Lentil Stew

I got creative this morning and invented this recipe. I think it turned out well. What was even more cool was I entered the recipe into my new MasterCook program. It's version 9. I love how it provides all the nutritional info for you. I've had a ball downloading recipe collections from the web. It will be nice to have this for eating on during the week.


* Exported from MasterCook *

Lentil Stew

Serving Size : 15
Preparation Time :45 minutes
Categories :

Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1/2 pound kielbasa -- sliced
1 cup lentils
1 onion -- chopped
3 stalks celery -- chopped
2 carrots -- chopped
1 clove garlic -- minced
1 potato -- diced
5 cups chicken bouillon
1 Tablespoon olive oil

Drizzle olive oil in pot. Saute kiebassa (or other smoked sausage), garlic, onions, celery and carrots for a little bit.

Wash and pick over 1 cup of lentils. Add to pot and pour in boulillion.

Cook, stirring often about 20 minutes. When almost done add in the chopped potato and cook an additional 5 or 10 minutes.

As this sits around any excess liquid will be absorbed.

Description: "A nice lentil stew"
- - - - - - - - - -

Per Serving (excluding unknown items): 120 Calories; 6g Fat (40.9% calories from fat); 6g Protein; 12g Carbohydrate; 5g Dietary Fiber; 10mg Cholesterol; 670mg Sodium. Exchanges: 1/2 Grain(Starch); 1/2 Lean Meat; 1/2 Vegetable; 1 Fat.

Stuck Today

I’ve noticed that folks dedicate a day a week to some sort of subject for their blogging efforts. It occurred to me that I might do the same. I am interested in learning more about the Tarot. What better than to have Tarot Tuesday?

I think I’ve been obsessing lately on my projects, namely my book. I’m going absolutely nowhere with it. All I need to do is learn how to fix the sections. Then, I need to come up with a cover. But, I’m absolutely stuck.

Something else I did today to waste time was to download the new beta version of Internet Explorer 7. Bad move. It started out looking real interesting. It did all that the old one did and I could once again view source. From there it went downhill. It got to the point where I’d start the program and it would shut off. Turns out I’d have to run it without any add-ons, which meant I couldn’t use my Google toolbar or view anything that had Active X running. I uninstalled it and thankfully my older version was still intact as were all my bookmarks. For now if I want to view source I’ll have to use Netscape, which doesn’t thrill me.

Other than that I did absolutely zilch today. Started a load of laundry really early this morning, but went back to bed at 8:00 am. DeeDude put it all in the dryer for me. When I went down at noon to unload it I found it wasn’t all the way dry. I couldn’t even get enthused about running the dryer for another 20 minutes. God, what’s wrong with me? I haul it all upstairs and figure it will be okay to put away. Yeah, right. So, I fired up the oven and loaded it all in there. When I told DeeDude he didn’t believe me. But, it worked. I ironed two of the tee shirts dry and hung the jeans up figuring when we wear them 2 or 3 days from now they’ll be dry by then. Okay, here’s a psychic thingie for you. I just “saw” my mother holding her nose. Thanks Mom!

Colma - The City of the Dead

DeeDude is going to Colma today, otherwise known as The City of the Dead. It’s because they have a lot of cemeteries; 17 of them.

The Civil War guys he hangs out with are having a ceremony there. He said he’d like them to come to his ceremony here at Mountain View Cemetery later on sometime, so he needs to go to their ceremony today.

The guides once said to me, “Your husband likes to talk about the dead and you like to talk to them."

DeeDude

I just realized I don’t have a nickname for my husband.  I just call him Dennis in the blog.  He doesn’t mind.  At least, he doesn’t read the blog, so I suppose what he doesn’t see doesn’t hurt him.  There’s logic there right?  Anyway, I was thinking of a nickname and DeeDude came to mind.  I’ll have to ask him what he thinks…if I should start calling him DeeDude here in the blog….

Okay, I asked him.  DeeDude it is.  He said at first I should just call him D which is what I call him in the house, but I said it wasn’t long enough for the blog.  It needed to be fancier for blog use.

DeeDude  

He does have a nickname for me.  He’s called me The Chief for years.  I like it.  It means I’m the boss and I have the last say in anything going on.  Yeah, right.  But, it’s my nickname.  

We do talk in initials and have done so for years.  It started out by us declaring our undying love for each other in a more or less public place where it wouldn’t really be appropriate to say out loud, “I love you.”  So, we shortened it to ILY.

From there we moved on:

ILYTM is I love you this many (with fingers flicking to indicate many and much love)

What’s the BP for D?   What’s the big plan for dinner?

LO’s – Left Overs
Or
SFY – Shift for Yourself

What’s the BP for the ROD?  What’s the big plan for the rest of the day?
That’s the DSOT.  That’s the dumbest show on tv.
GA – Go Away
LFG – Let’s fu**ing go

I think there are more, but I can’t think of them right off the bat.

Happy Friday.

What was that?

I have to say it.  I don’t bother anymore with blogs that have small print.  I can’t.  My eyes hurt.  My head eventually hurts.  It’s not worth it.  It’s why I make sure my own print is large enough for a 50 year old woman who wears glasses and stares at a computer all day long.  

Here’s a channeling funny.  I was reading through the blogs at Blog Explosion and somebody asked the question, where have you traveled that you would never want to visit again.  I thought of all the places I’ve been and there really isn’t any that was so terrible I wouldn’t return.  Then, came the voice in my head:  “Burbank”.  I laughed and said, “Who is this?”  No answer, but I have my suspicions.

Gotta Go...Gotta Go

I don’t know why I am so sensitive about spelling mistakes, but I am.  In uploading the last post I noticed the word “tomorrow” had been misspelled.  It was live and on the web.  The curtain had been drawn open and there hung the word, “tomorrorw”.  I was horrified.  My heart jumped up into my throat.  I felt all the capillaries that run under my skin contract.  It was brief.  I calmed down and proceeded to fix the mistake.  But, the whole episode got me to thinking about how I cringe when I see spelling errors my own or anybody else’s.  It’s like you’ve got this gnarly piece of spinach stuck to your front tooth.  It’s like you’ve got this booger dried up and hanging off the end of your nose.  And, it’s like you’ve been out in public for hours and you have no idea how long you’ve been walking around like that.

I learned the hard way to let my emails sit in the outbox for 10 seconds before they go out on their own.  I can push them out earlier by hitting the send/receive button a second time, but now I have those few seconds to re-think the matter.  How this came about was when I wrote an email to a customer and I apologized for the inconvenience we had caused him due to an order not being processed in a timely fashion.  I had trouble spelling inconvenience.  I knew it was wrong from the beginning, but I was relying upon my trusty spellchecker to remedy things for me.  

So, I’m done with the letter.  I hit send knowing the spellchecker was going to engage before the door opened and the letter flew.  Ahem.  I wasn’t paying attention.  The trusty spellchecker offered an alternative to my misspelled word and I accepted it.  It was the last word to be checked in the email and the letter was on its way, except, as things turned out I realized too late that the sentence in question now read, “I apologize for your incontinence.”   I clung to the idea that the customer I had written to was Italian and hopefully his English was worse than my choice of words.

Plans for the Day

This is lovely. A day off. Actually, tomorrow too. Granted, I’ve got a doctor’s appointment this afternoon, but before and after, lots to do. I try to jam as much as I possibly can into my days so that I can be as productive as possible. I don’t know why I do that other than the fact that work is tedious, but it does pay the bills. And, the other things that I’m passionately interested in aren’t, at least yet, remuneratively rewarding.

Actually, it’s a good thing that work is boring because I can expend more creative energies on my other interests. Just trying to look on the bright side.

I would like to wind up the newsletter for May today. I’ve got a very tiny column that runs along the side. I’ve been recommending a book or a CD in this column, but for the last few days I’ve been at a loss as to what I could do for the coming month. Because I’m nearing my own self imposed deadline I’d better hurry up and decide on something. It occurred to me just now that I might begin to speak of the stones and crystals I’ve got scattered around here. I could take a picture of one of them and then talk about them. Oh, I’ve got it. My all time favorite: Moldavite. Yes! It’s the stone I used to help me to channel. What better stone to use? Okay, good, that’s decided.

Then, the other thing I want to do is to learn about sections in Word so I can get that squared away with my book.

I also want to record again (for the 4th or 5th time) a guided meditation we did a couple of weeks back. This is something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time to have at Talking To Spirit. The guides said something about 5 of them. This is the first. It’s just an all purpose sort of meditation to relax a person and get their foot in the door with meditating. I had a cold prior to this so the recordings weren’t done in “healthy voice”. Now, I think I sound better. Also, I plunged headlong into the recording and only realized the other day there was a pause button on the tape recorder. That will make all the difference in the world. Anyway, one of the things I wanted to do was to have music playing in the background. Being as how I didn’t feel I could use somebody else’s music I figured I’d need to make my own. So, I spent some time a couple of weekends ago in figuring out how my keyboard works and how to lay tracks. Very interesting stuff!

“The Sopranos”, last night was pretty good. Artie is being a butt, as usually, and Tony, trying to be helpful, pointed out that he was being a butt. It might have finally sunk in. Christopher is being a butt, too. It was great was that Lauren Bacall and Sir Ben Kingsley both made an appearance playing themselves and both said, “fuck”, except, Ben Kingsley said it sort of like, “Faaaawwwk”. Dennis said famous movie stars had been asking to be on, “The Sopranos” for ages, but this is the first time that they’ve ever done it. I figured it was because they are nearing the end of the shows. I think there will be one last season after this one.

I Was Dusting

It doesn’t actually feel as though the front room has been cleaned and yet I just spent the last half an hour washing the shelves, polishing a couple of pieces of silver and removing some dust that may have been where it had lain for years.  I don’t clean much.  Or often.  I didn’t even get to all of the shelves.  These are books and in front of all the books sit the little knick knacks we’ve acquired over time.  Can’t get to the books with the knick knacks in the way, though.  

I removed one book and opened it at random to read a short poem (I didn’t clean the entire time) by Emily Dickinson about a fly.  I hate flies.  I hate spiders.  Bugs of any sort do not amuse me.  And, yet she took the time to write a poem about a fly.  What was even more interesting was that she placed the poem at the moment of death.  Not the fly’s death, but the observer’s death.  I suppose, since she was writing of death that she imagined it to be her own.  

Since I spend a great deal of time talking to dead people it is interesting to me to also imagine the moment of death.  I can’t remember it from other lifetimes, though in past life regressions I’ve seen deaths occur.  My own presumably.  Once a hanging.  Once blown apart on a battlefield.  Once I soared in the sky above the uplifted face of a little boy.  He looked up.  He was running.  And, he called my name.  I was his mother.  And, I’d just died.  I suppose by then since I was flying I might have been an angel?  I don’t know.  More than likely my soul was free of the body and it had nowhere else to go but to soar.  I felt peace.  

But, I was so struck by this poem to imagine how your world narrows at the point of death.  How you are no longer concerned with what was or what is to come, but are nevertheless still diverted slightly by what is happening right in front of your face.  So, what if you were dying, would you want to be hearing as the last things you hear in your lifetime?  What if you were dying would you like to be seeing?  I think I would like to be holding the hand of my husband.  I think I would very much like to hear him say that he loves me.  And, I think I would be looking forward to going home.

Dying by Emily Dickinson

I heard a fly buzz when I died;
The stillness round my form
Was like the stillness in the air
Between the heaves of storm.

The eyes beside had wrung them dry,
And breaths were gathering sure
For that last onset, when the king
Be witnessed in his power.

I willed my keepsakes, signed away
What portion of me I
Could make assignable – and then
There interposed a fly.

With blue, uncertain, stumbling buzz,
Between the light and me;
And then the windows failed, and then
I could not see to see.

Checking In

This morning the creativity I’ve had of late appears to have deserted me. Because it is the weekend and I have the time I feel the need to post something of interest here, except, I can’t think of anything very interesting to say. In the last few days I’ve started posts and then after a few sentences have decided not to continue. The news I was going to talk about was bad, boring or indifferent. The problem is I’ve been having bouts of high blood sugar and I’m not sure what to do about them. I was sick earlier in the month and this, I believe, triggered these higher glucose levels.

It sucks.

The good news is I will be seeing my doctor on Monday. I’ll tell him what’s going on and maybe he will have some suggestions. I know one of the things is to move except my foot has been bothering me for 4 months. So, I move slowly. Anyway, once again this is one of those diseases that I feel I’ve brought upon myself. Where do I get off complaining? Diabetes runs in my family. I snagged it.

Yesterday morning as I dragged myself to work I thought of how crappy I felt. Then, in an attempt to be a little lighthearted I thought, “Does that make me a crappy psychic?”

Back to learning about sections…it goes slowly, my attention span isn’t good. But, I’m determined to get this project moving. I want to see my book for sale! Maybe I’ll set the alarm for 20 minutes. During that period of time I should learn at least something.

1001110

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Learning to Drive

This is like learning how to back up a semi.  I’m trying to figure out my headers in the book.  It involves using sections which I’ve got no experience with.  Arrghhhh.  Welcome back to school.  Right now I’m using this link to learn:  http://www.computorcompanion.com/LPMArticle.asp?ID=246

Stuff I Did Yesterday

I did an experiment yesterday. The goal was to write a couple of articles for inclusion in my monthly newsletter, which I did. The energy and creativity flowed easily and I was pleased with the results. I also posted them here in the blog under the titles, “Smile” and “You Might Not Need a Psychic”. Interestingly, I’d already used the second title in the previous newsletter, but I’m thinking I might have that be a regular piece each month; just something where folks can do their own psychic work.

I created the articles in Word, then, I turned around and began retyping the information directly into my Bravenet newsletter template. I found out a long time ago that if I were to do a cut and paste from Word to the template things just did not translate well and I’d end up with all sorts of symbols sprinkled around the newsletter once it got emailed off to people. It looked terrible, was difficult to read and was a just totally stinky product; not something I was real proud of. So, from then until now I have always retyped everything into the templates, which, is a big waste of time. I tried to quell the frustration by telling myself I type quickly, the pieces are short, so what’s the big deal? But, it’s always sort of nagged at me that it’s not a real efficient process.

Yesterday I signed up for a new Bravenet account and under the new name will do my experimenting with newsletters. I did a cut and paste into the newsletter template from Word and for whatever reason it all worked okay. I have as my subscribers me, myself and I using three different email addresses that I’ve got, one via gmail, one with my home account and one with the Talking To Spirit account. All three of the newsletters were received in good condition. And, on top of that I began to read the helpful tutorials that come with a newbie account and discovered some things with clipart and newsletters I didn’t know were possible. Minor to somebody well versed in html and web stuff, but for me just that tiny bit of information has opened up new doors of creativity. I really enjoy the Bravenet Newsletter service: it’s free, I can have up to 500 subscribers and I can send one newsletter every 24 hours.

I also spent a great deal of time yesterday surfing blogs at BlogExplosion. But, one thing that came to mind was the use of the short blog article. In a rapid surf action I found my attention would skim quickly and having a short piece to read was preferable. I could tell right away if I was going to be interested in it or not. Some people have gotten around that by only posting the first couple of teaser paragraphs to get folks’ attention and then having a link at the end if the person wants to read the rest of the article. Except, with my blogger account I don’t think that is possible.

The other thing to consider is I personally like the longer pieces people write. Also, I find I write longer pieces. The use of pictures to illustrate a blog piece is useful too. But, what I just thought of was to use some sort of graphic curly-cue. So, that’s what I’m going to do with this blog entry, just to see if breaking up the space is easier on the eyes and on the attention span.

You Might Not Need A Psychic

Why do people go to psychics anyway? I wasn’t always a psychic. And, I remember times when I would have loved to go to a psychic. But, it just wasn’t something that nice people did. Go see a psychic.

Except, the idea kept teasing me. I actually did finally break down and get my fortune read with tarot cards one day. My husband and I were in Berkeley. We love to visit the bookstores that line Telegraph Avenue right by the University of California: Moe’s, Cody’s, Shakespeare’s, Half Priced Books and in those days Shambala. It was a summer day, on a weekend and we chanced to come upon 2 different people reading Tarot cards for folks.

They were set up on opposing corners at an intersection, both with a card table and two folding chairs, one for themselves and one for their client. I thought, “Do I dare?” I did. And, plunked down $15 for a reading. The man laid out the cards and said to me, “This isn’t your reading. This is your husband’s reading.” I kept listening. He said, “There is great distress coming. There will be financial hardship.” Okay. I went away puzzled. Some months later my husband broke his back and wasn’t able to work for 2 years. Life, though, was still manageable. We lived on our credit cards in part. His back healed. He eventually even ran in a marathon. He’s in a much better job now, much happier writing and being a real estate editor of a neighborhood paper. He’s a neighborhood activist of sorts.

But, the cards read for me that day were true, though a little ominous. I could have walked away from that reading frightened. But, it did serve to point out to me there are all sorts of ways that you can present bad news. I personally would not do that to a client. I tend to look on the optimistic side and would have presented this dire warning in the form of a life challenge. I might have said, “Life is going to get interesting for you. You’re going to be engaged in a lot of personal growth some of which will be financial in nature. But, in the end it’s all going to work out well.” Of course, you get what you pay for too.

So, if I had spent more money for the reading would it have been presented any differently? Maybe. I don’t know the heart and soul of the person who did my reading that day. I do know that I would not have wanted to spend all day sitting at a card table. But, this was also part of the process of me learning how to be a psychic.

I’ve done psychic readings for people where they really, really want to be told good news. And, I just don’t see the good news they are looking for. What I see is them on a roller coaster and they just don’t want to get off. They have consistently left a series of blasted relationships behind them and they want me to tell them that their new marriage is going to be successful? Define successful, please. Anyway, I told them that life was going to be interesting. And, it was. They aren’t married now, but it was interesting.

I’m not so into doing readings anymore for people. Their disappointment was just too much for me to take. But, that’s not to say that you can’t do your own readings. Buy a pack of Tarot Cards and do readings for yourself. You might find something you can get interested in. You don’t have to be a psychic to read the cards. The psychic insights can develop gradually. But, learn the cards for yourself. It could be a nice summer’s project. I’ve collected a number of resources where you can learn how to read the cards for free at Talking To Spirit.

Smile

The idea that you can make a difference in the world without actually expending much personal effort is a novel thought. We can sit here and think about how noble it is, what a high ideal it is to improve our world. But, then you get to thinking about how all the politicians are in control, how you don’t have time with the 3 jobs you hold, the situation just doesn’t lend itself to you being able or powerful enough to really make a bit of difference.

I want to suggest that with just the tiniest spark you can really make a difference.

Just put a smile on your face. Even if you are down in the dumps force a smile. The muscles in your face are going to protest. You’re in a foul mood, you don’t feel well, the demands you have at work are difficult to deal with, the neighbors are tense. Do it anyway. Smile.

The act of smiling is going to open up the energies in your body. You might start crying, but that’s okay too. Just smile. It’s like you’ve been on this trip on the freeway. There’s only one place to go and that’s straight ahead. You don’t have to think about the road, you’re almost on automatic pilot. That’s you in a bad mood. That’s you unable to contribute or even help yourself. Now, you take an exit and begin traveling a different road. That’s you with a smile on your face. That’s you being less of the victim and more of a person who knows they are in control of their life. That’s you creating your own reality. So what if it feels forced. So what if it feels fakey. You’re going to get used to it. What’s it going to cost to just try it for pity’s sake? Just smile.

And, if it feels really odd to smile right now go into your bathroom and close the door. Stand in front of the mirror and smile now. Look into your eyes and just for a moment in time imagine the heart and soul of you, the star stuff part of you that endures forever. And, think of how that part of you couldn’t exist if it was always in a bad mood. That part of you, the part of you connected to Spirit is always smiling. Try to reconnect just for a moment in time to a happier part of yourself.

The next thing to do with this idea of making a difference in the world is to wait and, to keep smiling. You’re going to find that whatever issues you have shoved into a closet are going to revisit you and wait to be addressed. It’s like when you try to break in a new pair of shoes. They hurt for a little bit until you get the leather all formed well to the shape of your foot. Okay, so you address a few of the issues. And, you’re still smiling. It’s not so forced now. It feels a little bit more natural.

And, while you find yourself in a better mood, while you are now a little bit better balanced psychologically and emotionally because you’ve been tending to your own business you’re also a stronger more vibrant person. And, that’s where you start making a difference in your world, because people will benefit from your good vibrations. They’re going to come into contact with you and walk away with a smile on their face because it is contagious.

It's called right company. And, you can be at the hub of change at the center of your piece of the universe.

Smile.

Going to Work Now

Aiyee, but I’m tired right now. Almost punch drunk is what it feels like. Anyway, I had a hard night sleeping. Finally got up at 2:ish and wrote for a couple of hours. Real cathartic stuff dealing with psychological sludge being dredged up by being on a diet. And, you thought it was just losing weight. Ha. No wonder I don’t lose weight that often. This will be the third and, I hope, last time I have to do this in this lifetime. First time I lost 75 pounds. Second time I lost 50 pounds. Now, I have to lose over 100 pounds. I hope never to have to do this again, she repeats.

Anyway, I don’t feel so hot today. I suppose having been sick for the last 2 weeks hasn’t helped much. In all, I’ve lost 5 pounds, but, the psychological shit coming up because of that loss is truly amazing. I won’t discuss it here because I want you to think better of your neighborhood psychic. Emotionally, I feel better right now. Probably will be a better psychic, we all hope, too…weee, what’s that? You say you’re from Mars?

Ye, gadzooks! That’s Gadzooks. Must be capitalized. Comes from God. Capitalize God. Should also capitalize Gadzooks.
Thanks. And, might I ask who you are?
Polite, isn’t she?
Tired too. And, I’ve got to leave for work in 10 minutes. You’re not really from Mars are you?
No, though I’ve seen it from afar.
I’m sorry, I just can’t get moving for this. I’m shaky right now.
Yes, we understand. We won’t push you….far anyway….hahahahaha.
Oh, funny.
Yes, you laughed.
Yes. Thanks, I needed that.
Give you kiss.
You sound like that bald guy on The Lord of the Rings…
Who, Dear?
The Precious guy…what was his name? The frog like guy. Oh, I can’t think and it’s not coming to me. Gollum.

Muttering

I wish it were Friday. If it was Friday then I wouldn’t feel guilty about starting a blog entry at 9:22 pm. It would be more along the lines of, “Hey, I’m just getting started.” Well, I’m breaking a rule tonight. Figure I can be in bed by 10:00 pm and not be any the worse for wear. Why? you say. It’s because in my old age I just need more sleep. Also, I was sick all last week and I think I’m still throwing off the dregs of it.

But, it occurred to me that I have fun blogging. I enjoy my audience, albeit a small audience. There are some folks who come read what I have to say and whether or not it’s stunningly spoken or stiltingly stuttered, still it’s what I’m saying. And, my voice all these years has been a hesitant one. Not anymore.

When I first considered blogging I’d already had an established website. I’ve been working on Talking To Spirit since 2001, so, it’s been around awhile. But, a website is different than a blog. You can still hide behind something on a website and be the webmaster or webmistress. You can also say, “we” a lot. Then folks think there might actually be a team working on things when, in actuality it’s just me and my invisible friends. I’m a psychic channel, so though they don’t type any they do tend to talk a lot and sometimes I just let them have center stage. But, that aside, I would say things like, “We plan” and “We’ve worked hard”. Well, it was me.

So, I heard about blogging and thought I’d like to try my hand at it. I had no idea what I was getting into. In the beginning I was so afraid that somebody might recognize me. Of course, I’d thought the same thing with my website. What if somebody from my company saw this? Well, all these years have gone by and nobody gives a flying you know what and as far as I can tell not too many people I know, family included, read my website or my blog. So, I’ve become emboldened and feel comfortable writing in my blog.

It’s not scintillating stuff. It’s not a cure for cancer. It’s what I think about. It’s my friends who have interesting things to say too. A group blog. Ha. Well, actually, you guys haven’t had anything to say lately…you wanna talk?

Sure.
Okay. Are you going to start talking?
In a minute. I’m composing myself.
Oh, I can’t see you. It was just sort of quiet.
Did you think I’d gone away?
No. Who are you, by the way?
You don’t know?
I could guess. Seth?
No.
Mom?
No.
Elvis.
Yes.
Ha! Hi.
Hi yourself. How did you guess?
Well, I’m always talking about you.
I don’t know why.
Well, nobody would believe that somebody could go around just talking to Elvis any old time they wanted to.
It’s a good thing your company doesn’t read this blog or you’d be out on your fanny.
Okay….we’ll talk later, then. You want some time this weekend?
Sure.
Okay, it’s a date.
I’ll bring the chips.

It's Sunday, Dear.

Did you ever get something for free, a gift that comes out of the blue?  I got one today.  I thought it was Monday.  I wasn’t looking forward to going to work.  I’d awakened this morning from a “work dream”.   In my dream the disciplinary actions being taken in my company involved laying a piece of wood on people’s foreheads as they sat before the person applying punishment and that person taking a stick of wood and cracking it so hard on the person’s forehead that the stick broke in their hands.  Then, they’d do it again breaking the stick down farther and farther until there wasn’t anything left.  Each time they took a whack at the person’s head they’d have to apply more force to get the job done just because their stick was getting shorter and shorter and it took more force for it to break against the person’s forehead.  That’s what I woke up from.  I think it’s time to either find a new job or to at least find out why I’m not happy there anymore.

Though, if you figure that I’m on a diet and I hate diets and everything “bad” happening now can be directly attributed to me losing weight…well, that’s a thought too.  Maybe I’ll explore that later on today.

Anyway, I spent most of the day yesterday being sick.  I’m still not all the way better.  But, I woke up and thought I was going to have to get up a little earlier than normal so I could wash my hair…and go to work.  

Then, I began to go back over the weekend in my head.  Mostly, I was sick.  But, now I was a little confused about it being Monday.  Dennis was snoring holes in my ear so I tried to wake him up, both to get him to stop snoring and to ask him what day it was. When he wouldn’t wake up I figured it was just as well.  I didn’t figure he’d have been too pleased when all I wanted to know was what day it was.  

I walked down the hallway thinking that it’s 5:00 am.  If it was Monday I was just up a little early.  If it turned out to be Sunday, that would be okay too.  Now, I’m awake wondering what I do to find out what day it is.  I thought of the Sunday paper.  I hadn’t seen it yesterday, though it was possible Dennis might have disposed of the entire thing without me being aware of it.  

I make myself coffee and get our vitamins out.  I’m still wondering what day it is.  I wondered if I called for the time on the telephone if they’d say what day it was.  Then, I thought of picking out POPCORN, the number for time, on the phone and that bugged me.  I can hardly see anyway and trying to pick POPCORN out on the phone when I don’t even know what the crap day it is just did not appeal to me.  

I’d turned on my computer before I’d gone down the hallway.  By the time my coffee was ready I knew I could find out from there what day it was.  I’ve got this calendar program that resides on my desktop.  It’s got a weenie calendar on it and 9 was circled.  Except, it looked to me like the 9 was a Monday.  My heart sank.  Oh, shit.  It was Monday.  Then, again I thought I should be real sure.  I knew if I hovered the mouse over the time in the lower right hand corner of the screen I’d know for certain.  It said, “Sunday, April 9”  

So, Yay…I’ve got an extra day to do the things I want to do.  But, why did it happen?  Am I so stressed out over things that my mind is playing tricks on me?  

Saturday

I’ve spent the last few hours sweeping across Talking To Spirit.  I’ve added text to a few of the pages and in the process have found a few places where links did not work anymore and other places where I added links to improve things.  The largest improvement I made today, I think, was to increase the font size across the entire website.  My own eyes are getting bad.  And, I will not even try to read websites and blogs where the printing is so tiny that I’ve got to lean forward almost squishing my forehead and nose up to the monitor to try to read.  So, I made a large print website today.  Most of it anyway.

I also added a resource page on Dead People the other day.  It just seemed to be appropriate.

I’m still sick, though it isn’t as bad as it was a few days ago.  It’s the stage you get to where you are just climbing out of the ditch and are just getting ready to be well again.  Yikes, it’s been a horrible week.  Working when you are sick has got to be one of the most godawful things anybody has to do.  I hope my company appreciates it.  In any case, now the boss is sick.  My supervisor had it and then I got it and then we gave it to the boss.  

Still Sick

I’m still sick.  I’m not going to discuss anything else.  It’s just too barfy.

Still Sick

Can it be possible?  Can I actually publish to my blog via Word again?  Oh, joy.  

Still sick, though on the up side I’ve lost 4 pounds.  The secret?  Don’t eat after dinner.  Go to bed instead.  Also helpful is the fact that food just doesn’t taste like food right now.  It’s not so bad today.  I’ll put a DayQuil in my pocket to have later on in the morning.  I’m still taking the hoodia, but the jury is out as to whether that is working or not.  I’m losing weight but that could just as easily be attributed to the cold.  So, once the cold is over I’ll be able to tell for certain.

Thinking

Right thinking is sort of like right company. At least, I’m intending it to be the subject of this post and while this was just a thought that I had, it occurred to me that there’s more there than we might think.

Okay, so talking about an overall tenor of who you are and what you are about. Say you are a sex crazed young adult. Everything you see is going to make you think of sex. Or, if you are overweight and obsess about food a lot of the time, most anything that happens to you is going to make you head toward the kitchen in search of whatever is not tied down.

What made me think of this was as I was moving through the Blog Explosion array of blogs to read this morning and I came upon a blog that typically talks about business stuff. The guy had gone to see a kid’s movie with his kids and it clicked with him and he moves forward with a business like blog entry that has its roots in the kid’s movie he just watched. I thought to myself that this guy is so tied into thinking about everything with a slant towards business sorts of things that he can even see something of worth and interest to talk about after he’s watched a little kid’s movie.

That got me to thinking. What about when I am in a bad mood? What about when I’m in a pity me sort of mood? Everything that happens to me and around me is sort of pissy. Nothing excites me, nothing is interesting. People say and do the things that just set me off. Is that their fault or mine?

As opposed to when I am in a creative loop. Like I am right now. Even though I am sick and am whining a bit, still this wonderful little sewing machine is sparking all sorts of creative juices. I’m in the midst of sewing some beads on a tiny little pin cushion just the right size for my very small desk area. I can retire the huge, all purpose pin cushion I’ve been using for years and use this one instead. Additionally, I’ve had these seed beads for over 8 years and have done nothing with them.

I got enthused about beading right before I had my first bad attack of carpel tunnel syndrome. That set me back. I was frantic for a while because even though the bread winning part of my life is as a secretary and I type there I don’t type nearly as much as I do when I am home and have assumed my mantel of channel/writer. That’s what really pushed my buttons. But, 8 years have passed, I no longer have the horrible pain, have my grip back, can hold a pen and can type like the wind (about 50 words a minute, but they think I type faster than that at work). And, the more important thing is now I know how to pace myself when I’m typing. Every once in awhile I get up and walk around to loosen up somewhat. I also know if I get that telltale pain shooting into my fingertips or my wrist starts to hurt even a little bit that I need to stop typing immediately and put ice on then and later on in the evening.

Anyway, for some reason the timing between the carpel tunnel attack and the interest in beading were tied together. I’ve had thoughts over the years since then that I’d love to do something with those beads, but I don’t because I think my hands wouldn’t be able to do it. Why I thought that, I just don’t know. It’s one of those things that I’ve clung to against all sensible thinking. So, today is a momentous day for me. I’m sewing and I’m beading and the combination of those two things have sparked a torrent of creative thinking that’s spilling out into these pages.

So, back to right thinking. Seth has maintained that we create our own reality. I think this is a keystone to it. But, the right thinking is going to trigger all the things to support the reality you want. And, dealing with unconscious fears is necessary to move forward too. Like I thought I couldn’t bead because of my carpel tunnel syndrome. Why didn’t I think that it is being handled? Why didn’t I make the connection that if I can type I can bead? Hello? It’s like there are two me’s. There’s this unconscious me that holds the reins. That unconscious me has ties that go way back to childhood crapolla. Anybody in their right adult mind would look at the child holding the reins and say, “Come on. Get a grip. Things have changed. We’re all grown up here now. Let go. We’re 50 years old now and we want to live the rest of our life with gusto and verve and maybe if we lose some weight in a smaller than a tent sized dress.”

Right. My friend Thayer said going on a diet was going to trigger some shit. I think that is what is happening here. Something to think about.

Sick

I’m flat out sick. Yes, Dear, we are aware of your condition. Why, then, are you not resting? I will later on. I just got up anyway. So, you are not sick enough right now to require bed rest. No. I’m just pokey. Pokey? What is pokey? My throat hurts high up. I can’t see so good. I think my glands are swollen. My boob itches. What else? You are giving an entire list of your condition? Yes. Well, you are going to need to move your bowels in a minute or two. You don’t have to be crude. Well, you were the one who mentioned your boob itching. I know. I think I might be flushed.

I told Dennis unless I’m on my deathbed tomorrow I’m going to have to go to work. He’s going to do the laundry this morning so I don’t have to worry about that. It’s times like this that I wish I had a job I could take time off if I’m sick. I know if it was bad enough that I was in the hospital they’d all just have to go hoot and I’d be out of the picture, but for a normal (oh, I hate being sick) cold I have to drag my butt into work. I think J must have given me her cold. She was sick and dragged her butt into work last week.

I wonder how long a cold germ lasts when it gets stuck to office paperwork?

Sew....

I bought myself a new sewing machine a couple of weeks ago at Sears. It’s a Kenmore Mini Ultra. I always make a point of taking a quick look at the sewing machines when I’m in the store, though it’s been forever since I’ve done any sewing. The main reason I haven’t is because my old machine is pretty heavy and it’s just too much trouble to haul it out of the closet, clear room from my desk and set it up. It just takes up too much room.

So, I see this Mini machine. Hey, it does a straight stitch, a zigzag and a triple stitch zigzag; the three stitches I use the most. It’s also got some blind hemming stitches which I’ve never figured out how to use and a button holer attachment. It was also $99 marked down to $69 and it only took me 3 seconds to say, “It’s mine”. It's lightweight and I'm going to be able to store it on one of the book shelves behind me. So, it will be real easy to get at when I'm in the mood to sew.

I tried it out today for the first time. Right out of the bag it’s perfect because I can actually just leave it sitting in front of me while I use my computer. I couldn’t do that with my other machine because it was too tall. So, I’ve got an even better setup because I could conceivably just leave it out and sew when the notion took me…which, really moves my caboose today because I have never had that luxury.

So, here are some of the dog and cat toys I've been sewing today.