Sunday, December 31, 2006
For the rest of the day I’m planning on easy things. Clean up some more in the study, do some ironing, make brownies and buy the fixings for dinner. We’re going to have our special dinner today rather than tomorrow because I’ve got to work half a day. I’d like to make schwine schnitzel, but if they don’t have boneless pork chops I’ll get some steaks, pound them out and make us country fried steak instead.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Bear with me…I’m just thinking aloud.
For many years I’ve been interested in being closer to what I, in the past, called God, and in more recent years have begun to think of as other things in addition to God. This has had a number of names for me and I recognize that there is still, even now, a fluidity with just what that is.
God, Now, Us, Enlightenment, Ascension, Heaven. I don’t know. It’s something different, though.
I can’t think that I’m any different than anybody else. I think of people I’ve come across who talk of being enlightened. What does that mean? For me, I think it means that I would no longer be concerned with many of the things that concern me now, which would actually be a relief. Pain, worry, stress, anger…all that to wash away. How very cool and gee, I wish I could go there.
Love. The guides talk about love all the time. They say it is the glue that binds the universe together. They say there is truth in the saying that love does conquer all, that love makes the world go round. Stuff like that.
What’s interesting to me is that every once in awhile the realization of something bigger than myself, something beyond the boundaries of ordinary life and what makes up my usual reality blasts upon me. It’s sudden. It’s almost overwhelming. Sometimes it feels so good it hurts and I cry, which is a sight because it happens mostly on my way to or from work in the car. Driving along MacArthur Blvd with tears streaming down my face. I hope nobody can see. It’s not like I’m picking my nose. Sometimes I wonder if it is just a stage of menopause. Maybe I just ovulated. Maybe I’m tired. Maybe I’m vulnerable. Maybe I just caught a glimpse of Heaven.
Mostly, I think we’re already saved no matter what we are doing. It’s not like we’ve got to jump on anybody else’s bandwagon or religion in order to make it to Heaven. It’s not a race. It’s a journey. You go fast. You go slow. Who cares? One of the guides just said it’s like a dance, too: one step forward and two steps back.
I guess if you want to learn from your mistakes you make an effort to do that. Otherwise you spend 15 lifetimes doing the same stuff over and over again. Can you imagine? Being a victim to somebody else’s rage over and over again? If that was me I wouldn’t like that. I’d prefer to be in a place where I’m happy.
Now, that brings up something to think about too. If you are blessed with enlightenment does that also mean you are automatically happy? Or is being happy like being sad where it’s not really real like what they say in, “A Course in Miracles”? Maybe a sort of medium feeling is what would be best? And, that brings up another point: What is best anyway? Maybe there is no best. Maybe there is different. Maybe there is variety, but good or bad doesn’t mean a whole lot.
Sheesh, it’s like walking straddling a chasm and I’m only on page 10.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Blessings. In this time of strife and hopefulness of the season, wanting peace and yet living in the midst of strife seems a great contradiction. Generally, at other times of the year you live in stress filled times and are on guard against the “bad” things that come to threaten you. However, during holy days whether celebrated in temples or in churches or mosques the expectation is that other’s hearts will be as full of spirit as your own feel full. Sadly, this is not always the case and you will see tragedies happen, clustering together. A person, depressed with their circumstances, goes over the edge and in seeking ease from the hurt they feel will sometimes lash out around them affecting others in their blaze of glory on their way out and off this plane of existence.
Does this mean you should only be half filled with the spirit of the day? For some this would be the ideal situation, a more mature and responsible attitude to take. We would certainly not count religious in this for they are hopelessly entwined with Spirit and can never come undone to accept reality.
So, during the holy seasons you move closer to a place where Spirit can be a tangibly felt part of your life. You really feel God in your heart for a few hours or days. You open your heart and God, the Holy Spirit, streams in to fill every nook and cranny. And, then, once the holy days are over you revert to your normal hedonistic self. Now, you are cautious again against those who would seek to do you harm.
Sounds off balance to me.
But, the feeling persists that if you give over to Spirit and allow God into your heart that you are leaving your flanks and rear vulnerable to attack.
Think on it this way and see if you don’t begin to reconsider your position. You are not backing yourself into the corner during the celebrations of Holy Days. “Bad” things are going to happen to you and to others regardless of your state of mind. You do not have to be ever vigilant. There is a way to allow Spirit into your life on a constant basis and still fulfill your obligations to the world around you.
Just ask. Just make the invitation. Just make the commitment. Nothing formal. Silently and with your heartfelt voice say, “I’ve been lonely. Sometimes I need some help. I’m tired of doing this alone. Will you be with me? Will you help? Thank you.”
Saturday, December 23, 2006
The plan, right now, is to offer free copies for downloading and folks can purchase a paperback copy for $10 plus whatever shipping they want. They had a bunch of different options and I went for $1.91 for media rate through the US mail. I’m not sure how long it will take, but hopefully it won’t be too long in coming.
What I’m thinking about doing is to pay lulu $99 to get an ISBN and re-publish allowing the book to be available in other places besides lulu.com. Something for me to think about.
These recent quakes were all on the Hayward fault which runs pretty close to my house. Oct 21, 1868 was the last one. And, we’re due. And, I have to admit I’m afraid.
Here’s the conversation I just had with the guides: “So, if this house fell apart and you were killed what would you do?” No brainer on that one. I’d be dead. And, from what they’ve told me I probably wouldn’t care.
“And, if you lost everything what would you do?” I said I’d start over.
Man, but fear can really suck the life right out of you, though.
So, I’ll mull over what they said…and, go get dressed. The thought of having the house fall to pieces around me while I’m in my jammies just doesn’t hold much appeal.
For those who are interested go to: http://pasadena.wr.usgs.gov/shake/ca/ to see the latest quakes in California. More information can be gotten here: http://quake.usgs.gov/recent/index.html
Once, during the course of the month, as I was almost knocking my head against the edge of the desk one of the guides suggested, “On your knees and pray.” I thought that was actually quite funny. There’s one thing they have is an incredible sense of timing for the one-liners they come up with. But, here I am 2 weeks later and I still haven’t come up with anything.
So, I thought I might approach it in a way that is similar to how I am currently trying to fashion some watchbands to go with the watch faces I bought. Just sit down and do it and see what happens.
I know we’ve done breathing and writing was last month. I’ve recommended CD’s and movies and books. In January some people might be concerned with fresh starts and the resolutions they’d made. And, I know how hard it is to stick to a resolution. I’m all fired up about in the beginning, but as time wears on my enthusiasm wanes and eventually I stop whatever healthy or good activity I’d chosen as my resolution.
Maybe because there was no reward for me to do the behavior. Maybe in creating a resolution you also need to create the reward. I haven’t tried that one yet.
Okay…so, say my resolution is to lose weight. Rewards for me, any day of the week, would include chocolate. So, that would suck. What kind of a reward could I have for losing weight? Movies? Books? Clothes? A day off. Yes, I could ask for a day off from work to do whatever I want. But, the deal would be I’d have to lose 8 pounds first. 10 pounds? No, 8 pounds. More than 5 and less than 10. I can manage 8 pounds.
Okay, so what other rewards would be good? I guess I could come up with a generic list of rewards, but, they really need to be crafted for the individual person. It’s the donkey and the carrot routine.
I’ve never once been able to stick to any of the resolutions I make. But, I’ve also never had a reward for good behavior either. Maybe this year it might work out better.
Friday, December 22, 2006
I’m just now sort of emerging from it. For awhile afterward I was concerned that what I was writing to blog about was drivel and that nobody would ever be remotely interested. Also, once I looked at the finished pieces they just seemed so silly and whiney that even I didn’t want to read them.
What happened yesterday was that I was reading blogs at Blog Explosion and I began reading a blog I’ve never read before. Actually, I can’t even tell you the name of it now. But, they were talking about mundane and very ordinary events in their life. I mean this was totally pedestrian. Not super hero stuff. Not shining star stuff. Just ordinary stuff. And, I was totally enthralled. I hung on every word this lady had typed. I was really, really interested. And, that’s when my own log jam finally broke up. So, here I am…back in my hair curlers and fluffy slippers with nothing of truly extraordinary importance to talk about. But, at least I think I’m getting back on track again.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
I thought it was funny.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
When the month was over I ran out of gas. I haven’t been blogging very much. It isn’t that I haven’t been writing. There are any number of entries that I made that as I looked at the finished product I decided to put them into my journal instead. It’s not really that they were any different from any other blog I’d done before the month of NaNoWriMo. Same mundane stuff. Nothing really significant. Just regular stuff. But, I didn’t feel that it belonged here. I didn’t get rid of the entries entirely, I just put it into my journal instead. Private. Buried. Not to see the light of day again. That’s how I am with my journals.
Maybe I just need to go with the flow here. I’m still probably reeling from November. Generally a stress filled time is what the holidays are for me. You’re supposed to be happy. You’re supposed to be full of excitement and being depressed is not allowed. I guess.
One of the guides just said to me, “Welcome back to the land of the living.”
The other day I was sitting quietly at work after lunch. I wasn’t reading anything. I’d taken off my glasses and closed my eyes for a couple of seconds. I was sitting at my desk, where I always sit for lunch. Suddenly, from out of the psychic mists came to me a person. A woman. But, she wasn’t real in the sense that she had been a person once upon a time, now passed on and with the Folk in Spirit I talk to. No, she was one of my characters. She was a person who would be in a book I would someday write.
I shuddered with awe. Tears came to my eyes. It was magic. It was a writer’s high and I wasn’t even writing. This was somebody I could get to know and eventually she would tell me her story and I would write it down. It was a pretty incredible experience. I said to her, “You’ll come back to me? We can talk? I can see what you look like?” She said, “Yes. I will come again.” And, that was it. I had to get back to work.
This is what it’s like being psychic.
It just doesn’t matter. And, in the end if you don’t believe in God believe in yourself.
Live a good life.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Index cards. Yes, I know this is sort of really low tech and simple, but they work. If you don’t have 10 of them kicking around in your house go to the store; grocery, drug or office supply store, and purchase a pack of them. Whatever color you desire. They come in basic white and a few pastel colors.
On these ten cards, in pretty large letters, write something you’d like to do. Think of it this way: You go to work every day and once you are there you know pretty much, exactly what you are supposed to be doing. Or, you go to school every day and your schedule is mapped out; you know what you are doing. Do this for yourself.
On the top of each card write something you’d like to be doing. It might even be as mundane as keeping your area clean. That’s what is on one of my cards. I tend to whirl into my study, set myself down at the computer and go to town. Behind me, beside me and in front of me is a mess. I ignore it, but when the focus of my attention loosens from whatever I’ve been doing to become aware of the mess around me I am disheartened. That’s what I don’t need anymore; that feeling of helplessness and hopelessness about my mess. So, pick it up. That’s what’s on my card. Not, “Clean up the study”, because that could take 2 weeks. Instead, my card reads, “Spend 5 minutes cleaning up the study”
Here are the rest of my cards:
* Drink a glass of water now
* Do 10 slow stretches now
* Do your eye exercises now (Sometimes I see double. To force my eyes back to center I focus in on the tip of a pen held out in front of me. I bring the pen closer to my face all the while focusing on the tip and then move it out again a few times every day.)
* Spend 5 minutes walking in place
* Practice 5 minutes of Tai Chi
* Jump and dance around to the count of 50
* Drink another glass of water now
* Smile to the count of 25
* Learn one new word in a foreign language
The rule with me is that I go once through these cards every day. As I finish one task the card goes to the back of the pile and at the beginning of every day the one card (pick up the study) is at the top.
To make it fun and give you some sort of incentive/motivation you could have some of those little stars you could paste on each card as you finish the task or on the top one to show you’ve been through one day’s worth of stuff.
It takes 3 weeks to establish a good habit. With me I think it must take 3 months. But, these are things that I’d like to be doing more often. Maybe you’ve got something you’d like to be doing more too.
Friday, December 08, 2006
Well, I don’t charge for readings anymore. But, I will not ignore pleas for help. And, in the interest of a busy schedule I keep my replies pretty brief and rather to the point. So, when I tell somebody to go see a therapist I am NOT pussyfooting around.
It’s your decision whether you will eventually go or not. But, seeing a psychotherapist can only bring good things into your life no matter where you are in your travels.
Go get tuned up.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
It originally broke last March. It wasn’t until about three months ago, or so, that we got a new one put in. The only problem was that it would occasionally make a big KaBoom noise and if the light was dim enough you’d see a flash of light as a fire ball traveled up the length of the furnace. The first time it happened I was walking right beside it. I was so shocked that I crashed into the wall. Good thing I wasn’t holding a cup of coffee.
And, as things mechanical do, it wouldn’t do the KaBooming noise when our landlady or the furnace guy came to look at it. He came one Saturday last month and spent all day with it. I think what had happened was that the KaBoom was strong enough to blow out the pilot light. He got it lit again, but couldn’t figure out why we were having the mini explosion. My thought is that it was some sort of delayed ignition or something like that.
Plan B is that we will go find another furnace guy who can fix it.
Now, my other thought is with the premonition. Though I’m not thrilled that our furnace is not working (DeeDude got us another space heater from Costco, so I think we’re not going to freeze our patooies off), I was thrilled to have had advance warning about it. It was not a random thought. It was a real definite knowingness that it would happen. And, I was not alarmed about it. This, to me, is what being psychic is about. I’d like to have more things like that happening.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Right out of the box I reached for the instructions which didn’t turn out to be the right thing to do. The first thing it said was, “Connect your modem”. My question was, “To What?”. I read further in the instructions and it got into a bunch of fine print stuff that nobody ever reads (nor did I) and decided I’d better call them. No phone number. So, I went to my computer at the back of the house and via dial up, called up www.comcast.net looking for a telephone number. Nothing. Nada. Zip. They evidently don’t want to talk to you a whole lot. Lots of forums, but the pages were turning so slowly I didn’t want to spend all night trying to figure it out. So, I called 411 and got directory assistance, which also took an inordinately long time to answer the phone. Maybe they’ve been cutting back too.
So, phone number in hand I called up Comcast and was on hold while I took the time to look at all the other stuff in the box. There was this CD that said on the cover, “Feed this to your computer.” I looked at it some. I remembered what people had said that it was all a real no-brainer operation and decided to put the CD into DeeDude’s computer. That’s where the REAL instructions were. So, with pictures and real simple and easy to understand steps it walked us through the hook up process. And, it was pretty easy.
Except, it didn’t work. So, I called Comcast again and this time stayed on the line long enough to talk to a really nice guy who took all of 2 minutes to fix us up. He had to do something technical from his end.
Then, the next step was to get all the computers in the house working. We have the 2 desktops and a wireless laptop. So, I unhooked the modem from DeeDude’s computer and hooked it up to the Linksys router. Then, I hooked the router up to DeeDude’s computer. Mine was still hooked up. Nothing worked. So, I called Linksys and while I waited on the phone did as the taped message suggested and went online to their website. I had to unhook the router and put the modem back on DeeDude’s computer to do this, but once I was there we downloaded some quick hook-me up no-brainer program that, once I’d unhooked the modem and we no longer had internet access, was able to still run and tell us what to do. Step by easy step.
I still wanted a cigarette and a rum and coke….but, not as bad as before.
Finally, the 2 desktops worked and it was time for DeeDude to get his laptop working. I have absolutely no experience with laptops other than I don’t want to use one (I don’t like how the keyboards are laid out or the way the mouse works. Plus, there is the fact that I don't have a lap.), so he took care of configuring that one. The Linksys security key was a gazillion letters and numbers long and you had to enter it 2 times and that was a little stressful, but at the end of it all 3 computers are working now. Very, very good.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
I'll be glad to start posting here more regularly again. I've missed it, and had even started a few entries only to scrap them once I'd let off steam. They weren't particularly interesting, even to me. Why bother? Also, it felt like energy I needed for my other stuff was being syphoned off into this whiney voice and I didn't want to spread that around. Sort of like having a cold and passing on germs, I guess.
We still don't have DSL. Poo on SBC/AT&T. Comcast modem is supposed to arrive tomorrow though the computers are not yet ready. I need to take a trip to Office Depot...maybe tonight after work.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Actually, years ago the best stuff I found to listen to while I was working on “the Stone” which was my murder mystery, swash buckling, horror, romance, three hanky tear jerker novel presently under my bed, was a subliminal tape designed to get a person to lose weight. I didn’t lose any weight then, but it surely did jump start my creative batteries. I never really understood how that worked. All I know is it did.
Anyway, word count is at 15,833 this morning. I’m about 5,000 in the hole as far as what I’d wanted to do and found that to be slightly discouraging for awhile. However, I’m working at it most every day. And, although I’m only getting between 500 and 800 out at any one sitting it’s more than nothing. I’m finding that I need to rethink what I consider to be “good work” and what I consider to be “slacker performance”. It will all come together in the end. It’s good training for me and I think I would like to continue this mode of writing and channeling for a good long while after the end of November rolls up.
If you think about it, if a person were to just write 500 words every day. Every single day to take half and hour to 45 minutes to write at the end of a year they’d have more than 180,000 words. That’s pretty decent.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
So far, I’ve got two categories to separate folks into. I’m thinking on the others I want to create. Which sort of moves me into that area of, “Maybe I need to make another blog?” God, what have I unleashed? Well, other people have lots of blogs. I’ve got 3 of them already. I’ve got a lot of interests. I’m thinking beading blog…I’m thinking cooking blog…(Maybe after I’ve lost weight)…and, maybe a weight loss blog. Who wants to read about a fat psychic? Anyway, I’m sort of busy this month with the NaNoWriMo stuff (14,621 words this morning).
Then, an Airedale terrier lay on the bed and stretched. I rubbed him. And, another dog was within reach. I reached up to pet a cat sitting on a window sill away from the dogs. There were kids all over the place. The mother stood at the kitchen sink and as the two husbands came in the door I thought to myself how young they all looked. The one husband went to kiss his wife and I noticed that his hair was different, shorn on the one side and curly dark locks on the other. I thought how things had changed in the military. And, she said announcing to all that if we got up then and got ready to leave we’d be in East Oookem by noon. There was another place name that she said. This was a British place and British place names. I wonder if there is an Oookem? I was thinking that I was to be included with the group leaving.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Friday, November 17, 2006
That's one of the major benefits of channeling. You have the opportunity to do your own work and have somebody help you with it too. It's why I wanted to do this in the first place. I didn't want to be hieing myself off to psychotherapist and psychic alternately paying out the big bucks for the rest of my life. Do it yourself...that's my motto. Some guide just made a crack about learning dentistry. I do draw the line, bud.
Anyway, upbeat this morning and need to go get ready to go to work.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Well, I could let everybody know how the boil on my back is coming along. It is healing, but it sure looks gross. To point out what a very loving and attentive husband DeeDude is he did not even recoil in horror when I’ve asked him every day to tell me how it is doing. If it is appropriate (he uses his judgment because I can’t see the damn thing) he works at squeezing the pus out of it. Now, isn’t that gross? It does hurt like hell. But, I cannot stand the thought of having this thing on my back. It’s like an alien has imbedded itself under my skin (a channeling funny for you, somebody just said, “Watch out.” ….LOL) to grow and be something that swallowed Cincinnati.
I read on the internet today all sorts of cautionary notes about squeezing boils, except, it’s not hard anymore because I have been using hot, moist compresses a lot and I think the antibiotics are working. It eventually melts. I fully expect this sucker to be healed by the end of next week. I hope it doesn’t go any longer than that.
The bummer about this is folks with diabetes are prone to getting boils. My first experience was many years ago maybe a year or so before I was officially diagnosed with diabetes. They kept saying, “Use antibacterial soap, quit wearing tight clothes, use wet, hot compresses.” And, that year I must have had 10 of them. I was so miserable. It was horrid. I stopped calling the doctor about them. They never did give me any antibiotics. I should have been more forceful. Note to anybody with a boil: Do not pick at it unless you plan to totally disregard what wiser heads have to advise about them. A totally mind blowing cautionary note I read this morning about them were about boils on your face. Pick at them and you tempt brain damage. What? What? Okay, it’s on my back. It’s not on my face.
But, I don’t feel very good. And, the momentum to write serious stuff, stuff for my project at NaNoWriMo is just not there. So, I’m blogging instead. At least that’s sort of useful.
Friday, November 10, 2006
I don’t know if he still does this, but there was a time when Stephen King would write every single day of the year except for Christmas, his birthday and the Fourth of July. If ever I wanted to have an idol it would be him. I love the way he writes. I love that he kept trying even after he’d gotten rejection after rejection. I love that he came from humble circumstances. He’s an ordinary guy. He’s done an extraordinary thing.
He scares the crap out of me, but he is also the reason why I am a channel now. I OD’d once on his novels. And, after that the weird psychic stuff started happening. And, here I am today.
But, if you need somebody to help you over the rough spots in your own path of creativity pick somebody who is working in the field of your heart’s desire and pattern your own work or the way you work after them. And, if he can show up every day to work, so can I.
NaNoWriMo word count this morning is 9,988, still real close to my goal of 1,000 words a day.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
I have found that I just can’t sit here and write the way I used to which was a credible 4,000 words a day. I wasn’t working in those days. Interestingly, I devoted a month to working Tony Robbins Personal Power Program once and took that 4,000 words a day up to 20,000 words a day. A day. It was all journal work. But, it was pretty incredible. I just wanted to see if I could do it. I could. But, that was years ago. It was also interesting how doing the exercises in that course ended up pushing a lot of my buttons. It was painful, but ended up being the best thing I could do. I was propelled into a lot of inner growth and inner emotional healing. But, that’s okay. Now I know how to do it.
Though, writing and channeling are intertwined, they are two different things. I’m actually more comfortable sitting here and writing this than I am with channeling. I wait upon my guides to say something with the channeling and try to put a sock in my mouth while they say it. Sort of. It’s difficult to stay out of their way with what they say. Sometimes, if what they are saying makes me edgy I’ll lose track of what they are saying just because I’m nervous or anxious about it. Not that they say weird things like the world is going to end or anything like that. What happened this morning to sort of wind up our session was they started saying nasty comments about critics. Excuse me? What? That just busted the whole thing up. Now, did they do that on purpose to make me take a break or did they really intend to say it? I’ve left it in the piece. Maybe later as I go back during the editing process where I find all the rampant spelling mistakes I usually make when I’m channeling with my eyes closed they’ll be amenable to changing what they said.
I don’t know.
It was weird.
Maybe I’m tired. I can lay down for half an hour before I need to get ready to go to work. This is hard for an old lady like me.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Saturday, November 04, 2006
I did some Tai Chi this morning hoping that will gently bring it all back into some sort of order. If things haven’t improved in a couple of weeks I’m going to ask for a referral to physical therapy and see if they can’t recommend a few exercises for me to do so that my back doesn’t hurt so much.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
We hadn’t planned on having anything to hand out tonight for Halloween. Last year we got a boat load of candy and nobody came. Likely, we won’t have anyone come tonight either seeing as how Oakland just made national news as the 8th most violent city in the US. On the heels of that announcement yesterday the cops exploded a pipe bomb in Montclair, one of the nicer areas of the city. Nobody was hurt.
Anyway, I started having second thoughts about not having anything to hand out for Halloween. As a kid it was one of the high points of the year. You spent a long time on your costume and got to come home with lots to eat. It was terrific. Even if we turn the lights off folks might make the trek upstairs and that is dangerous in the dark. I asked DeeDude to pick up some peanut butter crackers and we can give those out if anybody comes. If not he and I can still eat them as snacks afterwards.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
I had a stone some time ago and it was pure agony. I don’t want to go through that again. If I even get a hint that something like that is going on I will begin drinking large amounts of water. Actually, I should be drinking 12 glasses of water every day anyway and not wait for the threat of a stone to rise up.
I know when to go to the doctor and it wasn’t time yet. Also, I was feeling better by the end of the week when the nurse finally got in touch with me. I wasn’t in the best of moods when she tried to tell me that my record said I’d not had a stone before. Officially, I’m lying?
I said to the lady, “I was in the most excruciating pain I’ve ever felt. The pain in my back moved from the back to the front. I couldn’t stand up straight and I had to keep pacing while I was waiting to see a doctor. Then, later once I got home, while I drank water like nobody’s business I couldn’t pee. The pain was horrible when the stone passed and afterward I peed like Niagra Falls. And, that’s when there was absolutely no pain.” She said, “It sounds like you had a stone.” But, her voice was doubtful. She told me the urine test they’d performed indicated there was no stone and my record didn’t indicate whether I had an ultra-sound or something else she said that I can’t remember now. I said, “I was in too much pain and I don’t remember what sort of procedure it was.” What I didn’t say was, “Why wasn’t whatever procedure I had noted in my record?”
She said I could come in for a 24 hour pee test. I don’t even want to know what that is. I told her no thanks and I feel better now. Good thing I’ve still got the Tylenol with codeine that they gave me the last time I had a stone. I know what to do and it doesn’t include going to see the doctor if all they are going to do is tell me to drink water. At least not this time.
Anyway, these are the things I’ve learned researching places on the internet about kidney stones.
- There are 4 different kinds of stones. Best way to determine which kind you have is to pee through a sieve or cheesecloth. Great. The doctor needs to know what kind of stone you’ve got in order to proscribe a good treatment….like change in your diet or drugs.
- One kind of a stone is calcium, but the 1,000 mg of calcium I take at night shouldn’t contribute to a stone forming. You’ve got to be taking something like 2,500 mg a day of calcium before you should be concerned.
- Once you have a stone the likelihood of you having another is greater.
- Being diabetic I might be prone to kidney stones.
- Drinking half a cup of lemon juice a day will help lots. Mix it with water and sugar-free sweetener to make lemonade.
- Drink 12 glasses of water (lemonade counts too). Soda containing caffeine, coffee and tea do not count toward the water requirement. They act as diuretics.
- If you can’t flush the damned thing(s) with water you will need to visit the doctor. They have different procedures and I have not really investigated them much. I did hear tell of some sort of sonic blasting to break down the stone so you can pass it in smaller pieces.
- But, best not to let the suckers form in the first place. I’m going to go the lemon juice route. I bought a big old bottle yesterday.
However, one of the things I’d noticed lately that did not work the way I always would like them to are my eyes. Turns out I’ve got outward facing eyes. They don’t focus the way they used to and I have to do exercises every day to strengthen them and, hopefully, straighten them out. I hold a pen, business end up, in front of me at arm’s length. I focus on the tip of the pen and slowly, while I’m looking at it and trying to keep the thing in focus bring it forward. Then, I move it back. That’s all.
But, my eyes, even with the new prisms I’ve got in my lenses still wig out when I’m tired. Everything I’m reading goes double, blurry and the letters just won’t stay still. It drives me nuts. It’s especially irritating at work where I deal with numbers all day long.
So, I’ve fixed my computer so that my “window” is a very light shade of pink rather than white like it normally is. How to do this for anybody with a Windows operating system is from your desktop right click in a clear area. What unfolds is a menu. Go to the bottom of it where it says, “Properties”.
Go to the fourth tab over which is, “Appearance”. From there click on the button at the bottom of that area called, “Advanced”. Then actually click on the area of your sample displayed screen to select that element. For me, to change the color of the paper in Word, I click on the larger window area.
The little drop down now displays the element to change which is: window. White (by default) is the color displayed and where you want to change it is to click on the little drop down arrow next to the displayed color. You get a minor sized collection of colors. Pick one of them if they thrill you….or, go to the word, “more” and have a ball picking out the absolutely best, most perfect, fantastic color and shade (using the slider at the side of the screen) you want. Hey, you could even color coordinate your outfit or your décor if you wanted to.
I remember the first time I found out about this I changed the color of every element I saw. Hours later after I’d screwed it all up I discovered that there were preset themes already there. Eventually, I reset it all to Windows Standard. But, now I need pink. I think it’s easier on my eyes.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
I saw somebody post something in their blog the other day to the effect that they had deleted what they considered to be questionable material from their blog. They washed their hands of it and walked away with soul cleansed. I didn’t say anything. If they think it’s gone I wasn’t going to burst their bubble. Right then.
I will now. I’ve had more people do searches and come up with this blog at its old address at blogspot. And, that’s as far as it goes. I can’t get anybody at Blogger to help me out on this because they are all concerned with rolling out the new Beta Blogger. Finally, I just let it go. If they’re supposed to come see me at the new url http://www.thespiritmovedme.com/ then, they will.
The other thing that set me to thinking along these lines was reading a young person’s blog where they were complaining about adults who can’t remember what it was like to be a child. Well, yeah. That’s not so bad. Except, I remember what I used to write in my diary when I was 16 years old and there’s no way in Hell I would ever want that stuff to be read by anybody now. Hey, even back then I used to hide my diary under my mattress so my brothers wouldn’t find it.
Friday, October 27, 2006
I wanted an apple. But, not just any apple. See, I’m on a diet and I have these horrible cravings that just don’t stop for Hostess Apple Pies, for Pop Tarts, for Almond Joys. You name it and I’ve been craving it. I made the comment not so long ago that it’s like being an alcoholic. The problem is I just can’t stop eating. Anyway, that’s neither here nor there. What happened next was a guided concoction to keep me happy. And, it’s good. I call it:
Angelic Apple Salad
Cut an apple into chunks. Leave the skin on or not, however you prefer. Sprinkle in a little bit of coconut and a few nuts. Mix 1 teaspoon mayonnaise, 1 scant teaspoon honey and 1 teaspoon of Maruken Rice Vinegar (the kind in the orange bottle) and mix about half of it over the apple. That’s it. What could be simpler?
If you wait for the perfect moment in time to begin a particular task many times the task will never get done. This is where having lists comes in handy. For instance, you have a job and that job requires you to be at work on time, to work 8 hours and to perform specific tasks while you are there. The incentive is that you get a paycheck. An added benefit might be that you feel creatively challenged while you are there, but we understand sometimes that this is not always the case. The major point of this particular treatise upon working habits is to illustrate the importance of the idea that you show up and commit to work.
With a task that does not come under the heading of work, something that you do for no pay or obvious remuneration, the task of creating a body of work is harder. Something substantial in the form of worthwhile channeling in exchange for a numb butt, a sore shoulder and an imminent case of carpel tunnel syndrome is not what we would classify as worthwhile remuneration, however, when the channel is sufficiently greased, not in the sense anymore of having imbibed in several alcoholic drinks as was once the case, but relaxed and willing to channel, some glimmer of hope or help might come through for someone reading the work.
It’s all in how you look at it.
We do not seek to chastise, but to explain the process. If you sit, with your hands upon the keyboard, with your ear phones on effectively blocking out noise and activity from around you, ready to channel, we will certainly oblige. The quality of what you channel is another matter.
It is difficult to shout over the noise of a tremendous storm. However you seek it, plan on solitude, plan on peace, plan on quiet in your mind. Practicing these attitudes on a more than frequent basis in the midst of your ordinary activities will certainly spill over into the times when you sit waiting for channeling to ensue. Our blessings.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
I also bought some henna for my hair. I need to do the special gray advanced version which is to use coffee instead of water and add a couple of teaspoons of vinegar to the whole thing. My trip tomorrow after work will be to purchase some plastic gloves, a paint brush and maybe a heat cap. Depends on what they look like and how expensive they are. Anyway, my gray hair isn’t real interesting yet and until it is I’ll probably be coloring it for awhile. What is irritating is the huge white splotch on the top of my head that from across the street looks exactly like a pigeon hit me…right on top…ugh.
Still working slowly on, “Loving What Is”. So slowly, in fact, that I bought the book. This is going to take awhile. Already, though, I felt a huge shift in how I feel about the twit downstairs. That’s been a heavy, huge pain that I’ve been feeling for awhile now. The guides said he was afraid of my anger. Well, that sort of took me aback. Twit. Anyway, I felt it shift. I still am not talking to him (actually, I haven’t seen him much), but if I could let go of the pain and anger maybe I could concentrate on more fun things. This is the first time since I got mad at him last March that I’ve felt any easing of this situation. Anyway, this is one of those BOOKS that I think can do a whole lot to change the quality of my life. I’m almost looking forward to it.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Now, the first thing to do is to read a very short piece, a prayer or supplication of sorts to your Higher Power; God, Goddess or whoever that might be.
Help me to let go of the anger I’ve been feeling. Help me to, once again, reconnect and have a better understanding of me. My anger is masking something else and I don’t know what it is. Help me to understand. Help me to allow the assholes in my life to be the happy assholes they want to be. I can’t change them. Help me to understand that. Help me to stop attracting these people into my life. I swear I’ve learned enough.
I’m sorry…start over? Well, we were going to wait until you were done. Do you really want to let go of your anger? No, I don’t. It makes me happy. We think it makes you sad. You’re crying right now. This is why I’m a mean secretary. Right? Right. This hurts. Yes, I know.
I’m so afraid. I’m 51 years old. I guess I like people when they start being about 27 years old. You don’t like your managers. Well, you have a point there. I was making a pretty long shit list yesterday.
I had a dream last night that we were in terrible financial trouble. DeeDude was afraid. He’s never afraid. When he does get afraid then I know it’s deep doodoo. I was strong in the dream. I told him it would be okay even when I knew it would be hard. We’ve done this before.
I’m just constantly worried. I’m constantly in pain. I’m constantly in a horrible mood. It’s been awhile since I was just happy.
On the plus side, I’m losing weight. Slowly. But, I’m losing weight. At this rate I’ll fit into a normal sized coffin when I die.
You are in a bad mood.
You couldn’t tell?
You know what your mother would say, don’t you? No. She’d take you in her arms and tell you it was okay. She’d just hold you. No matter how old you are you will always be her daughter. And, even though she has passed she will always be your mother.
Should we work on this meditation another time? No, we can continue on with it if you like. I’m sorry. About what? What in the world do you need to be sorry about? Because I’m a shitty channel. I don’t see that you are. I can’t concentrate. Well, be quiet.
When you are in a deep and dark hole and it seems hopeless that you could ever climb out of it, it is important to remember that you can climb. Find or make the hand holds and foot steps that you need. If you cannot imagine yourself climbing out of the hole imagine that you are hewing steps that circle it bringing you ever closer to the surface with each time you go around. As you set your foot a step appears for you to put it.
Part of this is to believe or to pretend that you are where you are supposed to be and if that place is to climb out of a hole of depression, then, fighting it is harder than doing something about it. Granted, there are still issues that you will have the opportunity to address, but we would say that, for now, it is not as bad as you think.
So, imagine that you are climbing out of your hole. Imagine, if you need it, a hand rail that holds you closer to the wall as you circle around and around. Look up occasionally to see the light at the top of the hole. Imagine that as you get nearer to the surface you are hearing sounds from outside. Those are birds. Bird song such as you might hear first thing in the morning before anybody else is up. Birds in the trees outside welcoming the day and calling to each other. You hear this bird song as you come closer to the surface.
Now, you can smell the morning air. It smells different than the night smells. It is the smell of vegetation opening to the sun. It is the smell of freshness. It is the smell of new. It is the smell of a brand new day. Hope. Springs. Eternal.
As you rise above the surface of your hole you see a flat plain before you. There are no houses. There are a few trees. You are quite alone. The grass glistens in the morning light with the dew of the night clinging still. The light silvers it. You set one foot into the grass. You set your other foot there too. You walk away from the hole in the ground. There is a tree nearby and you walk toward it. In the tree is the bird you heard. The bird sings still and is not alarmed by your approach. You do not feel like an intruder. You feel, instead, as if you belong here.
At the base of the tree are some flowers. These are tiny little flowers, just poking up through the earth; crocuses, yellow ones and purple ones. You put your hand out to steady yourself on the tree. You can feel the bark of this tree under your hand. Steady. Solid.
Now, you hear a chittering. Talking. Gopher talk. Prairie dog talk. You look over your shoulder and you see a small prairie dog sitting upright looking at you. He is talking to the birds about you. He is talking to you. You don’t understand what he is saying, but you smile.
And, then you can feel the warmth of the sun as it dapples through the leaves of the tree on you.
There is no need to move. There is no need to hurry.
Thanks. Are we done yet? Do you want us to be done? I’m feeling a lot better now. It is a step.
Anyway, if anybody wants to see me kicking the walls go to The Psychic Vents.
On the flip side (which means there is a positive side to this) I now have the opportunity to try out the new Blogger Beta program with the new blog. It’s interesting, so far. I do like the idea of being able to categorize stuff, but I’m wondering how much flexibility is available to add extra code to a template…like my stat counter. Maybe when I’ve cooled down I’ll look into it.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
1. Is it true?2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?3. How do you react when you believe that thought?4. Who would you be without the thought?
That’s it. It’s called The Work. I’m still on the first chapter. I’m encouraged. It’s going to be my recommendation of the month for my newsletter once I’m done with it. I can tell. This is a keeper.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
I’d heard about NaNoWriMo 2 years ago. I forgot about it last year until it was too late. But, day before yesterday I stumbled upon somebody who was going to participate this year. Me too. And, last night I signed up.
I’m not a schooled writer, other than making my way through high school and a year of college where I partied until I flunked out. But, I love writing. I love reading. The grammar I know is by the seat of my pants, which means I know some of the basic rules, but other than that it is by ear. Mostly, I break a lot of rules. I used to worry about it. Now, I don’t. Not much anyway.
So, as I lay in bed last night thinking about what to write about (always the hardest thing in the world for me to decide upon) my guide Seth suggested that I channel a book. I got this thrill of delight that shot up my spine. I knew from the sensation that was the perfect answer. I’d love to write a novel, but a channeled book would be more appropriate at this time. Right away I thought, “Oh, no. I couldn’t. That’s not writing. That’s channeling.” But, one of the things about channeling is you need the skills of writing to do it. And, though I could sit here and channel it takes a tremendous determination to let go for long enough for the guides to get the material out. Especially when the channel ain’t willing to sit still long enough to get anything productive done.
So, this would be the commitment I make to myself and to them. That I will sit still and channel here at the keyboard for the 3 pages a day during the month of November that it takes to create a work that is 50,000 words long. That’ll be a decent book, I think. And, seeing as how I’ve got another one sitting in the wings waiting to be finished up -- well, that’s just icing on the cake.
The book under the bed that took me 3 years to write on my own is about 175,000 words. I remember how I gauged how long it should be. I picked up a paperback book and said, “That’s the size of book I want to write.” Then, I counted the number of words there were in a sampling of lines in the book and averaged them. Then, I did the same with a number of the pages. That’s how I knew how many words to write.
Then, I did what I’ve since learned is called the snowflake method. My version of it was that I started with the kernel of my story. Then, I wrote a paragraph. Then, I expanded that paragraph. I kept expanding until I had 10 paragraphs. Those became my chapters. And, interestingly enough, they stayed that way throughout the course of writing the book.
So, I see that I’ve come to the end of my page. And, that would be a total of 619 words so far.
What I need to do now is to crank up the olde channeling muscles and start getting used to sitting still for heavy duty channeling again. It won’t be for the book, but just channeling in general which can be either for the blog or for private papers. Just to get me in shape for next month.
As time goes on I might decide to have a different blog just for the book. That might be helpful. I’m getting a “thumb’s up” from the guides, so I’ll mull that over this morning. Also, a title. Need to come up with that too. Could always change it as time goes by, but I’ll want something to call it for now.
Friday, October 13, 2006
The other thing that is going on is that my biorhythms have hit rock bottom. Totally, definitely, without a doubt, flat-out rock bottom. Presumably, this only happens about twice in a person’s lifetime. Guess what. I’m really going to be chicken today.
Luckily, it is Friday. Generally my mood on Friday’s is pretty good seeing as how I’ve got the next 2 days off and can sleep in, take naps and do whatever I feel like doing over the weekend. I like that.
Good luck to everybody. Though we are not superstitious it still doesn’t hurt to err on the side of caution at times. Don’t open up any strange emails today either.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
So, now I surf again.
And, though I was hoping for something along the lines of inspiration to turn into something I could write about it never came.
What did occur to me though was how interesting the internet is for people who don’t get out much. Like me. I feel like I am connected with a great many people. Though I don’t actually get out there and meet and greet people I do read about their everyday doing’s. I can commiserate with somebody who just got home after a really long day at work. I can be frightened for somebody who spent the weekend in an emergency room. I can learn more in a nice gradual fashion about blogs and Google adsense and page ranking and things like that. I can laugh with somebody as they relate the dinner date they went on. It’s just really fascinating to me.
It’s a way to decompress. Thanks.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Saturday, October 07, 2006
That just popped into my head. I submitted it to The Poop Report, though it might be a tad too short to warrant being considered as a story.
Right now I’ve got a headache. My plans for the weekend have not yet taken off, nor do I see them doing much of anything in the foreseeable hour or so. More likely I will go take a couple of Tylenol and lay down for awhile. Sleep was weird last night. I awakened at 2:30, lay in bed for an hour and finally got up to read my email for awhile and surf a little bit. Then, at 5:30 I went back to bed. That’s probably why I have a headache.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
That’s when it changed. The paralyzing part was the same, but the buzziness aspect of it got more intense than I’ve ever felt it before. Then, I had a falling sensation which is also something I’ve not felt before.
Then, I’m seeing white. Totally white and I realized this was the same scene I saw the other day when I saw the two guys. The white is snow. I’m seeing a tiny little shack. Narrow, like an outhouse. It’s dark wood stark against the white snow. And, I see the tail end of a Ford Explorer driving away. I didn’t recognize the vehicle as a Ford Explorer, I just knew that’s what it was. All I could see of it was the back end and the bumper. It was dark, it might have been black.
Then, I felt the fear. Terrible, terrible fear. Then, I pull back into myself saying, “This is a psychic vision. There’s no reason you should be afraid.” And, I felt myself pulling back, the scene before me getting fainter and farther away. Then, I think about the fear I felt and have an urgency to tell somebody to leave. Leave quickly. Now, I don’t know what is going on and the vision is finished and I’m awake and back in my body.
I’ve never had a vision come to me two days in a row for the same thing.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
I thought it might bring some more people into the site. Then, I will work on my book. I promise. Today was Web Rings and Writers.
I’ve also been consciously relaxing. I felt it was important for me to do psychically. One of my problems is that I forget the stuff I’m seeing. When I come out of it I remember the highlights. So, today while watching Psychic Detectives one of the psychics said that she takes a tape recorder with her when she goes into trance and just talks into it. Smack me in the head real good. What a fantastic idea!
Anyway, I have this faint memory of watching 2 people doing something. Going somewhere. I just don’t remember. I do know it wasn’t ordinary day dreaming. It was some sort of psychic hit. But, I don’t remember. So, I need to work on that aspect of all of this.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
I was having a rather interesting conversation today with 2 people who don’t know that I channel. Anyway, here we are having this really interesting conversation about God and how God is perceived by folks of different religions. Somebody started talking about Hell and that’s when they started muttering things in my head. I almost choked when I tried to stop a laugh. You don’t want people to think you’re laughing at them. The conversation just rolled along smartly so I didn’t have to explain myself. But, it was funny and had I been around folks who know that I channel I would have relayed on the message that they were keeping a spot warm for them…Just like they do with me on occasion.
I know the guides are teasing. They’ve told me before the only Hell is the Hell people think they deserve to go to after they die. After being there for awhile somebody in Spirit comes to sort of wake the person up and gets them to realize it’s all Heaven after all. Don’t get me wrong. The Guides have said that everybody is held accountable for what they do in their lives and judgment is passed, but they figure that by the time you are back at source you’re also smart enough to figure stuff out mostly on your own. They’ve also said that you get to experience everything you ever did to anybody, including animals, fish and plant life, up close and personal. You, now, are on the receiving end. If I were a bad guy that would be enough for me to mend my evil ways. Anyway, that’s where you decide you need to work more on this, or that, or the other thing. To my way of thinking it’s an incentive to do good works in this lifetime. Also, to live your life to the fullest. Basic things. Don’t hurt others. Treat others as you’d like to be treated. One of the guides just said to me, “Not so many bad words anymore.” Okay, I’ll try.
Monday, September 25, 2006
I held off until this weekend to hook everything up. And, it was a mess. Lots of cables snaking all over the place. But, I eventually got it all sorted out. I went to turn on the computer and it was deader than a door nail. I hauled it out to the kitchen where we have another grounded plug and more room on the counter where I could take the whole thing apart and look at it. Deader than a door nail. I gave it the old whack. A light came on inside. I gave it several more whacks, but nothing else happened.
I pondered what to do. I could take it into my computer guy and spend $100 (at least) while he fixed it. Or, it might be the power supply. I looked online. They weren’t that expensive. But, it could also be the switch. Too complicated and getting more complicated by the minute.
Too bad. I had a lot of programs on that hard drive. And, it was a relatively big hard drive, too. Another light came on, this time in my head. Why not install the hard drive to use as a second hard drive in the computer I use all the time? Ah….so, I removed it and read about installing hard drives online. I need to get a split ribbon. I think. Otherwise, it ought to work. The master and slave arrangement is already set up. I would still want my present hard drive to be the controller, so that is the master. Anything I add in would be a slave by default, so I don’t have to fiddle with that stuff.
So, another project is launched.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
In honor of my 300th post at The Spirit Moved Me and Look What Happened I thought I'd post one of those Magic Eye pictures. This particular one comes from a Google search and the website is: http://iyi.yi.org/junoi/grafix/stereograms/index.html
They've got quite a few of them there. Why I'm particularly interested now is that my eyes need exercising and one of the exercises that was recommended as being useful was to refocus my eyes to see the "hidden" picture. Hopefully this will help me not to see double anymore. It's gotten to be a drag.
Saturday, September 23, 2006
I’ve now registered at the site and will henceforth be known as Psychic Pooper. Everybody selects a name that somehow reflects their interest in poopy matters. Some names that caught my eye were Bunga Din, The Dumpster, GottaGoGirl, PooperScooper, C Everett Poop, MasterCrapper, The Holy Shitter, Mega Dump, HairyPooter…it’s just hilarious. The stories are well written. Concerns people write in about are valid and many times are things you just can’t talk to other people about.
Anyway, one of these days after I’ve read a little more and learned the etiquette of the site I will probably write about how Jeannie and I created a masterfully authentic counterfeit turd and took it to school. We were in the 10th grade in Hagerstown, Maryland at St. Maria Goretti. We left it in a stall in the downstairs bathroom. This was between classes and the bathroom was crowded with girls. We left just as Sister Phyllis went into the stall where we had positioned the turd, stuck artfully on the seat and trailing down into the water. We were almost dying of laughter as we left. The only thing missing was an odor. As I recall it was mainly constructed of mashed potatoes. We’d added cocoa for color and some corn for visual effect.
And, now, she’s your psychic.
Well, will wonders never cease.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Maybe that’s a first step toward changing a bad habit.
Not actually doing anything drastic. Not actually making a commitment to lose weight, quit smoking or stop drinking. Just sort of noticing what you’re doing.
Notice the times you develop cravings to eat. Is it right after you’ve had a difficult conversation with somebody? Is it during a lull in activity? Is it right before a class or a meeting? When do you want to smoke? It’s like every 25 minutes, isn’t it? It’s when you can’t smoke. I remember I could not go to movies for years because that was where I could not smoke and it was almost a guarantee that I was going to be crazy for a cigarette. And, how about a drink? Can you go days between having one or do you need to have one every day?
I don’t think that’s too much to ask a person to do, just to notice something. It’s interesting that I already quit smoking and stopped drinking, so I know I can do it. Those were real hard to do. I developed (I hope) strength of character. I can’t quit eating, but I do need to become more conscious of what I eat. I need to make every bite count, so maybe I need to count every bite? Something like that. Just for now. Just to ease me into the idea that losing weight is a comfortable proposition.
My husband has lost 25 pounds in the last few months. He’s using Weight Watchers, which is a terrific system. He’s always asking how many points something is. “Okay, that’s only 3 points. I can have that.” He’s very, very aware of what the points are now. That’s all. There’s a system to figure out the points. We’ve got a couple of books. We’ve got a slide rule gizmo. We also signed up for Weight Watchers On-Line where they’ve got lots of foods already pointed out and you can even put your favorite recipes in to figure out what they’re going to be.
Maybe I should just swallow my resistance for a few months and lose some of this weight. I’ve managed to lose 10 pounds since January. It’s not a whole lot, but at least I don’t honk the horn anymore with my belly when I’m in the car. I think I can find something else to aspire to if I think about it.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Anyway, here’s the recipe for tonight.
Put into the bread machine for a 1 and a half pound loaf
2 tablespoons olive oil
3 tablespoons honey
1 teaspoon salt
Half a cup of milk, warmed for a minute in the microwave
Add a quarter of a cup of water
Half a cup of sourdough starter (I just help myself to the starter. It’s not much and I’ll feed it this weekend)
Swish this all together until the honey is mixed into the liquid.
Add 2 cups of all purpose flour
1 cup wheat flour
3 tablespoons of wheat bran flakes (not wheat germ, though that would probably be good)
Add 2 teaspoons of dry yeast to the top of the pile.
Start your dough machine or plunge in up to your elbows if you’re not using a machine. As with kneading by hand you will want to monitor the progress of the knead. You might need to add a little bit of water tablespoon by tablespoon, or it might go the other way and you’ll need to add a little more flour. Knead for 10 to 15 minutes by hand until the surface of the dough is smooth, put it into an oiled bowl and cover with a towel (or just walk away for awhile if you’re using the machine). I think it rises about 45 minutes for the first rise just until it is doubled in size. Punch it down and remove from the bread machine. You’ll probably need a sprinkle of flour across your counter so it won’t stick to everything. Knead it a little bit and form into a loaf. You can get creative and braid it if you feel like it. Scatter a little bit of corn meal into the bottom of a loaf pan.
I fired up the oven just enough to take the edge off and heat it up a little tiny bit about 4 or 5 minutes if that. Then, I turned the oven off, put a kitchen towel over the pan and set it into the oven to rise the rest of the way. I suppose I could have left it all out on the counter to rise, but it’s not that warm there. Better to rise in the oven. About 45 minutes. I spritzed some water onto the floor of the oven to make it just a wee bit humid. It’s the water I have to squirt at the cats when Fluffy Drawers has gone across the divide between the houses to bedevil poor little Sheba on Phil’s patio. Or, you could always mist your plants with it too.
The plan is that after 45 minutes if it has risen enough I’ll fire up the oven to about 350 degrees and bake it 40 minutes. I’ve tried this twice before and the oven was too hot and the time in it was too long, so, I’m figuring this time it ought to be okay. If I do anything different I’ll adjust this recipe. And, if Blogger will finally cooperate and act right I'll be able to upload a picture. For whatever reason I have not had a whole lot of success uploading pictures to this blog lately. More often than not it won't work at all. Every once in a while it does. I guess you can say, "What do you want for free anyway?"
I began experimenting with my recipes when it happened that my loaves were coming out all wonky. I didn’t know if it was the yeast or the other ingredients. Now, I believe that it just wasn’t rising enough for all the “extra” stuff I have been adding to the loaves. This particular loaf, in lieu of a picture, came out pretty dark.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Sunday, September 17, 2006
The only thing I would very much like to do about this blog is to center it on the screen. If anybody knows how to do that, would you let me know? I have a feeling I’d need to alter some of the jpg’s involved, which might present a problem. I don’t know. Anyway, for now, it’s a change and, I hope, a good one.