I'm Just Thinking

I’m reading, “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. It’s a small book. It packs a wallop. I recommend this book. It’s making me ask questions left and right.

Bear with me…I’m just thinking aloud.

For many years I’ve been interested in being closer to what I, in the past, called God, and in more recent years have begun to think of as other things in addition to God. This has had a number of names for me and I recognize that there is still, even now, a fluidity with just what that is.

God, Now, Us, Enlightenment, Ascension, Heaven. I don’t know. It’s something different, though.

I can’t think that I’m any different than anybody else. I think of people I’ve come across who talk of being enlightened. What does that mean? For me, I think it means that I would no longer be concerned with many of the things that concern me now, which would actually be a relief. Pain, worry, stress, anger…all that to wash away. How very cool and gee, I wish I could go there.

Love. The guides talk about love all the time. They say it is the glue that binds the universe together. They say there is truth in the saying that love does conquer all, that love makes the world go round. Stuff like that.

What’s interesting to me is that every once in awhile the realization of something bigger than myself, something beyond the boundaries of ordinary life and what makes up my usual reality blasts upon me. It’s sudden. It’s almost overwhelming. Sometimes it feels so good it hurts and I cry, which is a sight because it happens mostly on my way to or from work in the car. Driving along MacArthur Blvd with tears streaming down my face. I hope nobody can see. It’s not like I’m picking my nose. Sometimes I wonder if it is just a stage of menopause. Maybe I just ovulated. Maybe I’m tired. Maybe I’m vulnerable. Maybe I just caught a glimpse of Heaven.

Mostly, I think we’re already saved no matter what we are doing. It’s not like we’ve got to jump on anybody else’s bandwagon or religion in order to make it to Heaven. It’s not a race. It’s a journey. You go fast. You go slow. Who cares? One of the guides just said it’s like a dance, too: one step forward and two steps back.

I guess if you want to learn from your mistakes you make an effort to do that. Otherwise you spend 15 lifetimes doing the same stuff over and over again. Can you imagine? Being a victim to somebody else’s rage over and over again? If that was me I wouldn’t like that. I’d prefer to be in a place where I’m happy.

Now, that brings up something to think about too. If you are blessed with enlightenment does that also mean you are automatically happy? Or is being happy like being sad where it’s not really real like what they say in, “A Course in Miracles”? Maybe a sort of medium feeling is what would be best? And, that brings up another point: What is best anyway? Maybe there is no best. Maybe there is different. Maybe there is variety, but good or bad doesn’t mean a whole lot.

Sheesh, it’s like walking straddling a chasm and I’m only on page 10.