized form...I think. I'll have to go poking around. So, there's that.

Also, Thayer pointed out I need a page explaining about what folks would get if they bought a reading from me. Most of what there is now is the stupid disclaimer and after reading that nobody seems to be interested. More of what they don't get than what they do. So, I need to think about it again. It is evolving. I'm still not all that keen on doing readings for people. I'd hate to steer somebody in the wrong direction and more than that I'd hate for them to be disappointed. Something I need to work on I guess.

Anyway, gas has gone up 21¢ since the beginning of September and it doesn't look like it's going to be slowing down anytime too soon. I'm off to do a marketing survey before I grab the trash at work...haul it over to Lakeshore and then get back to the office before 8:30.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

FireBalls of Thought

Well, the back story just don't quit. You've got this face that you show the world with your makeup on and every hair in place. That's TalkingToSpirit But, I know I'd always been interested in how a writer writes. In the back story. That's here. Just what exactly do I say to the guides all day long? What is recorded at TalkingToSpirit is the creme de la creme. I want to hear what goes on while the channel is eating breakfast.

You know, that isn't a bad idea. What, eating breakfast? No, what's it like when we talk back and forth. Well, you realize that people will get confused. There is no differentiation between what we are saying and what you are saying. How about if I change the color of the fonts later on before I sign off? That would be fine. So, you just finished a reading. A free one again. Does it bother you not to get paid? No. Why? You spent time doing it. Is you time worth nothing? Well, people need to figure out if they are spending their money wisely and she might not feel that me telling her...or, you guys telling her to do her own work is something she should pay for. You are correct in that assessment. However, you have, in a sense disappointed her. Well, I didn't want to make something up that wasn't true. Why not? People do it all the time. What kind of discussion are we having here? One of interest I would think. All right. I wish I had a cigararette. Yes, we know. So, we would ask you why you want one at this point in time? I need a break. Well, then, take one please.

I have to say that fiddeling with changing the fonts and colors when we switch back and forth talking is sort of wierd. You will become accustomed to it once you have decided what you want. There are shortcuts you might utilitze. Yes.

What should we do today? What would you like to do? Well, there's still this mess on the floor...the stuff I swept off of the desk yesterday when I wanted to have the space to tape that picture together. Yes. And, I'd really like to get a system started for remembering who and when sponsorships were purchased for the
HelpSelf directory. That's something you've been wanting for do for some time now. Is there a reason why you have not done it? shit. Nice talk from the channel. No, I don't know why. Could we point out to you that this may have become an obstical for you? Yes, I see that it has. Could we point out to you that whatever system you decide on need not be a perfect one. Yes, thanks. You are quite welcome.

Okay, I see what you mean with the shortcuts. Yes, so you are finding out. I just need to get used to it. Yes. This is wierd. Yes, but you will become accustomed to reaching for the control key and the "B" in time. If anything you are a good typist. Flattery. I always warn against it. No, you don't. Well, I think about it. Yes, so you do. What about flattery and the guides doesn't set right with you? Just that I think it's me doing it. How can what you do influence what we say? You ask that of me? Dear, you are the one who wanted to do that back story. This is merely ancient history repeated for the benefit of those who would learn to channel. Water under the bridge as it were for you, but for someone new to channeling, something of interest and importance. Okay.

So, when a person is new to channeling I always tell them not to believe everything you hear and to lock up the credit cards. The guides will get in there (they did for me, anyway) and get real comfortable and real personal and start urging you to spend money on yourself if you hadn't been doing that before. I'm not sure about this. Why? Because it sounds like you all are terrible and somebody could get the wrong idea about channeling. Continue. Well, it all sort of happens in the beginning stages because I don't think there's a one of you who cares what I wear, what I spend, how I spend it. In that you are wrong. You do care? Certainly we care as it relates to you. You see, it is all about you. People would say, "well, that is a conceited way of looking at things." But, it is true. Personally, you are correct in the sense that money and the spending of it truly does not figure as a primary point of interest to us, but, it does to you. And, in that sense the things that interest you do indeed interest us. There is communication ensuing between us. For a reason. That reason is different for each person. But, generally, it is that you have assumed the status of student and we retain the status of guide and teacher. For us to understand what you are going through and to attempt to guide you we need to understand and speak to you in the same language. So, yes, we are interested when Sears is having a sale.

I know I've messed this up. No, Dear, you have not messed up anything. I'm not going to fiddle with the colors anymore. I think the bold is enough. Yes, and it isn't any great hardship for you to toggle between to two syles? No. Then, you have accomplished something of note for now we are able to converse here pretty much as we do when we are channeling verbally with you any minute of the day. Well, with one exception. And, pray tell, what is that? You're more eloquent here. How so? Channeling via the computer is different than verbal channeling. Verbal channeling is quick. I don't always get or give you the opportunity to do the entire sentence. It's faster. It's like the entire thought....smash! I've got it sort of thing. Sounds painful. Oh, you know what I mean. Yes, I do, but you have not stated it clearly enough for someone who does not channel to understand. Okay, It's like fireballs of thought. Really fast and in their entirety. There is no need to spend the time doing one word after the other. It's not linear. It's not one foot in front of the other. It's a whole book at once. Well, maybe not the whole's like swallowing dinner without chewing it. It's like pictures. And, for what I need from you for assurance that I'm either getting it or not getting it...the "thumbs up" or "thumbs down" I get from you. Just a quick visual signal that I'm on track.