I had the weirdest dream I’ve ever had in my life. It was a talking turd. I’m not kidding. Right before I awakened this morning in my dream I walked by a toilet that hadn’t been flushed. It wasn’t me, folks. Anyway, the turd to end all turds lay in the water. I flushed the toilet and it wouldn’t go down. I realized why whoever had left it that way had gone. It just wasn’t going to go down. It began to rise up. I mean the turd rose up on its end. Really large now.
I’m thinking that this is really strange. I’m starting to get freaked out. I think to myself if I can break it up maybe it will go down the plumbing. I consider doing a karate chop on this standing on its end turd when it suddenly develops a mouth and begins to speak. And, to sing. I’m totally freaked out. I realize there’s no way I can kill a talking turd with a karate chop. Off somewhere in the room I hear two guys talking on a radio. They’re having a good old time talking about this talking turd. They began to imitate how the turd talked: “Well, pppfffrrrt, whatpppfffrrrt, do you thinkppppfffrrrrrrt. And…I woke up. Now, somebody analyze that one for me please.