National Novel Writing Month starts tomorrow. The only thing I did to get ready was to clean up my desk a little bit. Not too much. I don’t want anybody to get any ideas. I’m really not sure just how I will begin. I think I will just plunge in and see what happens.
We hadn’t planned on having anything to hand out tonight for Halloween. Last year we got a boat load of candy and nobody came. Likely, we won’t have anyone come tonight either seeing as how Oakland just made national news as the 8th most violent city in the US. On the heels of that announcement yesterday the cops exploded a pipe bomb in Montclair, one of the nicer areas of the city. Nobody was hurt.
Anyway, I started having second thoughts about not having anything to hand out for Halloween. As a kid it was one of the high points of the year. You spent a long time on your costume and got to come home with lots to eat. It was terrific. Even if we turn the lights off folks might make the trek upstairs and that is dangerous in the dark. I asked DeeDude to pick up some peanut butter crackers and we can give those out if anybody comes. If not he and I can still eat them as snacks afterwards.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Oh, My Aching Back
I didn’t do any ironing. DeeDude keeps making references to what a messy place my study is. Three weeks worth of shirts are hanging over the chair behind me. Then, there’s stuff I got shopping yesterday on top. He says, “If my area looked like this I wouldn’t be hearing the end of it.” Meaning I’m a nag on my better days. But, my back has been hurting me for days. Last week I started out thinking I was having a kidney stone. The pain was moving around on my back. Also, I noticed, or I think I noticed that I wasn’t peeing as much. Stone. Couldn’t be anything else. So, I began drinking water like crazy.
I had a stone some time ago and it was pure agony. I don’t want to go through that again. If I even get a hint that something like that is going on I will begin drinking large amounts of water. Actually, I should be drinking 12 glasses of water every day anyway and not wait for the threat of a stone to rise up.
I know when to go to the doctor and it wasn’t time yet. Also, I was feeling better by the end of the week when the nurse finally got in touch with me. I wasn’t in the best of moods when she tried to tell me that my record said I’d not had a stone before. Officially, I’m lying?
I said to the lady, “I was in the most excruciating pain I’ve ever felt. The pain in my back moved from the back to the front. I couldn’t stand up straight and I had to keep pacing while I was waiting to see a doctor. Then, later once I got home, while I drank water like nobody’s business I couldn’t pee. The pain was horrible when the stone passed and afterward I peed like Niagra Falls. And, that’s when there was absolutely no pain.” She said, “It sounds like you had a stone.” But, her voice was doubtful. She told me the urine test they’d performed indicated there was no stone and my record didn’t indicate whether I had an ultra-sound or something else she said that I can’t remember now. I said, “I was in too much pain and I don’t remember what sort of procedure it was.” What I didn’t say was, “Why wasn’t whatever procedure I had noted in my record?”
She said I could come in for a 24 hour pee test. I don’t even want to know what that is. I told her no thanks and I feel better now. Good thing I’ve still got the Tylenol with codeine that they gave me the last time I had a stone. I know what to do and it doesn’t include going to see the doctor if all they are going to do is tell me to drink water. At least not this time.
Anyway, these are the things I’ve learned researching places on the internet about kidney stones.
I had a stone some time ago and it was pure agony. I don’t want to go through that again. If I even get a hint that something like that is going on I will begin drinking large amounts of water. Actually, I should be drinking 12 glasses of water every day anyway and not wait for the threat of a stone to rise up.
I know when to go to the doctor and it wasn’t time yet. Also, I was feeling better by the end of the week when the nurse finally got in touch with me. I wasn’t in the best of moods when she tried to tell me that my record said I’d not had a stone before. Officially, I’m lying?
I said to the lady, “I was in the most excruciating pain I’ve ever felt. The pain in my back moved from the back to the front. I couldn’t stand up straight and I had to keep pacing while I was waiting to see a doctor. Then, later once I got home, while I drank water like nobody’s business I couldn’t pee. The pain was horrible when the stone passed and afterward I peed like Niagra Falls. And, that’s when there was absolutely no pain.” She said, “It sounds like you had a stone.” But, her voice was doubtful. She told me the urine test they’d performed indicated there was no stone and my record didn’t indicate whether I had an ultra-sound or something else she said that I can’t remember now. I said, “I was in too much pain and I don’t remember what sort of procedure it was.” What I didn’t say was, “Why wasn’t whatever procedure I had noted in my record?”
She said I could come in for a 24 hour pee test. I don’t even want to know what that is. I told her no thanks and I feel better now. Good thing I’ve still got the Tylenol with codeine that they gave me the last time I had a stone. I know what to do and it doesn’t include going to see the doctor if all they are going to do is tell me to drink water. At least not this time.
Anyway, these are the things I’ve learned researching places on the internet about kidney stones.
- There are 4 different kinds of stones. Best way to determine which kind you have is to pee through a sieve or cheesecloth. Great. The doctor needs to know what kind of stone you’ve got in order to proscribe a good treatment….like change in your diet or drugs.
- One kind of a stone is calcium, but the 1,000 mg of calcium I take at night shouldn’t contribute to a stone forming. You’ve got to be taking something like 2,500 mg a day of calcium before you should be concerned.
- Once you have a stone the likelihood of you having another is greater.
- Being diabetic I might be prone to kidney stones.
- Drinking half a cup of lemon juice a day will help lots. Mix it with water and sugar-free sweetener to make lemonade.
- Drink 12 glasses of water (lemonade counts too). Soda containing caffeine, coffee and tea do not count toward the water requirement. They act as diuretics.
- If you can’t flush the damned thing(s) with water you will need to visit the doctor. They have different procedures and I have not really investigated them much. I did hear tell of some sort of sonic blasting to break down the stone so you can pass it in smaller pieces.
- But, best not to let the suckers form in the first place. I’m going to go the lemon juice route. I bought a big old bottle yesterday.
Pink
I’m gearing up for writing in November. Not that I don’t write a lot normally, but this is going to be a heavy duty push forward in regard to what I channel. I sometimes can go weeks in between times of formal channeling. Now, I’m committing to at least 15 minutes a day, at least in the beginning. What I’d like to see is half an hour a day. That, at the end of the month, ought to produce a decent body of work. It might not be the 54,000 words required for a “win” at http://www.nanowrimo.org/ but it will satisfy me.
However, one of the things I’d noticed lately that did not work the way I always would like them to are my eyes. Turns out I’ve got outward facing eyes. They don’t focus the way they used to and I have to do exercises every day to strengthen them and, hopefully, straighten them out. I hold a pen, business end up, in front of me at arm’s length. I focus on the tip of the pen and slowly, while I’m looking at it and trying to keep the thing in focus bring it forward. Then, I move it back. That’s all.
But, my eyes, even with the new prisms I’ve got in my lenses still wig out when I’m tired. Everything I’m reading goes double, blurry and the letters just won’t stay still. It drives me nuts. It’s especially irritating at work where I deal with numbers all day long.
So, I’ve fixed my computer so that my “window” is a very light shade of pink rather than white like it normally is. How to do this for anybody with a Windows operating system is from your desktop right click in a clear area. What unfolds is a menu. Go to the bottom of it where it says, “Properties”.
Go to the fourth tab over which is, “Appearance”. From there click on the button at the bottom of that area called, “Advanced”. Then actually click on the area of your sample displayed screen to select that element. For me, to change the color of the paper in Word, I click on the larger window area.
The little drop down now displays the element to change which is: window. White (by default) is the color displayed and where you want to change it is to click on the little drop down arrow next to the displayed color. You get a minor sized collection of colors. Pick one of them if they thrill you….or, go to the word, “more” and have a ball picking out the absolutely best, most perfect, fantastic color and shade (using the slider at the side of the screen) you want. Hey, you could even color coordinate your outfit or your décor if you wanted to.
I remember the first time I found out about this I changed the color of every element I saw. Hours later after I’d screwed it all up I discovered that there were preset themes already there. Eventually, I reset it all to Windows Standard. But, now I need pink. I think it’s easier on my eyes.
However, one of the things I’d noticed lately that did not work the way I always would like them to are my eyes. Turns out I’ve got outward facing eyes. They don’t focus the way they used to and I have to do exercises every day to strengthen them and, hopefully, straighten them out. I hold a pen, business end up, in front of me at arm’s length. I focus on the tip of the pen and slowly, while I’m looking at it and trying to keep the thing in focus bring it forward. Then, I move it back. That’s all.
But, my eyes, even with the new prisms I’ve got in my lenses still wig out when I’m tired. Everything I’m reading goes double, blurry and the letters just won’t stay still. It drives me nuts. It’s especially irritating at work where I deal with numbers all day long.
So, I’ve fixed my computer so that my “window” is a very light shade of pink rather than white like it normally is. How to do this for anybody with a Windows operating system is from your desktop right click in a clear area. What unfolds is a menu. Go to the bottom of it where it says, “Properties”.
Go to the fourth tab over which is, “Appearance”. From there click on the button at the bottom of that area called, “Advanced”. Then actually click on the area of your sample displayed screen to select that element. For me, to change the color of the paper in Word, I click on the larger window area.
The little drop down now displays the element to change which is: window. White (by default) is the color displayed and where you want to change it is to click on the little drop down arrow next to the displayed color. You get a minor sized collection of colors. Pick one of them if they thrill you….or, go to the word, “more” and have a ball picking out the absolutely best, most perfect, fantastic color and shade (using the slider at the side of the screen) you want. Hey, you could even color coordinate your outfit or your décor if you wanted to.
I remember the first time I found out about this I changed the color of every element I saw. Hours later after I’d screwed it all up I discovered that there were preset themes already there. Eventually, I reset it all to Windows Standard. But, now I need pink. I think it’s easier on my eyes.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Writing That Lasts
You know something? It never goes away. What you think, what you say, what you record in your blog will always, always be there. Even if you delete it. Now, if you were to post and delete very close together chances are it is not part of the Akashic Records of the Internet. What leads me to this thought are two things.
I saw somebody post something in their blog the other day to the effect that they had deleted what they considered to be questionable material from their blog. They washed their hands of it and walked away with soul cleansed. I didn’t say anything. If they think it’s gone I wasn’t going to burst their bubble. Right then.
I will now. I’ve had more people do searches and come up with this blog at its old address at blogspot. And, that’s as far as it goes. I can’t get anybody at Blogger to help me out on this because they are all concerned with rolling out the new Beta Blogger. Finally, I just let it go. If they’re supposed to come see me at the new url http://www.thespiritmovedme.com/ then, they will.
The other thing that set me to thinking along these lines was reading a young person’s blog where they were complaining about adults who can’t remember what it was like to be a child. Well, yeah. That’s not so bad. Except, I remember what I used to write in my diary when I was 16 years old and there’s no way in Hell I would ever want that stuff to be read by anybody now. Hey, even back then I used to hide my diary under my mattress so my brothers wouldn’t find it.
I saw somebody post something in their blog the other day to the effect that they had deleted what they considered to be questionable material from their blog. They washed their hands of it and walked away with soul cleansed. I didn’t say anything. If they think it’s gone I wasn’t going to burst their bubble. Right then.
I will now. I’ve had more people do searches and come up with this blog at its old address at blogspot. And, that’s as far as it goes. I can’t get anybody at Blogger to help me out on this because they are all concerned with rolling out the new Beta Blogger. Finally, I just let it go. If they’re supposed to come see me at the new url http://www.thespiritmovedme.com/ then, they will.
The other thing that set me to thinking along these lines was reading a young person’s blog where they were complaining about adults who can’t remember what it was like to be a child. Well, yeah. That’s not so bad. Except, I remember what I used to write in my diary when I was 16 years old and there’s no way in Hell I would ever want that stuff to be read by anybody now. Hey, even back then I used to hide my diary under my mattress so my brothers wouldn’t find it.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Angelic Apple Salad
I wanted an apple. But, not just any apple. See, I’m on a diet and I have these horrible cravings that just don’t stop for Hostess Apple Pies, for Pop Tarts, for Almond Joys. You name it and I’ve been craving it. I made the comment not so long ago that it’s like being an alcoholic. The problem is I just can’t stop eating. Anyway, that’s neither here nor there. What happened next was a guided concoction to keep me happy. And, it’s good. I call it:
Angelic Apple Salad
Cut an apple into chunks. Leave the skin on or not, however you prefer. Sprinkle in a little bit of coconut and a few nuts. Mix 1 teaspoon mayonnaise, 1 scant teaspoon honey and 1 teaspoon of Maruken Rice Vinegar (the kind in the orange bottle) and mix about half of it over the apple. That’s it. What could be simpler?
Work
This was something I channeled this morning:
If you wait for the perfect moment in time to begin a particular task many times the task will never get done. This is where having lists comes in handy. For instance, you have a job and that job requires you to be at work on time, to work 8 hours and to perform specific tasks while you are there. The incentive is that you get a paycheck. An added benefit might be that you feel creatively challenged while you are there, but we understand sometimes that this is not always the case. The major point of this particular treatise upon working habits is to illustrate the importance of the idea that you show up and commit to work.
With a task that does not come under the heading of work, something that you do for no pay or obvious remuneration, the task of creating a body of work is harder. Something substantial in the form of worthwhile channeling in exchange for a numb butt, a sore shoulder and an imminent case of carpel tunnel syndrome is not what we would classify as worthwhile remuneration, however, when the channel is sufficiently greased, not in the sense anymore of having imbibed in several alcoholic drinks as was once the case, but relaxed and willing to channel, some glimmer of hope or help might come through for someone reading the work.
It’s all in how you look at it.
We do not seek to chastise, but to explain the process. If you sit, with your hands upon the keyboard, with your ear phones on effectively blocking out noise and activity from around you, ready to channel, we will certainly oblige. The quality of what you channel is another matter.
It is difficult to shout over the noise of a tremendous storm. However you seek it, plan on solitude, plan on peace, plan on quiet in your mind. Practicing these attitudes on a more than frequent basis in the midst of your ordinary activities will certainly spill over into the times when you sit waiting for channeling to ensue. Our blessings.
If you wait for the perfect moment in time to begin a particular task many times the task will never get done. This is where having lists comes in handy. For instance, you have a job and that job requires you to be at work on time, to work 8 hours and to perform specific tasks while you are there. The incentive is that you get a paycheck. An added benefit might be that you feel creatively challenged while you are there, but we understand sometimes that this is not always the case. The major point of this particular treatise upon working habits is to illustrate the importance of the idea that you show up and commit to work.
With a task that does not come under the heading of work, something that you do for no pay or obvious remuneration, the task of creating a body of work is harder. Something substantial in the form of worthwhile channeling in exchange for a numb butt, a sore shoulder and an imminent case of carpel tunnel syndrome is not what we would classify as worthwhile remuneration, however, when the channel is sufficiently greased, not in the sense anymore of having imbibed in several alcoholic drinks as was once the case, but relaxed and willing to channel, some glimmer of hope or help might come through for someone reading the work.
It’s all in how you look at it.
We do not seek to chastise, but to explain the process. If you sit, with your hands upon the keyboard, with your ear phones on effectively blocking out noise and activity from around you, ready to channel, we will certainly oblige. The quality of what you channel is another matter.
It is difficult to shout over the noise of a tremendous storm. However you seek it, plan on solitude, plan on peace, plan on quiet in your mind. Practicing these attitudes on a more than frequent basis in the midst of your ordinary activities will certainly spill over into the times when you sit waiting for channeling to ensue. Our blessings.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Blogging, Dyeing, Reading
Even though I’ve been blogging for awhile now there are still things I don’t know or haven’t really understood about the blogging scene. It might be because I’m 51 years old. I just learned about BlogMad today. I already surf Blog Explosion and Blog Advance, but BlogMad is new to me. So, I joined up today.
I also bought some henna for my hair. I need to do the special gray advanced version which is to use coffee instead of water and add a couple of teaspoons of vinegar to the whole thing. My trip tomorrow after work will be to purchase some plastic gloves, a paint brush and maybe a heat cap. Depends on what they look like and how expensive they are. Anyway, my gray hair isn’t real interesting yet and until it is I’ll probably be coloring it for awhile. What is irritating is the huge white splotch on the top of my head that from across the street looks exactly like a pigeon hit me…right on top…ugh.
Still working slowly on, “Loving What Is”. So slowly, in fact, that I bought the book. This is going to take awhile. Already, though, I felt a huge shift in how I feel about the twit downstairs. That’s been a heavy, huge pain that I’ve been feeling for awhile now. The guides said he was afraid of my anger. Well, that sort of took me aback. Twit. Anyway, I felt it shift. I still am not talking to him (actually, I haven’t seen him much), but if I could let go of the pain and anger maybe I could concentrate on more fun things. This is the first time since I got mad at him last March that I’ve felt any easing of this situation. Anyway, this is one of those BOOKS that I think can do a whole lot to change the quality of my life. I’m almost looking forward to it.
I also bought some henna for my hair. I need to do the special gray advanced version which is to use coffee instead of water and add a couple of teaspoons of vinegar to the whole thing. My trip tomorrow after work will be to purchase some plastic gloves, a paint brush and maybe a heat cap. Depends on what they look like and how expensive they are. Anyway, my gray hair isn’t real interesting yet and until it is I’ll probably be coloring it for awhile. What is irritating is the huge white splotch on the top of my head that from across the street looks exactly like a pigeon hit me…right on top…ugh.
Still working slowly on, “Loving What Is”. So slowly, in fact, that I bought the book. This is going to take awhile. Already, though, I felt a huge shift in how I feel about the twit downstairs. That’s been a heavy, huge pain that I’ve been feeling for awhile now. The guides said he was afraid of my anger. Well, that sort of took me aback. Twit. Anyway, I felt it shift. I still am not talking to him (actually, I haven’t seen him much), but if I could let go of the pain and anger maybe I could concentrate on more fun things. This is the first time since I got mad at him last March that I’ve felt any easing of this situation. Anyway, this is one of those BOOKS that I think can do a whole lot to change the quality of my life. I’m almost looking forward to it.
Friday, October 20, 2006
DeeDude Celebrity Look Alikes
These are the celebrities with faces closest to my DeeDude's face. Pretty neat! Upload your own photo at www.myheritage.com
Where I Work on a Meditation
This is a useful meditation to use when you are full of anger. We don’t care why you are angry and you need not justify it to anybody. This is just a meditation that you can do when you are angry.
Now, the first thing to do is to read a very short piece, a prayer or supplication of sorts to your Higher Power; God, Goddess or whoever that might be.
Help me to let go of the anger I’ve been feeling. Help me to, once again, reconnect and have a better understanding of me. My anger is masking something else and I don’t know what it is. Help me to understand. Help me to allow the assholes in my life to be the happy assholes they want to be. I can’t change them. Help me to understand that. Help me to stop attracting these people into my life. I swear I’ve learned enough.
I’m sorry…start over? Well, we were going to wait until you were done. Do you really want to let go of your anger? No, I don’t. It makes me happy. We think it makes you sad. You’re crying right now. This is why I’m a mean secretary. Right? Right. This hurts. Yes, I know.
I’m so afraid. I’m 51 years old. I guess I like people when they start being about 27 years old. You don’t like your managers. Well, you have a point there. I was making a pretty long shit list yesterday.
I had a dream last night that we were in terrible financial trouble. DeeDude was afraid. He’s never afraid. When he does get afraid then I know it’s deep doodoo. I was strong in the dream. I told him it would be okay even when I knew it would be hard. We’ve done this before.
I’m just constantly worried. I’m constantly in pain. I’m constantly in a horrible mood. It’s been awhile since I was just happy.
On the plus side, I’m losing weight. Slowly. But, I’m losing weight. At this rate I’ll fit into a normal sized coffin when I die.
You are in a bad mood.
You couldn’t tell?
You know what your mother would say, don’t you? No. She’d take you in her arms and tell you it was okay. She’d just hold you. No matter how old you are you will always be her daughter. And, even though she has passed she will always be your mother.
Should we work on this meditation another time? No, we can continue on with it if you like. I’m sorry. About what? What in the world do you need to be sorry about? Because I’m a shitty channel. I don’t see that you are. I can’t concentrate. Well, be quiet.
When you are in a deep and dark hole and it seems hopeless that you could ever climb out of it, it is important to remember that you can climb. Find or make the hand holds and foot steps that you need. If you cannot imagine yourself climbing out of the hole imagine that you are hewing steps that circle it bringing you ever closer to the surface with each time you go around. As you set your foot a step appears for you to put it.
Part of this is to believe or to pretend that you are where you are supposed to be and if that place is to climb out of a hole of depression, then, fighting it is harder than doing something about it. Granted, there are still issues that you will have the opportunity to address, but we would say that, for now, it is not as bad as you think.
So, imagine that you are climbing out of your hole. Imagine, if you need it, a hand rail that holds you closer to the wall as you circle around and around. Look up occasionally to see the light at the top of the hole. Imagine that as you get nearer to the surface you are hearing sounds from outside. Those are birds. Bird song such as you might hear first thing in the morning before anybody else is up. Birds in the trees outside welcoming the day and calling to each other. You hear this bird song as you come closer to the surface.
Now, you can smell the morning air. It smells different than the night smells. It is the smell of vegetation opening to the sun. It is the smell of freshness. It is the smell of new. It is the smell of a brand new day. Hope. Springs. Eternal.
As you rise above the surface of your hole you see a flat plain before you. There are no houses. There are a few trees. You are quite alone. The grass glistens in the morning light with the dew of the night clinging still. The light silvers it. You set one foot into the grass. You set your other foot there too. You walk away from the hole in the ground. There is a tree nearby and you walk toward it. In the tree is the bird you heard. The bird sings still and is not alarmed by your approach. You do not feel like an intruder. You feel, instead, as if you belong here.
At the base of the tree are some flowers. These are tiny little flowers, just poking up through the earth; crocuses, yellow ones and purple ones. You put your hand out to steady yourself on the tree. You can feel the bark of this tree under your hand. Steady. Solid.
Now, you hear a chittering. Talking. Gopher talk. Prairie dog talk. You look over your shoulder and you see a small prairie dog sitting upright looking at you. He is talking to the birds about you. He is talking to you. You don’t understand what he is saying, but you smile.
And, then you can feel the warmth of the sun as it dapples through the leaves of the tree on you.
There is no need to move. There is no need to hurry.
Thanks. Are we done yet? Do you want us to be done? I’m feeling a lot better now. It is a step.
Now, the first thing to do is to read a very short piece, a prayer or supplication of sorts to your Higher Power; God, Goddess or whoever that might be.
Help me to let go of the anger I’ve been feeling. Help me to, once again, reconnect and have a better understanding of me. My anger is masking something else and I don’t know what it is. Help me to understand. Help me to allow the assholes in my life to be the happy assholes they want to be. I can’t change them. Help me to understand that. Help me to stop attracting these people into my life. I swear I’ve learned enough.
I’m sorry…start over? Well, we were going to wait until you were done. Do you really want to let go of your anger? No, I don’t. It makes me happy. We think it makes you sad. You’re crying right now. This is why I’m a mean secretary. Right? Right. This hurts. Yes, I know.
I’m so afraid. I’m 51 years old. I guess I like people when they start being about 27 years old. You don’t like your managers. Well, you have a point there. I was making a pretty long shit list yesterday.
I had a dream last night that we were in terrible financial trouble. DeeDude was afraid. He’s never afraid. When he does get afraid then I know it’s deep doodoo. I was strong in the dream. I told him it would be okay even when I knew it would be hard. We’ve done this before.
I’m just constantly worried. I’m constantly in pain. I’m constantly in a horrible mood. It’s been awhile since I was just happy.
On the plus side, I’m losing weight. Slowly. But, I’m losing weight. At this rate I’ll fit into a normal sized coffin when I die.
You are in a bad mood.
You couldn’t tell?
You know what your mother would say, don’t you? No. She’d take you in her arms and tell you it was okay. She’d just hold you. No matter how old you are you will always be her daughter. And, even though she has passed she will always be your mother.
Should we work on this meditation another time? No, we can continue on with it if you like. I’m sorry. About what? What in the world do you need to be sorry about? Because I’m a shitty channel. I don’t see that you are. I can’t concentrate. Well, be quiet.
When you are in a deep and dark hole and it seems hopeless that you could ever climb out of it, it is important to remember that you can climb. Find or make the hand holds and foot steps that you need. If you cannot imagine yourself climbing out of the hole imagine that you are hewing steps that circle it bringing you ever closer to the surface with each time you go around. As you set your foot a step appears for you to put it.
Part of this is to believe or to pretend that you are where you are supposed to be and if that place is to climb out of a hole of depression, then, fighting it is harder than doing something about it. Granted, there are still issues that you will have the opportunity to address, but we would say that, for now, it is not as bad as you think.
So, imagine that you are climbing out of your hole. Imagine, if you need it, a hand rail that holds you closer to the wall as you circle around and around. Look up occasionally to see the light at the top of the hole. Imagine that as you get nearer to the surface you are hearing sounds from outside. Those are birds. Bird song such as you might hear first thing in the morning before anybody else is up. Birds in the trees outside welcoming the day and calling to each other. You hear this bird song as you come closer to the surface.
Now, you can smell the morning air. It smells different than the night smells. It is the smell of vegetation opening to the sun. It is the smell of freshness. It is the smell of new. It is the smell of a brand new day. Hope. Springs. Eternal.
As you rise above the surface of your hole you see a flat plain before you. There are no houses. There are a few trees. You are quite alone. The grass glistens in the morning light with the dew of the night clinging still. The light silvers it. You set one foot into the grass. You set your other foot there too. You walk away from the hole in the ground. There is a tree nearby and you walk toward it. In the tree is the bird you heard. The bird sings still and is not alarmed by your approach. You do not feel like an intruder. You feel, instead, as if you belong here.
At the base of the tree are some flowers. These are tiny little flowers, just poking up through the earth; crocuses, yellow ones and purple ones. You put your hand out to steady yourself on the tree. You can feel the bark of this tree under your hand. Steady. Solid.
Now, you hear a chittering. Talking. Gopher talk. Prairie dog talk. You look over your shoulder and you see a small prairie dog sitting upright looking at you. He is talking to the birds about you. He is talking to you. You don’t understand what he is saying, but you smile.
And, then you can feel the warmth of the sun as it dapples through the leaves of the tree on you.
There is no need to move. There is no need to hurry.
Thanks. Are we done yet? Do you want us to be done? I’m feeling a lot better now. It is a step.
Where I Got Ticked Off
Unfortunately, I got pissed off the other day. I keep thinking it’s because I’m reading Byron Katie - Loving What Is
It’s like being on page 200 of The Course in Miracles; you just want to heave the whole thing off of the nearest bridge. But, I gave into temptation and created a new place to vent my anger. I’ve read enough blogs to see that others don’t hold back. Why should I? But, the thought of exhibiting the dark side here was too much. So, I made a new blog. It may or may not last. Meaning that I might feel remorseful sometime in the future and remove it from cyberspace…though the couple of posts I’ve done so far will remain…far into the future…ah…revenge….or, at least a slight feeling of satisfaction.
Anyway, if anybody wants to see me kicking the walls go to The Psychic Vents.
On the flip side (which means there is a positive side to this) I now have the opportunity to try out the new Blogger Beta program with the new blog. It’s interesting, so far. I do like the idea of being able to categorize stuff, but I’m wondering how much flexibility is available to add extra code to a template…like my stat counter. Maybe when I’ve cooled down I’ll look into it.
It’s like being on page 200 of The Course in Miracles; you just want to heave the whole thing off of the nearest bridge. But, I gave into temptation and created a new place to vent my anger. I’ve read enough blogs to see that others don’t hold back. Why should I? But, the thought of exhibiting the dark side here was too much. So, I made a new blog. It may or may not last. Meaning that I might feel remorseful sometime in the future and remove it from cyberspace…though the couple of posts I’ve done so far will remain…far into the future…ah…revenge….or, at least a slight feeling of satisfaction.Anyway, if anybody wants to see me kicking the walls go to The Psychic Vents.
On the flip side (which means there is a positive side to this) I now have the opportunity to try out the new Blogger Beta program with the new blog. It’s interesting, so far. I do like the idea of being able to categorize stuff, but I’m wondering how much flexibility is available to add extra code to a template…like my stat counter. Maybe when I’ve cooled down I’ll look into it.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
The Work
What I would very much like is for all my problems to go away. Nagging, never ending, crippling at times, problems. Just go away. Could you imagine? Anyway, to that end I have just started reading, “Loving What Is” by Byron Katie. She’s the one featured in the video about money a few entries ago…look down below this. She has such a kind way about her that she’s going to common sense you right out of all of your problems. Makes all the bad stuff go right away. You ask yourself 4 questions.
1. Is it true?2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?3. How do you react when you believe that thought?4. Who would you be without the thought?
That’s it. It’s called The Work. I’m still on the first chapter. I’m encouraged. It’s going to be my recommendation of the month for my newsletter once I’m done with it. I can tell. This is a keeper.
1. Is it true?2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?3. How do you react when you believe that thought?4. Who would you be without the thought?
That’s it. It’s called The Work. I’m still on the first chapter. I’m encouraged. It’s going to be my recommendation of the month for my newsletter once I’m done with it. I can tell. This is a keeper.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
National Novel Writing Month Is Upon Us
Okay, so if you figure you get approximately 600 words to a page (on my Word program), writing 3 pages each day will yield 1,800 words. Multiply that by 30 days and you’ve got 54,000 words, enough to snag a win from the National Novel Writing Month organization. The criteria is simple. You sign up. You begin writing your novel (or book) on November 1st and stop writing on November 30th. In between you can call upon the support of an incredible group of writers for support. To qualify for a “win” you need to write 50,000 words. They suggest writing a hundred extra just because of the differences between word counting programs.
I’d heard about NaNoWriMo 2 years ago. I forgot about it last year until it was too late. But, day before yesterday I stumbled upon somebody who was going to participate this year. Me too. And, last night I signed up.
I’m not a schooled writer, other than making my way through high school and a year of college where I partied until I flunked out. But, I love writing. I love reading. The grammar I know is by the seat of my pants, which means I know some of the basic rules, but other than that it is by ear. Mostly, I break a lot of rules. I used to worry about it. Now, I don’t. Not much anyway.
So, as I lay in bed last night thinking about what to write about (always the hardest thing in the world for me to decide upon) my guide Seth suggested that I channel a book. I got this thrill of delight that shot up my spine. I knew from the sensation that was the perfect answer. I’d love to write a novel, but a channeled book would be more appropriate at this time. Right away I thought, “Oh, no. I couldn’t. That’s not writing. That’s channeling.” But, one of the things about channeling is you need the skills of writing to do it. And, though I could sit here and channel it takes a tremendous determination to let go for long enough for the guides to get the material out. Especially when the channel ain’t willing to sit still long enough to get anything productive done.
So, this would be the commitment I make to myself and to them. That I will sit still and channel here at the keyboard for the 3 pages a day during the month of November that it takes to create a work that is 50,000 words long. That’ll be a decent book, I think. And, seeing as how I’ve got another one sitting in the wings waiting to be finished up -- well, that’s just icing on the cake.
The book under the bed that took me 3 years to write on my own is about 175,000 words. I remember how I gauged how long it should be. I picked up a paperback book and said, “That’s the size of book I want to write.” Then, I counted the number of words there were in a sampling of lines in the book and averaged them. Then, I did the same with a number of the pages. That’s how I knew how many words to write.
Then, I did what I’ve since learned is called the snowflake method. My version of it was that I started with the kernel of my story. Then, I wrote a paragraph. Then, I expanded that paragraph. I kept expanding until I had 10 paragraphs. Those became my chapters. And, interestingly enough, they stayed that way throughout the course of writing the book.
So, I see that I’ve come to the end of my page. And, that would be a total of 619 words so far.
What I need to do now is to crank up the olde channeling muscles and start getting used to sitting still for heavy duty channeling again. It won’t be for the book, but just channeling in general which can be either for the blog or for private papers. Just to get me in shape for next month.
As time goes on I might decide to have a different blog just for the book. That might be helpful. I’m getting a “thumb’s up” from the guides, so I’ll mull that over this morning. Also, a title. Need to come up with that too. Could always change it as time goes by, but I’ll want something to call it for now.
I’d heard about NaNoWriMo 2 years ago. I forgot about it last year until it was too late. But, day before yesterday I stumbled upon somebody who was going to participate this year. Me too. And, last night I signed up.
I’m not a schooled writer, other than making my way through high school and a year of college where I partied until I flunked out. But, I love writing. I love reading. The grammar I know is by the seat of my pants, which means I know some of the basic rules, but other than that it is by ear. Mostly, I break a lot of rules. I used to worry about it. Now, I don’t. Not much anyway.
So, as I lay in bed last night thinking about what to write about (always the hardest thing in the world for me to decide upon) my guide Seth suggested that I channel a book. I got this thrill of delight that shot up my spine. I knew from the sensation that was the perfect answer. I’d love to write a novel, but a channeled book would be more appropriate at this time. Right away I thought, “Oh, no. I couldn’t. That’s not writing. That’s channeling.” But, one of the things about channeling is you need the skills of writing to do it. And, though I could sit here and channel it takes a tremendous determination to let go for long enough for the guides to get the material out. Especially when the channel ain’t willing to sit still long enough to get anything productive done.
So, this would be the commitment I make to myself and to them. That I will sit still and channel here at the keyboard for the 3 pages a day during the month of November that it takes to create a work that is 50,000 words long. That’ll be a decent book, I think. And, seeing as how I’ve got another one sitting in the wings waiting to be finished up -- well, that’s just icing on the cake.
The book under the bed that took me 3 years to write on my own is about 175,000 words. I remember how I gauged how long it should be. I picked up a paperback book and said, “That’s the size of book I want to write.” Then, I counted the number of words there were in a sampling of lines in the book and averaged them. Then, I did the same with a number of the pages. That’s how I knew how many words to write.
Then, I did what I’ve since learned is called the snowflake method. My version of it was that I started with the kernel of my story. Then, I wrote a paragraph. Then, I expanded that paragraph. I kept expanding until I had 10 paragraphs. Those became my chapters. And, interestingly enough, they stayed that way throughout the course of writing the book.
So, I see that I’ve come to the end of my page. And, that would be a total of 619 words so far.
What I need to do now is to crank up the olde channeling muscles and start getting used to sitting still for heavy duty channeling again. It won’t be for the book, but just channeling in general which can be either for the blog or for private papers. Just to get me in shape for next month.
As time goes on I might decide to have a different blog just for the book. That might be helpful. I’m getting a “thumb’s up” from the guides, so I’ll mull that over this morning. Also, a title. Need to come up with that too. Could always change it as time goes by, but I’ll want something to call it for now.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Friday the 13th
My level of chicken-ness is pretty high today. There are a number of factors involved here. One is that it is Friday the 13th. That’ll generally stop most folk cold…at least for a little bit. Then, they go, “Okay, how adult are you anyway?” and continue on, albeit cautiously, with whatever they were going to do. However, I’m not even going to pretend today. I’m chicken.
The other thing that is going on is that my biorhythms have hit rock bottom. Totally, definitely, without a doubt, flat-out rock bottom. Presumably, this only happens about twice in a person’s lifetime. Guess what. I’m really going to be chicken today.
Luckily, it is Friday. Generally my mood on Friday’s is pretty good seeing as how I’ve got the next 2 days off and can sleep in, take naps and do whatever I feel like doing over the weekend. I like that.
Good luck to everybody. Though we are not superstitious it still doesn’t hurt to err on the side of caution at times. Don’t open up any strange emails today either.
The other thing that is going on is that my biorhythms have hit rock bottom. Totally, definitely, without a doubt, flat-out rock bottom. Presumably, this only happens about twice in a person’s lifetime. Guess what. I’m really going to be chicken today.
Luckily, it is Friday. Generally my mood on Friday’s is pretty good seeing as how I’ve got the next 2 days off and can sleep in, take naps and do whatever I feel like doing over the weekend. I like that.
Good luck to everybody. Though we are not superstitious it still doesn’t hurt to err on the side of caution at times. Don’t open up any strange emails today either.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Thanks
I wasn’t sure what I wanted to talk about tonight only that I wanted to talk. I decided to surf blogs at Blog Explosion for awhile. I’m back in the saddle again as far as they are concerned and happy I am to be there. This blog was removed for a time. Said I was too commercial. I tried to reapply and got a resounding no and so, I waited awhile. In the meantime I killed (by accident) my blog and then rebuilt it with the lovely purple tulips Caz made. After awhile I reapplied to Blog Explosion and laaa they accepted me.
So, now I surf again.
And, though I was hoping for something along the lines of inspiration to turn into something I could write about it never came.
What did occur to me though was how interesting the internet is for people who don’t get out much. Like me. I feel like I am connected with a great many people. Though I don’t actually get out there and meet and greet people I do read about their everyday doing’s. I can commiserate with somebody who just got home after a really long day at work. I can be frightened for somebody who spent the weekend in an emergency room. I can learn more in a nice gradual fashion about blogs and Google adsense and page ranking and things like that. I can laugh with somebody as they relate the dinner date they went on. It’s just really fascinating to me.
It’s a way to decompress. Thanks.
So, now I surf again.
And, though I was hoping for something along the lines of inspiration to turn into something I could write about it never came.
What did occur to me though was how interesting the internet is for people who don’t get out much. Like me. I feel like I am connected with a great many people. Though I don’t actually get out there and meet and greet people I do read about their everyday doing’s. I can commiserate with somebody who just got home after a really long day at work. I can be frightened for somebody who spent the weekend in an emergency room. I can learn more in a nice gradual fashion about blogs and Google adsense and page ranking and things like that. I can laugh with somebody as they relate the dinner date they went on. It’s just really fascinating to me.
It’s a way to decompress. Thanks.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Nutrition Information
Here’s a really handy website. It’s the USDA Nutrient DataBase. According to the Wellness Letter I get from the University of California at Berkeley it’s the only one like it in the world that is free and kept up to date.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
The Story of Money - Byron Katie
This lady is going to blow you right out of the water. She's just amazing. Thank you to Thayer for telling me about her.
Farting News
Swallow air now….Fart later. Resolution: Don’t eat so fast.
That just popped into my head. I submitted it to The Poop Report, though it might be a tad too short to warrant being considered as a story.
Right now I’ve got a headache. My plans for the weekend have not yet taken off, nor do I see them doing much of anything in the foreseeable hour or so. More likely I will go take a couple of Tylenol and lay down for awhile. Sleep was weird last night. I awakened at 2:30, lay in bed for an hour and finally got up to read my email for awhile and surf a little bit. Then, at 5:30 I went back to bed. That’s probably why I have a headache.
That just popped into my head. I submitted it to The Poop Report, though it might be a tad too short to warrant being considered as a story.
Right now I’ve got a headache. My plans for the weekend have not yet taken off, nor do I see them doing much of anything in the foreseeable hour or so. More likely I will go take a couple of Tylenol and lay down for awhile. Sleep was weird last night. I awakened at 2:30, lay in bed for an hour and finally got up to read my email for awhile and surf a little bit. Then, at 5:30 I went back to bed. That’s probably why I have a headache.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Leave. Now.
I had another psychic hit this afternoon. I wasn’t feeling real well so I went back to bed for a little bit. I was drifting in and out of sleep and I could hear my husband and his friend talking in the living room. Suddenly, my body went into paralyzing body buzz mode. It’s been a hell of a long time since that happened to me. I wasn’t alarmed, merely surprised and interested. I’d actually just been talking to somebody about it in an email yesterday so I thought it was really interesting that I was experiencing it again when it’s been years since it happened to me last.
That’s when it changed. The paralyzing part was the same, but the buzziness aspect of it got more intense than I’ve ever felt it before. Then, I had a falling sensation which is also something I’ve not felt before.
Then, I’m seeing white. Totally white and I realized this was the same scene I saw the other day when I saw the two guys. The white is snow. I’m seeing a tiny little shack. Narrow, like an outhouse. It’s dark wood stark against the white snow. And, I see the tail end of a Ford Explorer driving away. I didn’t recognize the vehicle as a Ford Explorer, I just knew that’s what it was. All I could see of it was the back end and the bumper. It was dark, it might have been black.
Then, I felt the fear. Terrible, terrible fear. Then, I pull back into myself saying, “This is a psychic vision. There’s no reason you should be afraid.” And, I felt myself pulling back, the scene before me getting fainter and farther away. Then, I think about the fear I felt and have an urgency to tell somebody to leave. Leave quickly. Now, I don’t know what is going on and the vision is finished and I’m awake and back in my body.
I’ve never had a vision come to me two days in a row for the same thing.
That’s when it changed. The paralyzing part was the same, but the buzziness aspect of it got more intense than I’ve ever felt it before. Then, I had a falling sensation which is also something I’ve not felt before.
Then, I’m seeing white. Totally white and I realized this was the same scene I saw the other day when I saw the two guys. The white is snow. I’m seeing a tiny little shack. Narrow, like an outhouse. It’s dark wood stark against the white snow. And, I see the tail end of a Ford Explorer driving away. I didn’t recognize the vehicle as a Ford Explorer, I just knew that’s what it was. All I could see of it was the back end and the bumper. It was dark, it might have been black.
Then, I felt the fear. Terrible, terrible fear. Then, I pull back into myself saying, “This is a psychic vision. There’s no reason you should be afraid.” And, I felt myself pulling back, the scene before me getting fainter and farther away. Then, I think about the fear I felt and have an urgency to tell somebody to leave. Leave quickly. Now, I don’t know what is going on and the vision is finished and I’m awake and back in my body.
I’ve never had a vision come to me two days in a row for the same thing.
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