I could say there’s just no easy way to get rid of stress in your life. Sometimes it seems that way to me. But, this morning as I sit here thinking about the flare up of digestive woes (sounds so much better than flaming diarrhea) I had over the weekend in response, I think, to being worried that our car, The Green Machine, would not pass the smog test I get the feeling it’s time to do more than celebrate the one event and wait in trepidation for the next one.
So, this has happened before. I’ve got a few more stress-filled events coming up in my life over the next few months. I either need to find a way to get past them easily or figure out a way not to get so stressed about them. I think the later course of action would be the smarter road to follow.
I know it is not bad luck that these things loom in my life. Everybody is in the same boat. Do you see your neighbor falling to pieces over any little thing? My husband has said I worry too much. He’s been saying that for years. Maybe now is the time I can start looking at why I’ve got this Chicken Little view of life.
Could you help me with this?
The sky is actually falling.
Ha. Ha. This is something I’m supposed to do on my own right?
Well, it would be a lesson well learned. How does anything sit better than something you figure out for yourself?
Well, you’ve got a point about that.
We might pose another question for you and that would be more for the benefit of others reading this particular missive and that is: Do you in any way feel betrayed by our not answering your question?
I know there are times when I just really do need to work stuff out for myself. There are lots of things you don’t tell me.
Like when I’m going to die.
Well, yes. Another?
Will I ever be rich?
Will I ever be skinny again? And, don’t say another. I’m getting tired of this.
Shit. Now, look what you did. I’m having a hot flash.
That, Dear, is merely a taste of things to come. Bwwwaaahhhhhhaaahahha.
Very funny. People are probably wondering that you can make noises like that.
Like that Bwwwaaahahahhaa sound. It’s an evil sounding laugh is what it is.
It was Guide humor, Dear. That is all. There was a pointed acknowledgement that there is a Hell and you could very well end up there after all.
Well, you already told me there is only a Hell if you believe in Hell. Mostly, there is only Heaven.
Well, Hell for awhile. A way-station on the way to bliss.
Here’s what you can do. Close your eyes. Sink as you do into the quiet place. This will only take 3 mintues. If that. Sink, Dear. You are safe. You will have plenty of time to finish getting ready for work. This is your time to do some very valuable work toward lessening the effects of stress and what you feel are stress-filled situations in your life.
Are we doing this so others can see?
For a moment.
Sink, Dear. You are the guinea pig.
It is not that hard to move back to a child hood moment. A place where you were worried about something.
I just want to cry.
Yes, well, that’s what you wanted to do then. That was the only thing you could do then.
What do you see?
I don’t understand what they want. I just don’t understand. I will do what they want if they will just tell me. If they are going to be happy with me when I do what they want I will do what they want. There is no other way to do it. I can only do what they want. But, I get mad sometimes because I just don’t understand what they want me to do. If I am quiet maybe they will see what the others are doing. Maybe they won’t even notice me. Maybe I can be so still and quiet that they will think I’m not even here. But, I’m big. I’m bigger than the rest of them. I can’t do this and I can’t do that and yet they get angry at me if I go do something else. I can’t win here. This is a no-win situation. This is like being in jail. This is horrible. I am very sad about it. I wish I was dead. I just wish I was dead.
You have no power in this?
No. But, I can be mean.
You can be mean to your parents?
Oh, no. I love my mommy and daddy. I can be mean to them.
My brothers and my sister. It’s not good, but it’s the best I can do. I just wish sometimes I would get so sick they would be sorry they were ever mad at me.
Hey, I don’t see this going anywhere.
You’ve in the thick of it, Dear. Hold with us just a little while longer. There are some insightful things you’re relating here.
Well, it sounds like I was a very mean and very bad little girl.
Yes, it does sound like that. It is how you look at yourself. And, you became a mean and very bad woman as an adult.
No, I don’t think so. I think I’m just full of stress.
Okay…I’m going back under. This is weird typing it as it is happening to me.
Okay, so I was powerless there. I really could not do anything about the situation, but as a child I figured out a way to cope somehow and that was to be mean to my brothers and sisters.
Dear, were you really mean or were you put into a position of responsibility where you needed to be the big sister and help your mother take care of them? You were the easier solution at times. You were always there. You wanted to please.
I want to throw up.
Well, you don’t do that anymore do you? You are getting close to something here. Keep going.
Oh, crap. All I needed to do was to say, “No!” That’s it? That’s it?
For you, yes. Picture yourself again as that little girl who only wanted to die and picture her standing in front of her parents. Both of them. Stand her on a chair so that she can look them in the eye and let her say, “No!”
Hey, thanks for your help. I feel better.
And, you’ve also demonstrated to anyone who needs to do the same work what it can be like and how relatively simple it is to take care of emotional and psychological wounds. Our blessings.