Saturday, November 13, 2004
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Ugh
Once upon a time I was in the mode of learning something new each week. I think that's pretty much gone by the wayside, unless you count last night when I actually had a pretty good sense of having felt and played with my aura. I'd described the procedures to Thayer that afternoon and since it had been awhile since I'd done it I tried it out myself. It had actually been awhile and being as how I did TWO channeled readings yesterday, I thought to celebrate in a New Age sort of way. Played with my aura. And, it was pretty cool. I tried an experiment with it too and I blew between the palms of my hands as they hovered palm to palm about an inch or so apart. Just to see if I could blow the aura out of the way. All it did was distract me and I lost the sense of feeling. Couldn't much get it back again. At the time I was half watching Atilla the Hun. Damn 4 hour movie. If I'd known at 8:00 pm it was going to last that long I would never have started watching it...but, in for a penny in for a pound sort of thing and I stuck it out. Anyway, I'm glad I watched it even though it was so long.
I started diabetes medicine yesterday...glucophage 500 mg a day. Hopefully, that'll stop whatever started spiraling out of control a few months ago. I have noticed an almost insatiable appetite. I'll eat and be hungry 10 minutes later. It's very strange. And, not good for a fat person. Also, I get extremely tired. There were two times last week while I was testing my glucose readings when I hit 228 in the evening and those evenings I couldn't stay up past 7:30 pm. Didn't do my orders those nights and just collapsed into bed unable to do anything else. Scary. Also, I'd hit tired spots about mid afternoon at work -- yawning like crazy. Hey, I'm not bored...yawn. And, the last unusual thing I noticed was that I could fire up a temper so quickly you wouldn't believe it. Not moody or sad like happens a week before my period. Just hugely angry at stuff. Minor stuff. I came to be aware of hte readings only because I had a doctor's appointment scheduled on Friday. Since there wasn't any lab work scheduled I figured I'd best get some readings together for my doctor to look at. He didn't get all wired about it, but he did say as he looked at them, "Now, I know what to do." He gave me the choice of diabetes medicine or cholesterol medicine. He said my cholesterol was low and on the good side my bad cholesterol was nice and low, but that goes hand in hand with diabetes stuff. They both tend to feed on each other. Swell.
He's been after me for years to lower my weight and get more active. I've got a head thing about both. This is a woman who threw up on a pretty regular basis for over 20 years and nobody knew anything about it. This is a woman who depended on that bulimia to keep her svelte. All I can say is bulimia ranks up there real high on the effective weight control measures. Because once I stopped that? And, when I stopped smoking and drinking? Blammo. Blimpo.
Anyway, he was real civilized about it and said that I'd kept it under control for 3 years and he'd been pleased with it, but now it was time to take another step. I sat there thinking this man is so kind to me who has failed miserably. But, I had to fail. Had to. Losing the weight...becoming svelte again? That's the scary thing. Being taken seriously because I look hot? Nobody looks twice at a fat person. They just don't. Fat people don't have to do things other people enjoy. Oh, well, this is definitely stuff for the Private Journal.
I have the sense that I need to hurry up and do some more work. If I'm not going to get another book published I need to spend time on the website. There needs to be a body of work up there that can stand and help people for a long time to come. I know in my heart this is good stuff for people to hear. It can help them to be happier; it can help them to have hope more easily. It helped me. Even though I'm not "fixed" completely, nor will I ever be, I suppose. But, I'm better. And, from the reactions I've had from some of the readers the things the guides say help them too. So, I need to be healthier. I need to become more productive and sit still long enough for the guides to channel stuff...or, me to channel for them. As long as I've done this I still don't get the lingo right sometimes.
I started diabetes medicine yesterday...glucophage 500 mg a day. Hopefully, that'll stop whatever started spiraling out of control a few months ago. I have noticed an almost insatiable appetite. I'll eat and be hungry 10 minutes later. It's very strange. And, not good for a fat person. Also, I get extremely tired. There were two times last week while I was testing my glucose readings when I hit 228 in the evening and those evenings I couldn't stay up past 7:30 pm. Didn't do my orders those nights and just collapsed into bed unable to do anything else. Scary. Also, I'd hit tired spots about mid afternoon at work -- yawning like crazy. Hey, I'm not bored...yawn. And, the last unusual thing I noticed was that I could fire up a temper so quickly you wouldn't believe it. Not moody or sad like happens a week before my period. Just hugely angry at stuff. Minor stuff. I came to be aware of hte readings only because I had a doctor's appointment scheduled on Friday. Since there wasn't any lab work scheduled I figured I'd best get some readings together for my doctor to look at. He didn't get all wired about it, but he did say as he looked at them, "Now, I know what to do." He gave me the choice of diabetes medicine or cholesterol medicine. He said my cholesterol was low and on the good side my bad cholesterol was nice and low, but that goes hand in hand with diabetes stuff. They both tend to feed on each other. Swell.
He's been after me for years to lower my weight and get more active. I've got a head thing about both. This is a woman who threw up on a pretty regular basis for over 20 years and nobody knew anything about it. This is a woman who depended on that bulimia to keep her svelte. All I can say is bulimia ranks up there real high on the effective weight control measures. Because once I stopped that? And, when I stopped smoking and drinking? Blammo. Blimpo.
Anyway, he was real civilized about it and said that I'd kept it under control for 3 years and he'd been pleased with it, but now it was time to take another step. I sat there thinking this man is so kind to me who has failed miserably. But, I had to fail. Had to. Losing the weight...becoming svelte again? That's the scary thing. Being taken seriously because I look hot? Nobody looks twice at a fat person. They just don't. Fat people don't have to do things other people enjoy. Oh, well, this is definitely stuff for the Private Journal.
I have the sense that I need to hurry up and do some more work. If I'm not going to get another book published I need to spend time on the website. There needs to be a body of work up there that can stand and help people for a long time to come. I know in my heart this is good stuff for people to hear. It can help them to be happier; it can help them to have hope more easily. It helped me. Even though I'm not "fixed" completely, nor will I ever be, I suppose. But, I'm better. And, from the reactions I've had from some of the readers the things the guides say help them too. So, I need to be healthier. I need to become more productive and sit still long enough for the guides to channel stuff...or, me to channel for them. As long as I've done this I still don't get the lingo right sometimes.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
A Standup Sort of Person
Just a few minutes before I need to head off to work. It's cold now. Hot the last time I wrote and we were very worried about fires and now, it's cold. Had a pretty intense rain storm over the weekend, but it didn't last that long.
Am reading Nicholas Spark's now, "The Rescue" I just finished another by him, "Nights in Rodanthe". Very good writer. I enjoy his stories. I purchased Barbara Moss' "Fierce" over the weekend and will read it soon.
Dennis and Eric's book will soon be out. We hope. He got an advance copy and has been showing it around. "East Bay - Then and Now"
One of the things I don't spend a whole lot of time talking about is spiritual stuff. I realize that I'm "in touch" all the time and when I say in exasperation, "Jesus" and he says or somebody says, "Yeeeessss?" it always serves to jerk me away or part way away from my fuss. But, there is a sense of a better way to be...a better way to strive towards that is always a part of my day. I'll be at work and be bombarded with telephone calls...one right after the other and some of them, most of them with some of the most inane requests you'd ever hope to hear. I'll get off of the phone thinking, "Why?" Well, there's a lot more to that questions...but, we'll leave it at "Why?" for the moment. It's like I feel that I'm supposed to be "in touch" I'm supposed to act right. I'm supposed to be spiritual. Because I'm a channel. Because I've got a website that serves as a platform for the Guides to talk about stuff. Because there are people who are really touched by what is said. Because this stuff can change lives for the better, like my own was changed. So, I should be a standup sort of person and act right. Except, I don't always feel like I do. I'm human, I suppose, with all those associated failings and frailties and the Guides, I feel, are very understanding of what a poop I can be. Especially, moving rather quickly now, towards menopause. Ahem, if we might interject? Sure. Mean, Dear. You've left out mean. Thank you. You're quite welcome.
Yes, okay. That, too. Anyway, I need to go be mean at work now. Ta.
Am reading Nicholas Spark's now, "The Rescue" I just finished another by him, "Nights in Rodanthe". Very good writer. I enjoy his stories. I purchased Barbara Moss' "Fierce" over the weekend and will read it soon.
Dennis and Eric's book will soon be out. We hope. He got an advance copy and has been showing it around. "East Bay - Then and Now"
One of the things I don't spend a whole lot of time talking about is spiritual stuff. I realize that I'm "in touch" all the time and when I say in exasperation, "Jesus" and he says or somebody says, "Yeeeessss?" it always serves to jerk me away or part way away from my fuss. But, there is a sense of a better way to be...a better way to strive towards that is always a part of my day. I'll be at work and be bombarded with telephone calls...one right after the other and some of them, most of them with some of the most inane requests you'd ever hope to hear. I'll get off of the phone thinking, "Why?" Well, there's a lot more to that questions...but, we'll leave it at "Why?" for the moment. It's like I feel that I'm supposed to be "in touch" I'm supposed to act right. I'm supposed to be spiritual. Because I'm a channel. Because I've got a website that serves as a platform for the Guides to talk about stuff. Because there are people who are really touched by what is said. Because this stuff can change lives for the better, like my own was changed. So, I should be a standup sort of person and act right. Except, I don't always feel like I do. I'm human, I suppose, with all those associated failings and frailties and the Guides, I feel, are very understanding of what a poop I can be. Especially, moving rather quickly now, towards menopause. Ahem, if we might interject? Sure. Mean, Dear. You've left out mean. Thank you. You're quite welcome.
Yes, okay. That, too. Anyway, I need to go be mean at work now. Ta.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Flailing About
We had a really hot and, at times, windy day yesterday...reminiscent of the fire storm in the Oakland hills back in 1991. Yesterday as the work day wound down for us and I went outside to mail our mail it seemed everything was hazy. I kept thinking my glasses were dirty or maybe the construction guys had raised a dust storm...except there wasn't any construction going on right then. When I got back to the office Janice told me that the smoke from fires out aways was fanning in on us. It was worrisome. A 29,500-acre wildfire in Napa and Yolo counties is what is being said in the news. It was so hot that Dennis and I dispensed with our feather bed and just used sheets. Except, I don't sleep comfortable much anymore and I especially didn't sleep comfortable last night. Fluffy insists on lying at the foot of the bed and she is one rather large cat. Also, one of my pillows went missing. Maybe Dennis has it. Then, I had to keep going to the bathroom...so, finally I just stayed up.
Rambling. I'm reading Barbara Robinette Moss' book, "Change me into Zeus' Daughter" right now. It'll be the second time for me. The first time was one of those watershed moments when you read something that brings a whole lot of trauma up for you. I wrote her then, though I can't seem to find the letter anymore. But, I remember telling her it was a wonderful book. Anyway, a week or so ago I got a little note from her saying her new book, "Fierce" was out and if I was interested in reading it she'd also be interested in what I thought. So, I've checked out and am reading the first book now. The library doesn't have the 2nd one yet, so I'll probably buy it. Pretty amazing lady.
I had a thought that this blog should be the back story of the channeling that I do and I should reserve more private musings for other journals. Or, we could actually do some channeling her....moreso than I've done to date. But, for some reason right now either the guides aren't leaping into the void...or are content to watch me flail about. Somebody just said, "The flailing about part is fine." I'm not feeling all that well right now. I've got a doctor's appointment early next month. My sense is my diabetes or the high blood pressure or something isn't quite right. Yesterday, while I did some shopping at Albertson's I got dizzy a couple of times. It was unsettling. Also, at work, all day yesterday I was terribly uncomfortable. The day just seemed to drag on forever. I'd just finished reading the first in a series of books yesterday called, "At Home in Mitford" by Jan Karon. I'm in love again. Anyway, I've ordered up the 2nd book in the series and have included her, along with Barbara R. Moss, in my list of recommended writers. Anyway, the Episcopalian priest in the story is diabetic and isn't paying enough attention (remind you of someone?) to taking care of himself. And, the next day I get dizzy? And, if you figure that everything you run into is an opportunity for you to learn something I had a sense in that book of rubbing elbows with folks who consider a spiritual life to be important. It was refreshing. I mean, here I am with the guides all day who are some of the most spiritual people I can think of and me. Who grouses around...hollers at work...is grouchy...can't talk to people right...I'm one of the least spiritual people around...and, I'm relaying on what these really spiritual teachers have to say? Something wrong with this picture. The sense, though, that I got from the book was it's okay to try. There's something rearing up from childhood here. And, it's hard to look at. But, it was almost like the characters in Jan Karon's books (who aren't real) reach out in such a way to be real and interesting enough to deliver a good lesson. So, I should be open to it? Yes. If we might say something, Dear? Please...I'm floundering here. We noticed. This blog, as it is referred to, is essentially a journal of sorts. And, technically a journal might be considered a place to flail about getting your thoughts in order to move out and conduct your life in a planned and orderly fashion. In that sense you are fulfilling the idea of blog. But, as a back story to your channeling experience it leaves something to be desired, for who would, in their right mind, be interested to read the musings of somebody flailing about in the dark hours before dawn? We would recommend to you that you be open to the idea of keeping two journals. One with your more than private musings and another with those you will consider to be your backstory. We do not, in the least, mind bouncing about between notebooks, as it were.
Okay, that sounds good to me. Thanks.
Rambling. I'm reading Barbara Robinette Moss' book, "Change me into Zeus' Daughter" right now. It'll be the second time for me. The first time was one of those watershed moments when you read something that brings a whole lot of trauma up for you. I wrote her then, though I can't seem to find the letter anymore. But, I remember telling her it was a wonderful book. Anyway, a week or so ago I got a little note from her saying her new book, "Fierce" was out and if I was interested in reading it she'd also be interested in what I thought. So, I've checked out and am reading the first book now. The library doesn't have the 2nd one yet, so I'll probably buy it. Pretty amazing lady.
I had a thought that this blog should be the back story of the channeling that I do and I should reserve more private musings for other journals. Or, we could actually do some channeling her....moreso than I've done to date. But, for some reason right now either the guides aren't leaping into the void...or are content to watch me flail about. Somebody just said, "The flailing about part is fine." I'm not feeling all that well right now. I've got a doctor's appointment early next month. My sense is my diabetes or the high blood pressure or something isn't quite right. Yesterday, while I did some shopping at Albertson's I got dizzy a couple of times. It was unsettling. Also, at work, all day yesterday I was terribly uncomfortable. The day just seemed to drag on forever. I'd just finished reading the first in a series of books yesterday called, "At Home in Mitford" by Jan Karon. I'm in love again. Anyway, I've ordered up the 2nd book in the series and have included her, along with Barbara R. Moss, in my list of recommended writers. Anyway, the Episcopalian priest in the story is diabetic and isn't paying enough attention (remind you of someone?) to taking care of himself. And, the next day I get dizzy? And, if you figure that everything you run into is an opportunity for you to learn something I had a sense in that book of rubbing elbows with folks who consider a spiritual life to be important. It was refreshing. I mean, here I am with the guides all day who are some of the most spiritual people I can think of and me. Who grouses around...hollers at work...is grouchy...can't talk to people right...I'm one of the least spiritual people around...and, I'm relaying on what these really spiritual teachers have to say? Something wrong with this picture. The sense, though, that I got from the book was it's okay to try. There's something rearing up from childhood here. And, it's hard to look at. But, it was almost like the characters in Jan Karon's books (who aren't real) reach out in such a way to be real and interesting enough to deliver a good lesson. So, I should be open to it? Yes. If we might say something, Dear? Please...I'm floundering here. We noticed. This blog, as it is referred to, is essentially a journal of sorts. And, technically a journal might be considered a place to flail about getting your thoughts in order to move out and conduct your life in a planned and orderly fashion. In that sense you are fulfilling the idea of blog. But, as a back story to your channeling experience it leaves something to be desired, for who would, in their right mind, be interested to read the musings of somebody flailing about in the dark hours before dawn? We would recommend to you that you be open to the idea of keeping two journals. One with your more than private musings and another with those you will consider to be your backstory. We do not, in the least, mind bouncing about between notebooks, as it were.
Okay, that sounds good to me. Thanks.
Saturday, October 09, 2004
Plans for the Weekend and Talking To Mom
It's interesting to see how differently I feel when I've got some direction as opposed to when I don't. At the beginning of the week I had no plans for what to do. I just sort of drifted and I really didn't feel very good. Not physically. Just bummed out. Then, it began to snow ball and it began as I got a notice from the library that books I'd put on reserve were ready to pick up. Good ones too. The Mitford Series and I've started at the beginning. A really homey set of books I can't seem to put down. But, the interesting thing about it is that as I got interested in this book I also got re-interested in life again. ... So, the moral? I suppose you could say when you're bored, read something to perk you up again.
Ha...it's a minute away to 2:22 am. Earlier, I'd awakened thinking...there now, it's 2:22 am. Anyway, I'd awakened and thought to myself it might be time to get up, but the guides told me I still needed to sleep some. And, I did. A little. Got up again in earnest saying that I could take a nap later on if I got too tired...or, if I'm done before morning, just go back to bed. It's just exciting to have the weekend to do stuff. And, I suppose I ought to make a list. At least I don't have to iron 18 different garments like what happened last weekend.
Anyway, plans for the weekend include organizing the study. It began last week when Dennis corralled everything on the floor and sort of bulldozed it over to the edges. I walked in and it was wonderful. I swept everything off of the surface of the desk to the floor and got to work. Not on the piles, but with other things that were far more interesting. I need to keep up with that. It doesn't take long for it to get out of hand. Same trouble at the office too. For hire: Slobby secretary....Anyway, I'm going to switch over to my journal and see what's what there.
Oh, I did find that picture of Mitzie Thayer had sent up when she was 3 months old in September, 1988.... Sheesh, that was difficult figuring out how to get Mitzie's picture up. With practice, I suppose. Anyway, she's a dear cat and about 16 years old. No wonder she sleeps all day. I'm glad to see that she's decided to come out and sort of be with the family. She's been out on the patio for a few weeks now. Albertson's was having a sale on the softest blankets...at $3.99 each. I told Dennis about it when he said he was going to go over to get the makings for Rocky Road Ice Cream which I prepared yesterday evening. We'll make our first batch of ice cream some time today in the new Cuisinart Ice Cream Maker. Anyway, Mitzie got a new blanket too. It's beginning to get nippy at night and I'm sure she appreciates the blanket. Am looking for her to start thinking about moving back inside soon. But, she's happy where she is for the moment. When she decides to move back into the house I'm sure there will be some discussion about who can walk near her and look at her and things along those lines. I'm afraid she can't see as good as she used to. It's tough watching our kitties get old.
In any case, I'm glad for the weekend. I hope to get started on a new section for the website. I am beginning to think of it a little differently these days. Rather than a finished product, more as a dynamic book. That makes me feel a little better having not devoted myself to a "Book" project the last few years. Now, to make it profitable? With time, Dear, with time. Thanks. You're welcome. Do you want to talk? It would appear that is what we are doing. Yes. Well? I don't know what to say. Camera shy are you? Well, yes. Remember you want to locate the work you did back in the old days as you sometimes refer to your earlier attempts at channeling. Also, you'd mentioned something about putting a Ouija Board on the web as a pdf file. Of course, Milton Bradley won't appreciate you stealing their name, so you might refer to it as something else. Talking Board won't work either as the name is taken. Thanks. You are welcome. And, our blessings. Do you know who this is? Is it Seth? No, Dear. It's your mother. Hi Mom. Hi, Pauline. You still can't handle it can you? No. I miss you. I know you do. But, think of how you can talk to me now? Remember when we would talk on the telephone so often? And, how we laughed? Just think of it like that. Yeah. I love you. I love you too. You're going to be tired later on. Yes, I know. Be careful if you drive. I will. I wonder if I don't mess this all up. Well, you do at times, but I wouldn't worry about it. Are you going to send a copy of your psychic reading to your sister? Yes, thanks for reminding me. You're welcome. Mom, I think maybe I'm going to be losing some weight. Yes, maybe this time you will. Did you want to ask me something about it? No, I'm okay. It just feels like this time I can do a little better at it. Yes, I'm sure you will. Just don't eat so much of your ice cream. Well, it doesn't get a whole gallon made at a time. It'll be fun to try out different flavors. But, I see what you mean. For somebody who's trying to lose weight fiddeling around with an ice cream maker sort of is not the best thing to do. Hey, you've got to eat. Well, it doesn't have to be ice cream. Thanks, Mom. I feel better. Yes, I do too.
Okay...I'm signing off for now. That was nice. I'm all teary. Mom's been gone 10 years, now.
Ha...it's a minute away to 2:22 am. Earlier, I'd awakened thinking...there now, it's 2:22 am. Anyway, I'd awakened and thought to myself it might be time to get up, but the guides told me I still needed to sleep some. And, I did. A little. Got up again in earnest saying that I could take a nap later on if I got too tired...or, if I'm done before morning, just go back to bed. It's just exciting to have the weekend to do stuff. And, I suppose I ought to make a list. At least I don't have to iron 18 different garments like what happened last weekend.
Anyway, plans for the weekend include organizing the study. It began last week when Dennis corralled everything on the floor and sort of bulldozed it over to the edges. I walked in and it was wonderful. I swept everything off of the surface of the desk to the floor and got to work. Not on the piles, but with other things that were far more interesting. I need to keep up with that. It doesn't take long for it to get out of hand. Same trouble at the office too. For hire: Slobby secretary....Anyway, I'm going to switch over to my journal and see what's what there.
Oh, I did find that picture of Mitzie Thayer had sent up when she was 3 months old in September, 1988.... Sheesh, that was difficult figuring out how to get Mitzie's picture up. With practice, I suppose. Anyway, she's a dear cat and about 16 years old. No wonder she sleeps all day. I'm glad to see that she's decided to come out and sort of be with the family. She's been out on the patio for a few weeks now. Albertson's was having a sale on the softest blankets...at $3.99 each. I told Dennis about it when he said he was going to go over to get the makings for Rocky Road Ice Cream which I prepared yesterday evening. We'll make our first batch of ice cream some time today in the new Cuisinart Ice Cream Maker. Anyway, Mitzie got a new blanket too. It's beginning to get nippy at night and I'm sure she appreciates the blanket. Am looking for her to start thinking about moving back inside soon. But, she's happy where she is for the moment. When she decides to move back into the house I'm sure there will be some discussion about who can walk near her and look at her and things along those lines. I'm afraid she can't see as good as she used to. It's tough watching our kitties get old.
In any case, I'm glad for the weekend. I hope to get started on a new section for the website. I am beginning to think of it a little differently these days. Rather than a finished product, more as a dynamic book. That makes me feel a little better having not devoted myself to a "Book" project the last few years. Now, to make it profitable? With time, Dear, with time. Thanks. You're welcome. Do you want to talk? It would appear that is what we are doing. Yes. Well? I don't know what to say. Camera shy are you? Well, yes. Remember you want to locate the work you did back in the old days as you sometimes refer to your earlier attempts at channeling. Also, you'd mentioned something about putting a Ouija Board on the web as a pdf file. Of course, Milton Bradley won't appreciate you stealing their name, so you might refer to it as something else. Talking Board won't work either as the name is taken. Thanks. You are welcome. And, our blessings. Do you know who this is? Is it Seth? No, Dear. It's your mother. Hi Mom. Hi, Pauline. You still can't handle it can you? No. I miss you. I know you do. But, think of how you can talk to me now? Remember when we would talk on the telephone so often? And, how we laughed? Just think of it like that. Yeah. I love you. I love you too. You're going to be tired later on. Yes, I know. Be careful if you drive. I will. I wonder if I don't mess this all up. Well, you do at times, but I wouldn't worry about it. Are you going to send a copy of your psychic reading to your sister? Yes, thanks for reminding me. You're welcome. Mom, I think maybe I'm going to be losing some weight. Yes, maybe this time you will. Did you want to ask me something about it? No, I'm okay. It just feels like this time I can do a little better at it. Yes, I'm sure you will. Just don't eat so much of your ice cream. Well, it doesn't get a whole gallon made at a time. It'll be fun to try out different flavors. But, I see what you mean. For somebody who's trying to lose weight fiddeling around with an ice cream maker sort of is not the best thing to do. Hey, you've got to eat. Well, it doesn't have to be ice cream. Thanks, Mom. I feel better. Yes, I do too.
Okay...I'm signing off for now. That was nice. I'm all teary. Mom's been gone 10 years, now.
Thursday, October 07, 2004
More Plans for the Weekend
Just minutes away from needing to go to work. I'm gearing up for the weekend. It's just always too short. Though, if I get some of the laundry done during the week it doesn't feel like I do chores all day long. I'm ready to start some new material for TalkingToSpirit. It might be work I'd done before in regard to folks learning how to channel. In which case I'm going to need to scan it into the computer. I did it so long ago it's just not available anymore in a computerized form...I think. I'll have to go poking around. So, there's that.
Also, Thayer pointed out I need a page explaining about what folks would get if they bought a reading from me. Most of what there is now is the stupid disclaimer and after reading that nobody seems to be interested. More of what they don't get than what they do. So, I need to think about it again. It is evolving. I'm still not all that keen on doing readings for people. I'd hate to steer somebody in the wrong direction and more than that I'd hate for them to be disappointed. Something I need to work on I guess.
Anyway, gas has gone up 21¢ since the beginning of September and it doesn't look like it's going to be slowing down anytime too soon. I'm off to do a marketing survey before I grab the trash at work...haul it over to Lakeshore and then get back to the office before 8:30.
Also, Thayer pointed out I need a page explaining about what folks would get if they bought a reading from me. Most of what there is now is the stupid disclaimer and after reading that nobody seems to be interested. More of what they don't get than what they do. So, I need to think about it again. It is evolving. I'm still not all that keen on doing readings for people. I'd hate to steer somebody in the wrong direction and more than that I'd hate for them to be disappointed. Something I need to work on I guess.
Anyway, gas has gone up 21¢ since the beginning of September and it doesn't look like it's going to be slowing down anytime too soon. I'm off to do a marketing survey before I grab the trash at work...haul it over to Lakeshore and then get back to the office before 8:30.
Sunday, October 03, 2004
FireBalls of Thought
Well, the back story just don't quit. You've got this face that you show the world with your makeup on and every hair in place. That's TalkingToSpirit But, I know I'd always been interested in how a writer writes. In the back story. That's here. Just what exactly do I say to the guides all day long? What is recorded at TalkingToSpirit is the creme de la creme. I want to hear what goes on while the channel is eating breakfast.
You know, that isn't a bad idea. What, eating breakfast? No, what's it like when we talk back and forth. Well, you realize that people will get confused. There is no differentiation between what we are saying and what you are saying. How about if I change the color of the fonts later on before I sign off? That would be fine. So, you just finished a reading. A free one again. Does it bother you not to get paid? No. Why? You spent time doing it. Is you time worth nothing? Well, people need to figure out if they are spending their money wisely and she might not feel that me telling her...or, you guys telling her to do her own work is something she should pay for. You are correct in that assessment. However, you have, in a sense disappointed her. Well, I didn't want to make something up that wasn't true. Why not? People do it all the time. What kind of discussion are we having here? One of interest I would think. All right. I wish I had a cigararette. Yes, we know. So, we would ask you why you want one at this point in time? I need a break. Well, then, take one please.
I have to say that fiddeling with changing the fonts and colors when we switch back and forth talking is sort of wierd. You will become accustomed to it once you have decided what you want. There are shortcuts you might utilitze. Yes.
What should we do today? What would you like to do? Well, there's still this mess on the floor...the stuff I swept off of the desk yesterday when I wanted to have the space to tape that picture together. Yes. And, I'd really like to get a system started for remembering who and when sponsorships were purchased for the HelpSelf directory. That's something you've been wanting for do for some time now. Is there a reason why you have not done it? shit. Nice talk from the channel. No, I don't know why. Could we point out to you that this may have become an obstical for you? Yes, I see that it has. Could we point out to you that whatever system you decide on need not be a perfect one. Yes, thanks. You are quite welcome.
Okay, I see what you mean with the shortcuts. Yes, so you are finding out. I just need to get used to it. Yes. This is wierd. Yes, but you will become accustomed to reaching for the control key and the "B" in time. If anything you are a good typist. Flattery. I always warn against it. No, you don't. Well, I think about it. Yes, so you do. What about flattery and the guides doesn't set right with you? Just that I think it's me doing it. How can what you do influence what we say? You ask that of me? Dear, you are the one who wanted to do that back story. This is merely ancient history repeated for the benefit of those who would learn to channel. Water under the bridge as it were for you, but for someone new to channeling, something of interest and importance. Okay.
So, when a person is new to channeling I always tell them not to believe everything you hear and to lock up the credit cards. The guides will get in there (they did for me, anyway) and get real comfortable and real personal and start urging you to spend money on yourself if you hadn't been doing that before. I'm not sure about this. Why? Because it sounds like you all are terrible and somebody could get the wrong idea about channeling. Continue. Well, it all sort of happens in the beginning stages because I don't think there's a one of you who cares what I wear, what I spend, how I spend it. In that you are wrong. You do care? Certainly we care as it relates to you. You see, it is all about you. People would say, "well, that is a conceited way of looking at things." But, it is true. Personally, you are correct in the sense that money and the spending of it truly does not figure as a primary point of interest to us, but, it does to you. And, in that sense the things that interest you do indeed interest us. There is communication ensuing between us. For a reason. That reason is different for each person. But, generally, it is that you have assumed the status of student and we retain the status of guide and teacher. For us to understand what you are going through and to attempt to guide you we need to understand and speak to you in the same language. So, yes, we are interested when Sears is having a sale.
I know I've messed this up. No, Dear, you have not messed up anything. I'm not going to fiddle with the colors anymore. I think the bold is enough. Yes, and it isn't any great hardship for you to toggle between to two syles? No. Then, you have accomplished something of note for now we are able to converse here pretty much as we do when we are channeling verbally with you any minute of the day. Well, with one exception. And, pray tell, what is that? You're more eloquent here. How so? Channeling via the computer is different than verbal channeling. Verbal channeling is quick. I don't always get or give you the opportunity to do the entire sentence. It's faster. It's like the entire thought....smash! I've got it sort of thing. Sounds painful. Oh, you know what I mean. Yes, I do, but you have not stated it clearly enough for someone who does not channel to understand. Okay, It's like fireballs of thought. Really fast and in their entirety. There is no need to spend the time doing one word after the other. It's not linear. It's not one foot in front of the other. It's a whole book at once. Well, maybe not the whole book...it's like swallowing dinner without chewing it. It's like pictures. And, for what I need from you for assurance that I'm either getting it or not getting it...the "thumbs up" or "thumbs down" I get from you. Just a quick visual signal that I'm on track.
You know, that isn't a bad idea. What, eating breakfast? No, what's it like when we talk back and forth. Well, you realize that people will get confused. There is no differentiation between what we are saying and what you are saying. How about if I change the color of the fonts later on before I sign off? That would be fine. So, you just finished a reading. A free one again. Does it bother you not to get paid? No. Why? You spent time doing it. Is you time worth nothing? Well, people need to figure out if they are spending their money wisely and she might not feel that me telling her...or, you guys telling her to do her own work is something she should pay for. You are correct in that assessment. However, you have, in a sense disappointed her. Well, I didn't want to make something up that wasn't true. Why not? People do it all the time. What kind of discussion are we having here? One of interest I would think. All right. I wish I had a cigararette. Yes, we know. So, we would ask you why you want one at this point in time? I need a break. Well, then, take one please.
I have to say that fiddeling with changing the fonts and colors when we switch back and forth talking is sort of wierd. You will become accustomed to it once you have decided what you want. There are shortcuts you might utilitze. Yes.
What should we do today? What would you like to do? Well, there's still this mess on the floor...the stuff I swept off of the desk yesterday when I wanted to have the space to tape that picture together. Yes. And, I'd really like to get a system started for remembering who and when sponsorships were purchased for the HelpSelf directory. That's something you've been wanting for do for some time now. Is there a reason why you have not done it? shit. Nice talk from the channel. No, I don't know why. Could we point out to you that this may have become an obstical for you? Yes, I see that it has. Could we point out to you that whatever system you decide on need not be a perfect one. Yes, thanks. You are quite welcome.
Okay, I see what you mean with the shortcuts. Yes, so you are finding out. I just need to get used to it. Yes. This is wierd. Yes, but you will become accustomed to reaching for the control key and the "B" in time. If anything you are a good typist. Flattery. I always warn against it. No, you don't. Well, I think about it. Yes, so you do. What about flattery and the guides doesn't set right with you? Just that I think it's me doing it. How can what you do influence what we say? You ask that of me? Dear, you are the one who wanted to do that back story. This is merely ancient history repeated for the benefit of those who would learn to channel. Water under the bridge as it were for you, but for someone new to channeling, something of interest and importance. Okay.
So, when a person is new to channeling I always tell them not to believe everything you hear and to lock up the credit cards. The guides will get in there (they did for me, anyway) and get real comfortable and real personal and start urging you to spend money on yourself if you hadn't been doing that before. I'm not sure about this. Why? Because it sounds like you all are terrible and somebody could get the wrong idea about channeling. Continue. Well, it all sort of happens in the beginning stages because I don't think there's a one of you who cares what I wear, what I spend, how I spend it. In that you are wrong. You do care? Certainly we care as it relates to you. You see, it is all about you. People would say, "well, that is a conceited way of looking at things." But, it is true. Personally, you are correct in the sense that money and the spending of it truly does not figure as a primary point of interest to us, but, it does to you. And, in that sense the things that interest you do indeed interest us. There is communication ensuing between us. For a reason. That reason is different for each person. But, generally, it is that you have assumed the status of student and we retain the status of guide and teacher. For us to understand what you are going through and to attempt to guide you we need to understand and speak to you in the same language. So, yes, we are interested when Sears is having a sale.
I know I've messed this up. No, Dear, you have not messed up anything. I'm not going to fiddle with the colors anymore. I think the bold is enough. Yes, and it isn't any great hardship for you to toggle between to two syles? No. Then, you have accomplished something of note for now we are able to converse here pretty much as we do when we are channeling verbally with you any minute of the day. Well, with one exception. And, pray tell, what is that? You're more eloquent here. How so? Channeling via the computer is different than verbal channeling. Verbal channeling is quick. I don't always get or give you the opportunity to do the entire sentence. It's faster. It's like the entire thought....smash! I've got it sort of thing. Sounds painful. Oh, you know what I mean. Yes, I do, but you have not stated it clearly enough for someone who does not channel to understand. Okay, It's like fireballs of thought. Really fast and in their entirety. There is no need to spend the time doing one word after the other. It's not linear. It's not one foot in front of the other. It's a whole book at once. Well, maybe not the whole book...it's like swallowing dinner without chewing it. It's like pictures. And, for what I need from you for assurance that I'm either getting it or not getting it...the "thumbs up" or "thumbs down" I get from you. Just a quick visual signal that I'm on track.
Saturday, September 25, 2004
Plans to Clean Up the Study
Yesterday I finished up the project of updating all the Archived Channeled Reading Pages. All 365 ofthem. The project began on 8/28 and ended 9/24. Almost a month and it was gruling. Somebody just said to me, "Nobody ever said holy work was a piece of cake." I have to say my work doesn't feel holy. It feels gruling. But, who am I to judge?
The actual channeling had already been done (another huge project), but what I had been doing was to arrange the pages so that they were better. Ever since I'd placed them on the web something about them hadn't been right. There was just too much white space at the top of the page before the actual channeling began, so that was my main reason to get in there and do something about it. The other reason was I had recently changed where I put Google ads on the pages. Rather than before, silently unobtrusive at the bottom and at the left side toward the middle of the page...UP FRONT AND CENTER SO PEOPLE WILL SEE THEM. Right. I realize I was shouting, except nobody had been clicking on them. It's like taking a stint as a bagger at my local grocery store. The job only lasted a month and a half, but it felt like 3 years to me and ever since I've had a kind word and a thank you for the baggers who bag my stuff. It's just a real hard job. And, every time, if I remember, I try to click on a Google ad when I'm visiting different websites. It might only amount to a 3¢ increase for them, but it could also result in something more substantial.
So, that's what I was doing. This was technical work and it didn't feel very creative and I sure didn't feel holy while I was doing it, but now it is done. I absolutely couldn't concentrate on much else while this was looming waiting to be finished.
And, the reason I moved the Google ads into a more prominent position? Well, apart from having somebody click on them I haven't settled in my mind that I want to sell psychic readings. I get letters from people and I answer them, sometimes at length and many times with the guides doing a bit of channeling...which, several times might have constituted a reading. But, I didn't charge and I really didn't want to. Sometimes people buy readings and I'm thinking to myself, "You really should not be doing this." I don't want to take their money, but I don't know how to say so...because they've already paid me.
So, I guess the question that I can ask now and maybe spend some time thinking about now is just what do I want to do with Talking To Spirit?
What I did in the beginning was to teach people to channel. Maybe that's what I really want to do. Or, as has happened with a couple of folks over time is to establish an e-mail relationship with me helping them to heal up. And, as I think of it with a few folks who check in with me every once in awhile seeking the encouragement to continue their journey toward psychic and spiritual enlightenment. Not really a school per se. Just a guide? I guess. Somebody just muttered, "Can't see the forest for the trees." Well, that's me.
Just finished Nicholas Sparks', "A Bend in the Road". A fantastic book. I read something else by him, too, and have to say, now, I'm hooked. Will hie myself off to the library sometime over the weekend to get some more. Terrific writer.
And, am currently reading LaVyrle Spencer's, "Then Came Heaven". Also, another terrific writer. I will also seek out more by her. It's nice to have some new folks to read. Even though I love my standard favorites of Gabaldon, King and Krentz, I have read them a gazillion times. So, time for some new stories every once in awhile.
Plans for the weekend? Laundry, though Dennis said he will take care of it. I think I should help too. And, the ironing. I've got 2 weeks' worth of shirts piled on the back of the chair I'm sitting in now waiting to be ironed. Wash up the ones I wore this week and get them all done today. I'm working on translating our company's employee handbook into Spanish. At least, I'm popping sections of it into BableFish translation services. We'll need somebody to have a closer look at it after I'm done. I'm sure there will be some fine tuning that will be needed. Otherwise, we could have gotten a copy for $650. The boss complained, but I told him that's what it would cost to have somebody translate it. And, that was what the prices were over 20 years ago. Anyway, I'm about half way done.
The other thing is to clean up this study. There's just too much out of place...books stacked up everywhere...it's gotten to the point where it interferes with my peace of mind. And, the cats knock stuff over. So, in being done with my big web project I'd like to alternate with one that involves some channeling...a new section for the web. The next technical project to do will be to continue work with getting reciprocal links and with dressing up the resources section. But, before I do that I'd like to get some content in. Somewhere in this mess there's a piece of paper we had going with suggestions for new channeling.
The actual channeling had already been done (another huge project), but what I had been doing was to arrange the pages so that they were better. Ever since I'd placed them on the web something about them hadn't been right. There was just too much white space at the top of the page before the actual channeling began, so that was my main reason to get in there and do something about it. The other reason was I had recently changed where I put Google ads on the pages. Rather than before, silently unobtrusive at the bottom and at the left side toward the middle of the page...UP FRONT AND CENTER SO PEOPLE WILL SEE THEM. Right. I realize I was shouting, except nobody had been clicking on them. It's like taking a stint as a bagger at my local grocery store. The job only lasted a month and a half, but it felt like 3 years to me and ever since I've had a kind word and a thank you for the baggers who bag my stuff. It's just a real hard job. And, every time, if I remember, I try to click on a Google ad when I'm visiting different websites. It might only amount to a 3¢ increase for them, but it could also result in something more substantial.
So, that's what I was doing. This was technical work and it didn't feel very creative and I sure didn't feel holy while I was doing it, but now it is done. I absolutely couldn't concentrate on much else while this was looming waiting to be finished.
And, the reason I moved the Google ads into a more prominent position? Well, apart from having somebody click on them I haven't settled in my mind that I want to sell psychic readings. I get letters from people and I answer them, sometimes at length and many times with the guides doing a bit of channeling...which, several times might have constituted a reading. But, I didn't charge and I really didn't want to. Sometimes people buy readings and I'm thinking to myself, "You really should not be doing this." I don't want to take their money, but I don't know how to say so...because they've already paid me.
So, I guess the question that I can ask now and maybe spend some time thinking about now is just what do I want to do with Talking To Spirit?
What I did in the beginning was to teach people to channel. Maybe that's what I really want to do. Or, as has happened with a couple of folks over time is to establish an e-mail relationship with me helping them to heal up. And, as I think of it with a few folks who check in with me every once in awhile seeking the encouragement to continue their journey toward psychic and spiritual enlightenment. Not really a school per se. Just a guide? I guess. Somebody just muttered, "Can't see the forest for the trees." Well, that's me.
Just finished Nicholas Sparks', "A Bend in the Road". A fantastic book. I read something else by him, too, and have to say, now, I'm hooked. Will hie myself off to the library sometime over the weekend to get some more. Terrific writer.
And, am currently reading LaVyrle Spencer's, "Then Came Heaven". Also, another terrific writer. I will also seek out more by her. It's nice to have some new folks to read. Even though I love my standard favorites of Gabaldon, King and Krentz, I have read them a gazillion times. So, time for some new stories every once in awhile.
Plans for the weekend? Laundry, though Dennis said he will take care of it. I think I should help too. And, the ironing. I've got 2 weeks' worth of shirts piled on the back of the chair I'm sitting in now waiting to be ironed. Wash up the ones I wore this week and get them all done today. I'm working on translating our company's employee handbook into Spanish. At least, I'm popping sections of it into BableFish translation services. We'll need somebody to have a closer look at it after I'm done. I'm sure there will be some fine tuning that will be needed. Otherwise, we could have gotten a copy for $650. The boss complained, but I told him that's what it would cost to have somebody translate it. And, that was what the prices were over 20 years ago. Anyway, I'm about half way done.
The other thing is to clean up this study. There's just too much out of place...books stacked up everywhere...it's gotten to the point where it interferes with my peace of mind. And, the cats knock stuff over. So, in being done with my big web project I'd like to alternate with one that involves some channeling...a new section for the web. The next technical project to do will be to continue work with getting reciprocal links and with dressing up the resources section. But, before I do that I'd like to get some content in. Somewhere in this mess there's a piece of paper we had going with suggestions for new channeling.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
I am exhausted
I'm absolutely exhausted. My biorhythms suck. I broke a mirror last night when I slammed the bathroom cabinet door shut with my foot. I stomped off this morning a whole half hour early to work because I couldn't stand to be in the house. I think I might have frightened Dennis. I don't know what's going on. Just a really bad tempered person today.
At work? I got mad at Hamid. He didn't do anything but just act like he normally does. It's me. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
At work? I got mad at Hamid. He didn't do anything but just act like he normally does. It's me. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Monday, September 06, 2004
Tedious Work
Well, it's been awhile since I blogged here. And, enough time has passed for me to either have forgotten what it was like or for the procedure to have changed. I think it changed. I don't remember being able to insert a picture, so that's different.
It's a 4 day weekend for me. I got Friday off and, with the weekend and Labor Day celebrated on Sept 6th, it was 4 days off. Very, very nice. I've done massive work on www.talkingtospirit.com Not new stuff, but in having the Google tower ads alongside the right hand side of the screen. Having them in what I consider to be a better position for people to see is important if I'm not going to be making any money from the readings I do. At least, not now anyway. It's a tedious process in loading up one archived entry. Loading up the next. Moving down to where the archived reading is, copying it, moving over to the first reading I'd loaded up (which, incidentally already has the reformatted page on it....lots of changes, not just with the Google ads), pasting the reading over top of the other reading. Scrolling down to increment the Next Reading section. Saving it as the second loaded file (several times I've gotten confused and did a regular save as opposed to the save as a new file name and had to reload the files in question, go back to what the proper reading should be live on the web, view source, copy that and paste it back into the file). God, this has been a tedious project.
But, when it's done I'll be real happy and ready to move on to another project. Anyway, I'm almost at the half way point of 183 entries for the year. It feels like I've been working on this for days. Anyway, the first 20 or so were done toward the end of August. I let the whole thing lay for awhile so I could determine if I was really happy with what we had. No sense going to all this trouble if you're going to look at it when it's finished and go, "Oh, why didn't I do that too?" Anyway, I let it cure for a week. Got back into the project this weekend and on Saturday did 50 entries. On Sunday did 70 and so far this morning I've done 30. For some reason I'm not all that enthused about doing them today. It's been so damned hot this weekend I try to get most of my productive and hard work done in the morning because starting at noon it's gonna get hot.
Am currently reading, "Zinnia" by Jayne Castle...great book.
It's a 4 day weekend for me. I got Friday off and, with the weekend and Labor Day celebrated on Sept 6th, it was 4 days off. Very, very nice. I've done massive work on www.talkingtospirit.com Not new stuff, but in having the Google tower ads alongside the right hand side of the screen. Having them in what I consider to be a better position for people to see is important if I'm not going to be making any money from the readings I do. At least, not now anyway. It's a tedious process in loading up one archived entry. Loading up the next. Moving down to where the archived reading is, copying it, moving over to the first reading I'd loaded up (which, incidentally already has the reformatted page on it....lots of changes, not just with the Google ads), pasting the reading over top of the other reading. Scrolling down to increment the Next Reading section. Saving it as the second loaded file (several times I've gotten confused and did a regular save as opposed to the save as a new file name and had to reload the files in question, go back to what the proper reading should be live on the web, view source, copy that and paste it back into the file). God, this has been a tedious project.
But, when it's done I'll be real happy and ready to move on to another project. Anyway, I'm almost at the half way point of 183 entries for the year. It feels like I've been working on this for days. Anyway, the first 20 or so were done toward the end of August. I let the whole thing lay for awhile so I could determine if I was really happy with what we had. No sense going to all this trouble if you're going to look at it when it's finished and go, "Oh, why didn't I do that too?" Anyway, I let it cure for a week. Got back into the project this weekend and on Saturday did 50 entries. On Sunday did 70 and so far this morning I've done 30. For some reason I'm not all that enthused about doing them today. It's been so damned hot this weekend I try to get most of my productive and hard work done in the morning because starting at noon it's gonna get hot.
Am currently reading, "Zinnia" by Jayne Castle...great book.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)