Saturday, June 09, 2007


I’m a real slow learner. I mean slow. It must have taken me 5 years to teach myself how to crochet out of books. I’d snarl up a bunch of yarn, get frustrated with it, tear it all up and put it away for a year. Then, when I felt the urge to crochet again, I’d haul it all out, try to make sense out of the directions and do the same thing over again. It took me years to learn. I still don’t hold the yarn the way other people do. But, it works. I’m real good on scarves, but ask me to shape something or to do a doily and I really need to concentrate. I can do it, but, like I said, I’m not real good at it.

It took me a long time to learn how to channel. I used the book I recommend for anybody who asks me how to learn to channel and that is, “Opening to Channel” by Sanaya Roman and Duane Packer, but I wasn’t all that good with it. I tried, but I remember so many of the exercises I did just fell flat. Nothing happened like it was suggested it was going to happen. Consequently, I sort of assumed I was, once again, being a really lousy student.

Now, I realize that I wasn’t all that bad. There are just a lot of stages involved, more than I realized. Maybe I didn’t read the entire book, and maybe they didn’t talk about them.

It’s not the Texas Two Step. It’s not a connect the dots sort of thing. You don’t learn one stitch and then another stitch and with a third one at your command you can make a scarf with a lacy pattern. And yet, it sometimes felt when I was teaching people how to channel that all I had to do was wave a magic wand and they were channeling. Actually, they were already channeling, they just didn’t know it. Most people are like that. I guess they needed me to believe in them. Maybe. It would have saved a lot of time if I’d had somebody in my life do that for me. But, then, it all happened the way it was supposed to happen. I had to do a lot of inner work. Maybe that healing needed to get done first. I’m getting a head nodding up and down in agreement on that one from one of the guides.

I’m still not sure what it is that I’m “supposed” to be doing with all of this. I do have the feeling that there are several parts to it. I think I’m supposed to be taking some of the uncertainty and fear out of what happens to people after they die. I think more than that I’m supposed to be helping people through their grieving process when they lose people dear to them; that they can still stay in touch without the need of psychics to do it for them. I think I’m supposed to help folks learn how to channel, or at least to come close. And, I guess most of all is to give folks the idea that they can have a real close and personal relationship with Spirit.

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