Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Hurricane Katrina

In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina that hit the Gulf Coast of the United States, where people in New Orleans and the surrounding areas, for the people in Mississippi, for the people who have been affected by this storm my heart is breaking as, I’m sure, many people feel the same. What can a person do to help in this situation? People do what they can, what they feel moved to do. My first response would be to give money to the Red Cross. The closer you are to the disaster, the less likely you would be to be reading something like this, but for those people who are farther away, please give money to whatever organization you feel will help them.

As pictures begin to come in of the levees that have broken, of the people waiting in the SuperDome, of the trembling people being rescued, of the debris that is strewn about the streets, of the water that laps the rooftops of houses, I feel so helpless. What can I do as a person but cry for these people?

Giving money seems so much more useful than prayer would be. But, prayer is what I can do too.

Lord, though I know we chart our own destinies, though I know we’re actually more in control than we think we are, there’s an awful lot of people who are suffering right now. Please, please can you give them strength, the strength they might draw from where You are some place deep inside of them that they can see themselves through the next few hours, the next few days, the next few weeks, the months to come where they will once again put their feet upon the road to make their way. They’re going to need an awful lot of help. Please show them which way to turn to find that help. Please put the resources and people in their path they will need to help them to rebuild their lives. Please let them see the light of your love in the people who come to help them. Please help them to let go easily of the pain and shock of what has happened that they can turn quickly toward new and hopefully, better lives. Amen.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Having Fun

You know something that I didn't really expect when I grew up was that I would have fun. When I was a kid and pondered being grown up fun just did not enter into the picture. I don't remember my parents having fun, though maybe I was just so absorbed in my own world that I didn't pay much attention to them. In any case, generally, I am open to the idea of having fun. It could be that the guides who come to talk to me respond and consequently the stuff I channel sometimes is hilarious. I've met a few people who channel and none of them are as irreverent as I am or as I get to be when I'm channeling. St. Paul is even a hoot. Somebody in Spirit just said, "watch out." oops.

Anyway, this morning I'm feeling pretty good. Yesterday was okay, but today is exceptional. Why? Well, it's a pretty morning. It's not too hot and it isn't cold.

I invented something for breakfast. Dennis always cringes when I say that, but it didn't turn out too bad. I grated up a potato with the skin still on and patted it sort of dry on paper towels. I pressed it lightly, or at least I tried to have a light hand, against the sides and across the bottom of a buttered 9 inch by 9 inch pan and tossed it into a an oven that was on it's way to 350° F for about 10 minutes. I didn't really time it. Then, while that was going on I cubed up a really hot Louisiana sausage, one of about 25 we got from Costco last time we went, a yellow squash Dennis brought home from work where some of the employees tend gardens with land donated by his company and a tomato that would have been on its last legs tomorrow. I would have added some onion, but we were out. Anyway, I sauted that up for a little bit. By then the potatoes had gotten a bit dried out and cooked a bit. So, I got the pan out of the oven pushed the potatoes that had lined the bottom up against the sides. Then, I beat up 6 eggs and mixed them into the sausage stuff and poured the whole mess into the potato lined pan. I grated a bit of cheddar cheese across the top and put it back into the oven, though I hiked it up to 400° F and let it go for 11 minutes. It's easier to hit two ones on the microwave than it is to hit a one and then go find the zero. This may go back to the days when I used to drink a lot and was always looking for the easier way out. And, when you get right down to it, what's the difference between 10 minutes and 11 minutes...not much.

That's when I went to go see if he was awake yet. Shelby was sitting on my side of the bed looking like she'd been walking on Dennis, which he confirmed that she had. She started doing that to me about 5:30 this morning. She leaps from my hip to his and back again. It's bad when I lay on my back and she hits my stomach. Not only is it startling, but it's sadistic. If you could look at it from her point of view, we might just be human woopie cushions and she does it just to hear me go wooooohhhf. How entertaining from a cat's point of view.

Anyway, once I got breakfast out of the oven it was actually pretty good. And, even though it had squash in it Dennis said he liked it. I wish I'd remembered to take a picture of it to post here before we got started on it, but the picture of the leftovers isn't too bad. What I'd do if I make this again? I'd use frozen hash browns. The only thing I didn't care for was that the potatoes turned grey. Which, if you eat fast you don't notice so much. But, they were grey and that was not great, so next time frozen hash browns.

Okay...I'm going to go look at my biorhythms. I'll bet they are awesome. Well, not quite awesome, but okay. If you'd like to check out your own use the link from my website...just to humor me. It's down at the bottom of the page. I try each day to see if I can get 100 hits. Lately, it's been more than 100, so traffic is growing. to the races. I need to iron and then help my neighbor Tina finish filling out her application for disability with the Social Security Administration. It's been 2 weekends and about 10 hours so far on the computer. I think, I hope we'll be less than an hour today.

This is the form from hell. If you ever have to fill it out you'll need to go back 15 years prior to when you had to stop working for your work history. You'll need to describe each of those jobs in minute detail. You'll need to figure how much time you spent standing, sitting, walking, bending, crouching, stooping and kneeling each day for each of your jobs. You'll also need to know how much time you used your fingers and your hands. You have to tell them in great detail whatever you did on those jobs that required you to reach, to lift or to carry and then tell them how far you had to carry things and how heavy they were. You'll need to know how much money you made per hour or your salary at the end of each of those jobs. And, that's only the employment end. At least they didn't ask for names of employers, addresses and telephone numbers.

What they did ask for on the medical end of things is the same detail on medical visits. All of your doctors names, their address, their phone numbers. Insurance. Worker's Comp stuff. It was horrible. And, then you had to talk about each one of the medications you'd taken, who prescribed it and what it was for. Like I said, the form from hell. But, you never know if you are going to have to be filling one out for yourself some day and this is an incentive to keep pretty good records for your employment (which I haven't done). Yesterday we were at it for 4 hours straight. I had to stand up and stretch at least 3 times. Her back was going into spasm. I wonder if we could have added that filling out the damn form was causing us to be in pain?

Okay, like I to the races. I've uploaded a picture of Tina, just there to the side. It ended up that it took us about 2 more hours to finish up the form. She laughed when I told her that I'd called it the form from hell on this blog. I took this when we were done and she was going home.

Saturday, August 27, 2005


I don’t know if everybody already knew about this, but yesterday I downloaded a word plug-in from Blogger that will allow me to compose in Word and then upload right from there to this blog. What a wonderful thing! I’m accustomed to composing in Word. I especially love the spell checker that follows me around like a butler with a dustpan. All my misspelled words are underlined in red and anything grammatically incorrect is underlined in green. Also, there are a great many words that automatically rearrange themselves if I spell them wrong right out of the box. All it takes at the end of writing is to go back over the written piece double clicking on suspect words or phrases to get options to correct. This is what I’m used to. What I wasn’t used to was composing in Blogger. Consequently, there were a great number of words that would slip through the net and land ignominiously on the page to look for all the world like I had something stuck to my front tooth. So, this is better.

I kept a journal once when I was a teenager. Actually, my first one had a lock on it. I don’t know where it is anymore. I routinely destroyed them. I just didn’t want anybody to know my secrets. I was a very private person. So, for me to sit here and write for all the world to see is a major step for me to take. I wrote in this blog for some time before I finally began publicizing it a few weeks ago. I’m still feeling ambivalent about it.

But, there are two things I’m rubbing up against here. One is that I, myself, had always been interested in the story behind the person whoever that person was and what they did. Nosy is what some people would call it. But, if I could get inside a person’s head to see what it was like to be psychic I’d do it in a heartbeat. I’ve written on my present website Talking To Spirit for a number of years now. The information that goes there is a snapshot in time. But, it doesn’t do much as far as telling folks what it’s like for me when I channel. And, with my major goal seemingly evolving into that of a teacher, well, that’s a really important aspect of the channeling process. So, this blog might be a means for me to begin doing that.

The other thing has to do with a fear I have of writing. Well, of writing something that could conceivably be considered publishable. With the advent of these blogs and of websites I am self published. So, that is a step forward. But, the woman behind the blog, the woman behind the voices of spirit is actually very shy. She’s ordinary. She’s sort of boring at times. And, right now she’s baring her soul. Maybe that is the most important thing. I did say before that contact with spirit will make an honest person of you. Well, it evidently happens in stages.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Mom and Ben

It's 4:00 am. I've been up for an hour. That's the problem with going to bed early. You wake up early too. Duh. Anyway, I received a supportive email from Abhay, who is just incredible. I've linked his name to just one of his sites. But, he mentioned that it was fun to see how the spiritual side of things went on with me during the time that I'm not "official" on the website. And, I was sort of thinking about it as I awakened.

Normally, these days' anyway, I awaken to the sound of multiple farts. Mine. One of the things I've noticed I've gotten as I've grown longer in the tooth and more connected to spirit is honest. So, to be honest, first thing out of the bag, I'm farting. Sorry. I suppose this ought to be an adult only site to be talking like this, but, there it is. Luckily, as we've gotten older, my husband not only farts like I do, but he can't hear so good, so I don't wake him up. And, either my sense of smell has died or, like my mother, my farts don't stink, so we're lucky there.

Now, why am I talking like this? I think my mother would have a heart attack if she knew (she knows, Dear, she can hear you.)...yikes. Okay, that's the spiritual side, or at least, the psychic side of me. Okay, so Mom is standing by.

Something else I saw today as I surfed about prior to beginning an entry on my blog was two blogs right in a row. The first was a person who had posted pictures of his cat who had just passed on. He was grieving. I can understand. I've done the same thing. And, recently, too. I understand totally. But, the second blog, right on the heels of that one was a lady who said she missed her mother. And, her mother was not out of town. She had obviously passed on. In each instance I was moved to post a comment to each of those people to offer some comfort and to say that they could, indeed, any time they felt like it think of their loved ones, whether they were a cat or their mother. And, the cat would know and their mother would listen. But, I didn't have the courage to do it.

So, to be honest about it, I sort of feel like I've let somebody down.

I'm not certain that I really understand blogs. I've been interested in reading other people's blogs to see what they are talking about. I am so very interested in blogs written by women who have taken their places as professionals in the business place. Women who seemed to have direction and purpose in their lives. As opposed to myself who just sort of landed somewhere 35 years ago and kept putting one foot in front of the other day after day. Not that it was boring. Though, there were times when it was. And, there were even more times when I would be so frustrated with my job as a secretary. I'd never been trained as a secretary, it just sort of evolved. And, the bonus, too, is that eventually I became a channel. Who would have thought that could happen? But, the one thing that I do regret with emotions that boil up unexpectedly at times is that I've never had a child. In this lifetime anyway.

I can personally attest that life is swift and fleeting and if you don't make an effort to plan your family, take the time to do it, decide that you're going to do it, you aren't going to have a family that includes kids. Anyway, meet Ben. Ben is my son from another lifetime. Now, you didn't expect to be reading this did you? Not in a normal blog, anyway. No, this is the opportunity to see what can happen to a woman who periodically grieves her unborn children to speak to the spirit of one of her sons from a prior lifetime.

I remember when Ben first came to speak to me. I asked him if I'd been a good mother to him and he said no. He said I used to drive him up the wall, but that didn't mean he didn't love me any less for it. So, I suppose, it was almost like it had really happened. I've heard of folks who have relationships with their mothers sort of like that. It might have been. Over the years, especially on days like Mother's Day when Mothers are saluted and congratulated and I'm feeling sort of left out Ben will pop by to say, "Hey". I don't know what Ben looks like (though somebody, Ben probably, just said he looks like me).

The difference between how I feel now and how I felt before I learned to channel and could talk to Ben and the guides is that before the grief was unrelenting. Now, it is bittersweet. Ah, he just kissed me. He hugged me and kissed the side of my face. Sometimes it just rises up and you can feel and experience those on the other side in ways that will bring you to your knees. And, that's what I'd like to share with others. That they can do this too. It's like I was only here 20% of the way before. Now, I'm experiencing life 100%...well, 85% anyway. Let me move through menopause and I'll be more here.

Now, the reason I bring this up is that when I awakened this morning and was farting around trying not to awaken my husband and attract the cats (noises let them know I am awake and ready to pet them) was I begin as I do every day, to talk to the guides. I used to say, "Excuse me." I don't anymore. They don't seem to mind. I just got a visual of Seth lifting a cheek to release his own fart. God, this is hilarious sometimes. Anyway, I made the comment, silently in my head to them that this, my situation, our being able to talk, just being a channel was sort of like having the benefits of having gone crazy without any of the bad things associated with it. I'm not sure what would be bad about being crazy other than paranoia which wouldn't be cool. Or hurting yourself or others. But, my life is pretty neat. You're just never alone.

The point? Well, I don't know that there was one here. It felt sort of aimless and yet there were a couple of things I needed to say. Maybe the value of a blog isn't so much in who is reading it but the benefit the writer derives from having shared something of herself or himself with the universe.

That must be it. If this were a piece of art I, as the artist, would probably get nowhere quickly by trying to create the art for somebody. No..that's not it. It's like when you write I've heard it said you can't keep thinking about selling the book. You'll ruin it or ruin the process. You've just got to write. So, if I could imagine the stage fright I'd have if I were standing before a huge group of people, knowing there were all these folks out there listening to me even if I couldn't see their faces because the lights trained on me had blinded me... I've got to just be here and be myself and with the purpose of allowing others to see that being a psychic isn't scary or totally weird, but it is different, maybe they needn't feel afraid if their own psychic natures begin to develop.

Maybe some of this will evolve into something...and, maybe not. But, it's Friday and I haven't felt the creative juices rise like this in awhile.    

Wednesday, August 24, 2005


Yikes. We need to make a decision about the Green Machine. Our 1994 Mitsubishi Mirage needs a new engine. The guides asked me the other day as I sat at a stop light how I would feel about taking the bus again. They told me to think about all the money we could save by not paying for gas and insurance and maintenance for a 2nd car. At the time I said, "Why are we talking about this?" Nobody said anything more. And, then, 2 days later I learn the car needs a new engine. So, I'm getting used to the idea. Figure a new (old) car okay enough to make the commute into Walnut Creek every day for D is going to run 4K? About? Naturally, just as our second source of income dried up.

Now, my feelings about taking the bus? Oh, Lord. I don't want to do that. I've done the bus thing before, but that was years ago. My first inclination would be that I'd need to take my cane with me. That's a big step up and down on the bus and those drivers aren't inclined to raise and lower those steps without provocation. Which means I'm going to have to ask to be treated like an old person. And, I just don't want to do that. And, being on the bus when it's crowded? And being jostled and stared at? I remember once being shoved to the back of the bus and all the little school kids had taken over the back. And, somebody threw gum in my hair. And, I turned around and glared at them and shouted, "Who did that? I want to know right now!" And, they all turned mute. At least they were quiet for awhile. But, do I want to do this again? No, a resounding no, she shouts. So, get ready to pull together the funds so we can buy another car. "Gasoline, Dear", one of the guides helpfully submits, " is $2.85 a gallon". Yes, I'm aware of that. I just need to get used to the idea.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Trying to be Artistic

Hey. I'm up early. It's been awhile since I had writer's hours, but I do remember that back in the days when I was working on my novel, some 15 years ago, I'd wake up a couple of hours early and have that quiet time to work on my book. I'm not presently working on a book, but I think I might be moving toward it. Slowly. Cautious; that's my middle name.

Anyway, yesterday evening I fiddled around a little bit with my XaraX program. It's a great little graphics illustrator sort of program that I've had for years. As I recall, it didn't cost a whole lot and I've used it for this and for that and in combination with other programs to create neato little gifs and banners. But, I never read the directions. And, as with the other software programs I use I've found that when I read the directions I find there are all sorts of neato things I never knew before. No book with this program, but it did come with a CD loaded with movies and I watched for awhile yesterday. The reason for this interest comes from me wanting to design some new graphics for this blog. Other people have such interesting little banners and buttons and here I am using the same old same old year after year. It just doesn't strike me as very imaginative. So, I determined to do something about it.

The one thing, though, that I'd like to learn is how to apply color to an area like I'm painting with it. You'd think that would be a no-brainer, but it's got me stumped. Anyway, to show off what I did last night....

Inadvertantly, I'd clicked and dragged from the tip of one petal to another and discovered the program feathered in little petals. Neat. Then, non-artist that I am I hunkered down and drew a face. Anyway, since our refrigerator is covered with all sorts of other things and no room left to display it is.

I have been promoting this blog. I'm not sure how to classify it...I bounce between thinking it is a spiritual site and a paranormal site. At the moment, it is neither. Does this mean that it ought to be a personal site? What about when one of the disembodied Folk come to talk? Like me? Is this Elvis? Moi? Yes, you. I had a thought of you a moment ago and figured I was just making it up. Many would feel that way too. And, you, having years of experience should tell them that it feels just like that sometimes; that you are making it up. I can't imagine Elvis would talk with semi-colons. I talk however you're prepared to have me talk. I know. I suppose I'm tense here. Yes, you'd used them before. You should see the times I talk in verse. Probably rhyming too. Jealous? Yes. It doesn't become you. I'm only being honest. I know that. Okay, we should take advantage of the fact that Elvis is here. Well, I can come and talk anytime you want. I know, but you don't show up here every day. Well, if you want to get technical this isn't a blog for Elvis either. That is merely the person I was. I'm that and more now. Everybody is who is in Spirit. It's like I was the shoe before. Now, I'm the whole outfit. I'm not saying it wasn't fun, it's just more complete now. What do you do all day? Well, that's one of those loaded questions. For one thing there is no day where we are. It just is the same. Time is compressed, time is expanded, time does not exist and yet, from your perspective time passes. But, that aside, I teach. Mostly. I pray. A lot. I sing. Still. Alone and with others. So, does that answer your question of how to list your blog? Well, not really, but it's sure not for the cooking aisle. If they ever came up with a Channeler's category, that's where we'd go with it. For now? Don't worry about it. Okay. Thanks. I think I'd better get to work on formatting this bit here. It'll take me awhile to get your part into a different color. Thanks for dropping by. You're quite welcome. Blessings all around. Same to you. Thanks.

Friday, August 19, 2005

On Courage - A Channeled Piece

Courage is but one petal in the flower of life. Everyone requires differing amounts of courage at different points in their lives. The courage a mother requires to give birth. The courage a father needs to allow his children to make their own way in the world. The courage any individual finds when they have been told they have a terrible illness. But, each of these people always, without fail, find the courage they need to take the next step in their lives. The difference for each of them, though, is how much fear they must overcome before they decide to act. For, act they must. Act or die.

It is a conscious decision a person will make when they decide to act with courage. In the one moment they were afraid. In the next they might still be afraid, but now they have decided to act and to act while still afraid or having just come from a place of fear is to show great courage.

What courage is there for a strong man to lift enormous weights compared to a 98 pound weakling to lift the 300 pounds that has trapped his mother? In our opinion, in that particular instance, more courage was shown by the smaller man. But, in no case should you think that overall the weakling demonstrates more courage than the stronger man, for it might require as much courage on the part of the stronger man to be gentle.

If you are faced with an enormous task, a task daunting, you might reflect upon the idea that you are always at one with the universe. It might not feel that way to you most of the time, but you could, for a moment or two, suspend belief and pretend that you are one with the universe. From there, from the point of God's love that touches upon you 24 hours a day know that you can do anything you want to try. You do have the strength. You are strong enough to do anything. You can lose weight. You can quit smoking. You can quit drinking. You can find another job. You can rebuild your life. You can pass with dignity through the trials of illness to health.

It is not necessary that you give up. It is suggested, though, that you stop struggling.

Our blessings.

My Day Off

Who says a day in the life of a psychic isn't exciting? Anyway, I've got the day off today. Today, being Friday, means it's a 3 day weekend. Awesome. Anyway, I awakened at 2:00 am with what might politely be termed an upset stomach. It's now almost 4:00 am and I still haven't been able to get back to sleep. I was actually wondering last night what it would be that would incapacitate me today. It never fails but that I take a day off from work and I get sick. Anyway, I'm not going to let it hold me back. It's not like it's a sore back or passing a kidney stone or any of the other things that generally happen to me when I take a day off.

Dennis and I plan to go to CostCo today. For those who might not know what CostCo is, it's an event. It's a place where you go broke saving money. You can get a whole case of canned mushrooms. Don't get me wrong because I love fresh mushrooms, but having canned ones in the cupboard just opens up entire vistas of culinary gusto when you don't feel like going to the store to build dinner.

So, I've been building a list. Vitamins for the both of us for the next year. Oh, yeah...I forgot to put a mattress pad on the list. The one we have is actually in pretty good shape. At least, the top of it is. The sides, however, are an entirely different matter. They've shrunk. And, getting the pad onto the bed after it's been washed is horrible. I had to ask Dennis to do it last time because I physically did not have the strength to make the stupid bed. The only thing that's been holding me back is that the top is in such excellent condition. I ought to be able to figure out something with elastic on the corners or something like that if I cut off the sides to extend the life of it and save some money. Except, I just don't seem to have time. Anyway, if they've got one at Costco I'll get one today.

And, many other things on the list, too. It's not like we don't need any of them with the exception of a coffee pot. The one we have is working fine, but it looks like crap. I came home yesterday and it was still on. Sheesh. I mentioned it to Dennis last night and he said, "oooops." Right. Everything was okay, but it had been on all day with an empty pot on it. We were lucky nothing caught fire.

Time out...What did I tell you...upset stomach. Anyway, my current book is, "Smoke and Mirrors" by Jayne Ann Krentz. She's one of my favorite writers. Depending upon which kind of book she's writing she will write under a different name. Krentz is the name she uses for her contemporary stuff. Amanda Quick is the name she uses for her historicals. Jayne Castle is the name she uses for futuristic things. I believe she might use a few more pen names, but Jayne Ann Krentz is her real name. Just a terrific lady. Has she written 140 books? I'd be willing to bet on it. Now, here's an upside to getting old. I'd read this book before. And, generally, when I pick up one of her books from around the house I remember the story. I still enjoy it again, but I, at least, remember the story. Today? Nope. It's like I'm reading it for the first time. Which on the one hand is terrific, but on the other hand a bit worrisome. Anyway, it's my day off and I get to enjoy what appears to be a fresh read from Jayne Ann Krentz.

You know, if somebody were to invent a glow in the dark keyboard for pc's I'd buy it. I found an excellent one for Mac's, but not for PC's. Right now I'm typing in the dark...well, at least in the glow from the monitor. But, my keyboard sits down lower than the level of the desk on a pull out shelf and the uppper portion of it is obscured in the shadows. I can't locate the backspace key or the delete key easily. It's like learning the numbers on the keyboard...I don't know easily where those two keys are by touch. In the 9th grade I took a typing class and the last thing we learned before summer vacation were the numbers. It was a hurried session and nobody had a whole lot of time to practice on them. So, I really didn't learn them all that well.

It wasn't until the job I had as secretary in the Economics Department at the University of Maryland before I learned my number keys. In those days we did not have computers and typed instead on IBM selectrics with the exchangeable balls. When you type an economics formula you are in constant motion with switching to different balls to get the proper characters. Anyway, combined with numbers to get anywhere very quickly you'd need to be good on the typewriter. And, I got good. I wonder how they do it now using computers? Probably with alt number I do for a cents symbol. Alt 155 ¢ . For anybody who is interested, you've got to hold down the alt key with one finger while you key in the number On The Number Pad with the other. It doesn't work if you use the numbers at the top of the keyboard. And, there are lists out there for all the different Greek and other sorts of symbols you can use. Mostly I use the cents symbol. I never understood why they hadn't put that one on a keyboard.

Here's what some of those formulas look like from one of the professors I used to type for more than 20 years ago. Amazing thing...the internet.

I'm really beginning to like this blogging business. I could go a bit overboard with it, but that's okay too, I guess. Somehow it's so much more vibrant than a webpage. Well, mine anyway. Though, I did get a request yesterday from a reader for whatever the guides had to say about courage. I did a search with the Google search bar at the bottom of the main page at Talking To Spirit and came up with two specific instances of the word courage. So, I figured that might be a good thing to do today too. Just, ask the guides to talk about it (which they did indicate to me that they'd be okay with), send it to her and then, use that as a basis for a new webpage. Seems to me anybody would be interested in courage. Me too, for that matter.

So, maybe another entry later on today. Ta.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

The Phenomena of Guides and theyre Speling Mystaks

Normally I wouldn't make a second post on the same day, but this is going to be another article for my September newsletter. I'd started work on it a couple of weeks ago and finished it up this morning. We're on a roll!

This is an inside peek at what happens to me when I channel via the keyboard. Normally, I’m a pretty fast typist. Not phenomenal, but okay. I’m not all that great with accuracy, but that doesn’t really matter these days with the wonderful spell checkers that kick in automatically with certain words. Hey, it makes me look pretty good. However, I have to admit that when I am in the grip of channeling I usually close my eyes. That’s so the focus stays more with the guides and not with the screen. I don’t do this when I’m channeling in the car though. Eyes wide open.

Anyway, I indulge myself and sort of relax when I channel on the keyboard. But, it’s interesting to see what you’ve typed when you open your eyes. Mistakes like you wouldn’t believe. Words run together. Words actually missing. You heard them, but somehow they didn’t end up on the paper. When I first began channeling it would upset me a lot and I’d think I was a rotten channel. It got better to the extent that I wasn’t exhausted after I’d channeled something. It also got better in that I could stay with the channeling for longer and longer periods of time. I could sit here for an hour channeling, with not too many breaks, and I’d be pretty much okay. But, the mistakes persist.

How we solved it all? I edit. Hey, we want this stuff to look good. I’m never, I think, going to be that perfect typist. Oh, and sometimes there is the phenomena of the guides saying one thing and veering off to a new subject. I have discovered they do this on purpose with me. The sentence starts okay, but suddenly whammo we’ve gone off in a new direction. It’s because my concentration has started to flag. When the editing part rolls around they pick up on that one lonely thought and expand upon it, almost as if it were a placeholder for them to come back to later on. Like they are pacing themselves with me.

Anyway, in the early days of my channeling the editing process was jerky, slow and at times hilarious. I’d read through the piece of channeling and come upon something that sounded awkward to me. I’d go, “Seth, didn’t you really want to say…?” And, he’d go, “Yes.” And, I’d change it. Now, I pause when I come upon something I think might have been changed somehow by either my bad typing or my flagging concentration.

The guides want to say something: Normally, the major idea has been set upon the papers during the process of channeling and there is nothing more than minor, superficial changes to be made. The tone is our own. It is as if a fabric is being embroidered upon. There might be a loose thread here and there, but we are certainly aware of where they are and when, during the editing process we come upon them with Pauline’s fine attention to detail, we suggest the appropriate changes. This excellent way of working, of collaborating with our channel, has evolved through much practice during the years she has channeled for us. Übung machts den Meister.

Blogs vs Webpages

I have to say that working a blog is ten times easier than updating webpages. With my blog, as with many others, there is only the one page. That's it. With my website, Talking To Spirit, there are a gazillion pages. I have my pick of 450 to fiddle with. Overwhelming. That's why I'm here this morning. It's easier. Okay, I need an article for my newsletter. I think I just found it.

The Easy Way Out: I think it is human nature to move toward the easier way to do things. Actually, it might even be a law of psychics. Consider water. It doesn't run uphill. At least, not generally. So, if you figure that we humans are always going to take the easy way out how can you get us to do something that will not be the easy way out? How do you motivate somebody to do something they really don't want to do? Like a diet or an exercise program?

Maybe we need to think like the donkey and the stick. Or, the donkey and the carrot? Which is going to move a donkey forward? I don't think the stick will generally work. I think the carrot is a better motivator for donkeys. How about humans? What along the lines of a carrot is going to motivate somebody to do something?

Or, maybe it's all a matter of perspective and what is a difficult course of action for one person is not difficult for another? Maybe the idea, instead of coercing or motivating should be to change your mind so that you no longer think something is hard?

Okay. Though this grates upon me to do so, we might take myself as an example and consider the ways an exercise program is not something to shy away from. I have an excuse, I say. What is it? My knee hurts and because I've been favoring it my back and my hip hurt. I can't exercise today. Fine, you say. Fine? Yes, fine. What you can do now it to discover what exercises will strengthen your back, your knee and your hip. Oh, I say. Oh, I say again. Okay, I say. Well, I don't know how you did it, but you just removed all resistance from me as far as an exercising program goes. Exercise, for me anyway, has always hurt. I usually damage something 3 hours into the program and will not continue with it. But, if the focus of the exercise now becomes a means to shore up aging and flabby muscles that are already hurt, as a means to heal; that sort of sheds a new light on things. My resistance has magically disappeared.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Time on my Hands

Not having HGH to ship anymore, I find myself with lots of time on my hands. I also find something interesting happening and something disturbing. The interesting thing is that I've got more time to devote to creative things and those creative urges are settling in on blogging. What is it? Who does it? How do they do it? And, can I do it too? So, here I am.

I'm not quite ready to put a link to Talking To Spirit yet, but I think I'm close. I was also reminded this morning that I've got a newsletter to get underway for September. Should anyone be reading this and interested in previous issues they are available here. It's not that they are difficult to do; it's just that I need to make the time to do them and also be sufficiently relaxed and ready to rock and roll. Distracted just don't cut it. So, this weekend ought to be good to make a beginning. I need 3 articles and a book review. And, if you want to get technical I've also got a small white space to fill in the lower right corner, but the only thing I've ever put there is our address. I tried some Google Ads, but somehow they didn't work right.

I've been thinking about the differences between blogging and websites. With websites and my website in particular, it is, to me, like a book. But, a dynamic book. I've touched upon some subjects in it, but not gone as deeply into them as one might with a book. But, still, it sort of satisfies an urge in my own self to twiddle with it. Nothing worse, to my way of thinking, than looking at a finished, published book and going, "Oh, I wish I'd said more about..." Granted, you can always put out another edition, but, that's easier said than done. First you need the energy to do it and second, you need an agreeable publisher. However, I seem to have lost the momentum and find myself with the fresh thoughts coming here.

Granted, I haven't allowed myself an outlet of this sort in some years, though I'd make sporadic stabs at journaling on my computer and in various books scattered about the house, but nothing as intense, as concentrated and as therapeutic as the journaling I did that year and a half when I wasn't working, before I began to channel and when I vowed I would write a million words. Maybe I could look at this blogging thing as some inner work I need to do to pave the way to more intense work at Talking To Spirit. Or, and I'm getting one of those inner views of my guide laying his finger aside of his nose as an affirmative, I could think of it as the creative greasing of wheels necessary for me to actually write a book about channeling.

I've noticed a few blogs on the interet that stop. Like 2 years ago was the last entry. What happened? Did they die? Did they just lose interest and abandon the site? The site looks interesting; why the disinterest from the author? So, for me, committment is an important part of it. I'm a Virgo. I'm loyal.

I also would like to produce an interesting blog. Something that has evolved with Talking To Spirit is an honesty of what it's like to be psychic. I could merely continue that theme here. Being psychic, seeking to be psychic isn't a 24 hour a day job. You've got ordinary life that comes in too, just like anybody else. It's just that you can exercise those psychic muscles and the things you think about don't have to be, well, not that they don't have to be, they aren't private. It's sort of like when you were a kid and your folks were teaching you about God and about guardian angels about how you are always in their sights. Yeah, it really is like that. Not a thing you do goes unnoticed. It might go uncommented upon, but it sure doesn't go unnoticed. You tend to live a more upright life as a consequence. Or, at least I do.

Anyway, I suppose blogging could teach me, or help me to be more organized in my thinking. I have this personal style of barfing writing. It sounds terrible, but it's how I write. I just barf it out all over the page. And, right now, it doesn't seem too organized. Maybe that's first draft quality. One of the guides just said, "Your point?"


So, life is interesting right now with the blogging. Honestly though, nobody is reading it. With the exception of a guy from Morocco of all places who took the time the other day to go to Talking to Spirit and leave me a short message that he liked the site. That's encouraging. What can I say...I'm as human as anybody. But, it's new and as I explore other blogs I'll link to them and perhaps they will link to me. I wonder if I need to ask folks for reciprocal links like I do with Talking to Spirit? Probably. Sounds reasonable.

A lot of the work that I have facing me with Talking To Spirit is going to center upon technical issues. How to optimize the site for search engines. How to build up the resource and link pages. How to (Important) get more reciprocal links. And, finally, how to get more traffic in. Maybe I can do "Fun" stuff here. For awhile, anyway. Maybe I can get my engine reved up here and satisfy my obviously creative needs with the blog enough that I can also devote an hour a day to the technical aspects of Talking To Spirit.

How psychic is that? Well, it's not. But, it is. Because if you were interested in knowing what it's like to be psychic there it is. It's not all that interesting. It's normal. Well, at least I got used to it. Somebody just asked me if I wanted to talk to Captain Bligh. Ahhhh. No, actually. Thank you very much, but I get the point. It is interesting. LOL.

One thing that I've found very interesting is that I get an average of 100 hits a day at Talking To Spirit. And, not only is it an average, but it's pretty consistent. The same thing used to happen with Same number of folks a day ordering. How in the world can you be assured of the same number of folks a day come to your website? Not all of those people are the same people. Some are, but most are new. They've never been there before. Where are they coming from and what do they want? There's no way that anybody could sit there and read everything at Talking to Spirit in one 20 minute sitting. There's just too much. Even if you sat there for 3 hours you still wouldn't be able to read it all. It's a pretty huge site. Why am I not working on it more? Has it reached it's size limit?

So, those are the interesting things that have happened lately. The disturbing things is that I find myself with the old body breaking down. My back hurts like the dickens. I'm having high blood sugar evenings and my knee, lately, has consumed a great deal of my attention. It just feels like I'm going to hell in a handbasket as far as physical stuff is concerned. I'd begun a very, very slow recovery of doing one minute of walking in place every morning. I'd done it for 2 weeks when the knee gave out on me. I'll need to pick that up again when I'm healed up. But, it concerns me. I'm going to need a lot of physical strength for all this blogging and wesite tweaking and especially if I decide to make a book.

Oh, yikes. I think I'm afraid of the book. And, I'm sabotaging it. Oh, do you think? That's what journaling is good for. It's good for figuring things out. Yeah, that feels right. That's also what being psychic is about. Well, actually, that isn't necessarily psychic stuff. That's just good personal psychological work. When you hit that, "Ah Ha!" and realize without a shadow of a doubt what it is that's bothering you., I'm going to have to think about this. I'm afraid of writing a book. Why? The last book I wrote took a lot out of me. I tended to not do anything else for the 3 years it took to write it. It's exhausting both physically and mentally. And, I never did get it published. It's still under the bed; my swashbuckling, murder, mystery and mayhem, adventure, romance book. To be continued.....

And, the guides are laughing...

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Spiritual Matters

I don't practice the idea of right company. Because I'm a hermit sort of person by nature, I suppose. But, I do encounter any number of people when I go to work during the course of any weekday. And, I have to admit that being, seeking spirituality ain't number one thing to do on our hit parade. It's making money. Also, it's griping. Also, it's complaining. Also, it's whining. That's about it.

I was thinking about it last night as I flipped through the channels on television after I'd gotten home from work. Wayne Dyer had a commercial spot on the public television station and he was talking about how if you change the way you look at things the things you look at will change. And, he's got a point about it. But, it was about the most profound thing I'd listened to all day. And, that's when I was reminded that I don't practice right company.

I also need to say I'm not going to either. I am a solitary sort of person and I don't chum around with folks. They tend to take more of my time than I'm willing to give. Also, I'm a very private sort of person (though why I'm doing a blog which is to unveil all is beyond me this morning). The few experiences I've had with friends in my pocket haven't lasted long. But, long distance friends I'm okay with.

So, what I need to do, I think, is to devote more time to my own spiritual needs. One of the guides just suggested an uplifting passage. That would work. Also, I think I need to be less the mean secretary and more the accomodating one. Except, when I do that folks tend to take advantage, but maybe that's what I need to do. My life is one of service anyway; that it take the form of secretarial duties shouldn't matter.

Also, something I can do as far as my own inner calm is to leave it all at the door. I should try harder to not bring home the anxiousness, the anxiety, the anger that I am exposed to at work. In the 15 years I've been there the situation has always been the same, so this is nothing new. And, I don't expect that it will change. There are a few members of my company who glide placidly through their days and don't seem to be affected by the turmoil others express. I could be more like them.

Actually, that's not a bad theme for a new webpage at Talking To Spirit - How to feel spiritual amidst the turmoil of your ordinary life. Actually, now that I think about it, no matter what your day is like if you have that spiritual turn of mind it would make a difference. At least, I think it would. Anyway, that could be a project for the weekend.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Our 29th Anniversary

Dennis and I are returned from an overnight visit to a lighthouse B&B. We went to the East Brother Light Station It was delightful. At the left is an aerial view of East Brother, May 11, 1945. (U.S, Coast Guard).

I admit I was a bit leery of being able to physically manage getting on and off the boat; when we arrived four steps going up the ladder because the tide was in from the bobbing boat, but 12 steps going down into the boat because the tide was out when we left, but I did okay. The last step I took, though, was the one that did my knee in when we returned to the main land. So, I'm taking it easy this afternoon; the old magic prescription of ice and ibuprophen. But, overall, I feel it was just a delightful trip.

And, I forgot that I shouldn't have anything with caffeine in it after lunch. For dinner I had a couple of cokes. Consequently, I was awake most of the night. There's just no way around it. I just can't handle this stuff anymore.

Some people say they've seen ghosts there and one of the ladies in the group did say she felt the presence of a bunch of people. I sang up the darkness after dinner I felt that relaxed and peaceful. It's been a long time since I did anything like that. Nobody around to comment or notice. The solitude was lovely, I thought. Though, Isabella had said that after having lived there for 2 years she thinks it's a bit too lonely. She and her husband Lucien live there with their little dog, Lucy, named for Lucielle Ball.

Isabella made the most delicious meals for us. Dinner was incredible with chicken, green beans with orange zest, rice with dried cherries or cranberries in it and some sort of sticky sauce on the bottom. Just fantastic. Something incredibly chocolate and decadent for dessert. There was lots of wine for folks who wanted that and Dennis and I had cokes. Next time I remember to ask for 7-Up or something decaffeinated.

This morning, breakfast was just as special. They had shell molded bowls that she made individual French Toast Soufflés in. The tops were dusted with cinnamon and it looked like crested waves. Just fantastic. I wish I could do things like that.

There were 3 other couples there with us; two of them also celebrating wedding anniversaries and one celebrating the lady's birthday. There are 4 very nicely done rooms in the light house itself. Dennis and I, upon the recommendation of folks at his work, asked for Walter's Quarters, which is a small room and toilet some 100 feet away, at the other end of the island from the lighthouse. I loved it. In the middle of the night you could get up and go stand outside to watch the water. In the house I wouldn't have felt like I could do that. So, I was very pleased with where we were. Dennis will have some pictures eventually that I'll put up with this entry. Walter was one of the inn keepers. Interestingly, he was there as a guest when the innkeeper left his 18 year old wife in charge by herself. Walter pitched in and stayed 20 years or more.

Lucien gave us a tour this morning and Dennis will be returning to the island weekend after next with Eric to do the ground work they need to set up East Brother Light Station as the first picture in the next Then and Now book they do. Also, Dennis wants to do a story on the light house for his tab for up in the area for the newspaper. Isabella and Lucien are leaving shortly after having been there for 2 years, but are handing the reins over to some friends who take over after them. Eventually, Isabelle said they were thinking they might like to end up in Italy. What a dream.

I worried about the kitties while we were gone, but everyone seems to be happy. They all greeted us at the door when we arrived back shortly after noon. We'd left them 3 litter boxes, extra stars and their dinner. I'd turned a fan on and left windows open in the back and made sure the radio was playing softly. Called Phil, who knew we were going, and left him Dennis' cell phone number in case there was a problem. We were even able to get Samantha into the house before we left. She and Mitzie were the first out of the door when we got back. So, though I worried about them, they were fine.

One thing that did happen last night was that at one point during my sleepless time I started seeing eyes. Lots of them. Pairs and one, but no faces. Which was odd. And, it got faster. I observed placidly. Doesn't help to get upset by that stuff. At one point I did get frightened before all the eye business started, but I pulled the sheet over me and turned over. The feeling went away. The next morning, Robin said she'd felt the presence of folks and even Dennis said he'd heard something during the night. I too had heard what sounded like the latch on the bathroom door being thrown, but didn't think much of it.

East Brother Light Station 117 Park Place, Point Richmond, CA 94801 Phone: 510.233.2385

Friday, August 05, 2005

Hey, It's Friday

I'm experimenting. In swishing about the internet looking at other people's blogs I saw some that had titles. Lo and behold, I can do that too. So, from now on I think I'll have titles.

I began the process of submitting this blog to blog directories, but, so far haven't noticed that anybody has come to visit. Maybe they are as slow as I am in updating things. I've got 3...maybe 4 weeks worth of reciprocal link submissions to cull through for Thayer's ABC's of Self Help Directory. One yahoo had come through and spent three days submitting requests for various sites and never once had a reciprocal link back to our site. I suppose he got tired of it. I'd never been spammed before with requests. Anyway, back to the blog. There's still the question of is this a blog friendly site...meaning, am I doing it right? I think I'm not as optimized as I might be in regard to the feed issue, but it will come. I'm not really in the mood this morning to do any in-depth research, and, truth to tell, I haven't been feeling all that well lately. Took my blood sugar reading last night and it was 215. That ain't good. I don't think, anyway. But, it could be why I don't feel like doing anything after 2:00 pm in the afternoon...which makes for a long afternoon at work.

There was this one blog that I was absolutly fascinated by. It was a cooking blog and had links to other sites and feeds and was beautifully done. The lady worked on several (many) different blogs and projects all at the same time. Do you think I saved it? No. I couldn't find a bookmark of the site anywhere. And, I can't find it on the search engines either. Shoot. Anyway, I thought this morning maybe I could do a cooking blog...then, I thought, "No. Maybe it should be an eating blog." That would certainly be more appropriate.

Here's a joke I heard yesterday: This man and his wife needed a new car. The man really didn't have any preferences as to what it was going to be, but the wife was really set on having a sports car. She said to him, "I want something that will go from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds flat. My birthday is coming up. Surprise me." For her birthday he got her a scale. to the races.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Goldilocks and the chair

I purchased a new chair at Office Depot. This is the Patriot. It was on sale for $119 and is an 8 hour task chair. I'd intended it for work where the two chairs I sit in have both been broken for about 2 years. Longer, even, if I think about it. I'd felt responsible for breaking them because I'm so overweight but this really nice guy at Office Depot explained to me that it's not weight but the many times you get up and down that will eventually break the chair. For a fat person to hear that sort of news was heartening; except I still think it is my weight.

Anyway, for the last 2 years I'd make the occasional foray into Office Depot and go sit in the chairs in the back and felt very much like Goldilocks testing out furniture in the Bear's house. The only ones that would come close to feeling okay cost $30 and we figured that a chair that didn't cost much wouldn't last long. Also, there was the matter of getting them to coordinate with the furniture in the office. So, I'd sit there at work and slowly sink as I worked at the computer or the desk. Or, I'd go to sit down and it would be like somebody had removed the chair; it would be as if it weren't there which is a horrible shock to anybody's system.

So, over the weekend I got this chair. And, I was trying to figure out how to get it up to the office on Monday when it occurred to me that I hadn't given it a good test and if you got real about it my chair at home was a torment to my back too. My back has become a living, breathing, aggravating torment lately. I'm good for about 4 hours in the day and then, that's it. It's agony for the rest of the day. Every day. No matter what I do. So, I'm keeping it. I put it together last night and just rolled it back here to the study prior to beginning this post. I've got to say it's a little wobbley. I'm not sure if that's the way it's supposed to be or if that's how I've got all the different levers adjusted.

I'm working my way through, "The Drums of Autumn" by Diana Gabaldon, the 4th book in the Outlander series. I've read them 15 times (which means I really don't know how many times it's been, but it's been a lot). I'd even gotten to the point where I'd just feel like reading the story, pick up one of the books, open it to a favorite spot and read for 2 days. I've never done that with any books before and I've got to say I sort of like it. But, this time I started with the first one and have worked my way through.

I ordered Diana's book, "Lord John and the Private Matter" from the library and have it now to read. It's not a part of the series, but a sort of spin off with one of the characters. I'm looking forward to reading it. And, somewhere in this house I have the last, the 5th book in her series, "The Fiery Cross". Except, I can't find it. So, Drums may be it for awhile. As I recall, Dennis bought me the hard back and it's too heavy for me to handle. I might have sent it to my sister. I have this vague memory of having done that. Only, why would I have sent her the 5th in the series without also sending her the first 4 books? Beats me...later note: I found it. Interestingly, as I walked into the bedroom my eyes went right to it where it sits in the bookcase. Over the weekend I looked all over the place for it. So, that, is one of those "psychic" things that folks can do.

Anyway, this entry isn't so much about what it's like to be psychic as what it's like to be Pauline. Reminds me of that movie, "Being John Malcovich". Very odd movie. Very odd indeed.

Also, over the weekend I purchased a 56k modem for the other computer that sits under my desk. The idea is to see what it's like for folks who've got a 56k modem to see Talking To Spirit. Right away I discovered the text/image skyscraper ad I've got doesn't load up right away and slows the whole thing down. So, this morning I changed that to a text only ad. That should be better. I was gettting tired of seeing that hunky guy anyway. LOL. A sign of getting old? One of the guides said, "No, only demented." Ha.

Monday, August 01, 2005

An Ordinary Psychic

Being a psychic isn't really any different than when I was an ordinary person. I'm still an ordinary person. But, in addition to being an ordinary person I can, if I want to, solicite opinions or ask for advice or have somebody to listen to me while I piss and moan. Actually, that's pretty good.

I used to talk to myself. When I started channeling I stopped doing that because I was embarrassed. I wouldn't have wanted any live person to overhear me talking to myself; why would I want one in Spirit to overhear me too? As the years went by I moved back to where I would talk to myself every once in awhile. It actually helps me to prepare for things. Sort of like learning your Spanish dialogue for next day's Spanish class. But, even now I'll find that I've lapsed into talking to myself without even realizing what I'd done. I sort of snap out of it and with a sidelong look to Spirit that asks for forgiveness....Ha. Channeling Funny. One of our friendly folk in Spirit just said, "I wish she'd ask for forgiveness when she has gas." Oh, that's hilarious. Well, yeah. There's that too.

Anyway, I just wanted to say how it's all the same and how it's wildly different too. I need to go get ready for work...breakfast, all my vitamins and medications and build a lunch. Speaking of building things. I saw a Levis commercial on television yesterday. They were talking about building pants for men. I thought it was hilarioius. What man would want to wear pants that had been made or sewn? No, build 'em and build 'em tough. Ha.