The Guides and Me about Readings

I spent a lot of time yesterday reading blogs and trying to get a feel for what people do with them. To my mind right now they seem to be a cleaner version of a webpage. Talking To Spirit, for instance, gets really cluttered up at times with stuff. It's almost too much to handle in one fell swoop, which is maybe why people either go immediately to a Google ad or they come back later on. With over 400 pages who could spend all day with it?

But, we're getting maybe 100 hits a day. I would like to see that number double. I noticed that the second most popular page was the Channeled Readings page. I only put a few of the readings I ever did for folks there. I might dig up another couple of them that have info in them that might be considered valuable for folks other than the intended readee. Is that a word? Are you asking us? No, actually, I was being bloggie. I really don't think that is a word. What are you trying to say? Well, I wanted to say if the reading wasn't too personal other folks might get some benefit from it. Our feeling is no matter how personal a reading is others would certainly be interested in reading it. You, however, might think of professional consideration of your clients, whether they paid for the reading or not, in seeking to publish them. Well, I was. I only ever think of looking at the really old readings. Also, I saw that spreadsheet yesterday where I had been keeping track of them; who I did them for and what their email addresses were and the basic jest of the reading. Also, how long it was. Why is that? Well, I saw I'd stopped keeping track in 2002 and there are 3 years of readings not recorded there. Why? I don't know. Why, why? Why did you stop recording them? I suppose I forgot. Not easy to forget something like that, Dear. Well, I suppose I must have gotten busy with something. Maybe the hgh stuff. Yes, perhaps your other job took more of your time. Now would be a good time to see just how many readings you have done. I suppose. You don't sound very enthusiastic about it. No. Who is this, anyway? Seth. Oh. Yes, hello to you too, Dear. God. No, Seth. Oh, shit. Dear, you can strike that. No, I won't. Well, so be it. And, everyone will read of your foul mouth. Alright. What are you getting at? You know very well what I am getting at. Not only is this a blog, it's my own personal battleground. Well, I wouldn't say it was bloody. No.

Okay, what Seth is needling me about here has to do with something I read in, "Zen in the Art of Writing" by Ray Bradbury years and years ago. He'd been talking about how when he had written a million words he'd consider himself to be a writer. When I read that it really struck a chord with me and I determined that I'd do that too. So, over a period of a year I wrote a million and a half words in a journal. Nothing that might be considered to be publishable. More like blog stuff. It was me on my soapbox. It was me pissing and moaning. It was me wondering about stuff. It was my journal. I'd begun in the beginning to do word counts for each day's journaling. Then, when that got to be seemingly obsessive I did averages. Turns out, in the program I was using in those days that a page had about 600 words on it. So, I counted pages instead and multiplied. In the end it was about a million and a half. And, I could write. Maybe not well. But, it flowed. I actually needed it for the channeling, as it turned out. The guides needed somebody with diarrhea of the fingers...or of the mouth..ha. LOL, Dear. LOL. hmmpph.

Anyway, I took the same idea and applied it to me as a psychic. I figured after I'd done 100 readings for folks, whether they were paid readings or not, I might consider myself to be a psychic reader. Except, I still have issues with the readings. It's not my most fun thing in the world to do. I still have problems with how people will accept them. I don't have any problems with what the guides have to say, but I do have issues with how good a channel I am with their information. And, the biggest problem I have is with people wanting answers to questions without plunking down the geld first. I can't blame them for not wanting to spend money on something without knowing what they're getting, but that was what the reading page was supposed to solve. Maybe I need to put some links of the purchase page back to the reading page so they can see what some of the readings are like. That might be interesting.

I talked to Dallas about it and she said she gives one free reading a month. If folks want to stand in line, that's fine with her and if they don't want to stand in line they can purchase a reading. I've been giving free readings to folks who are grieving and who say they flat out don't have any money. I still would want to continue with that, but I might ask that they queue up in the line. Not like I've had a gazillion folks waiting in line wanting readings these days. But, being as how I worry a lot, I don't see why I can't worry about this issue. Side note: I just saw a guide in my peripheral mind's eye scrubbing his face with his hands. I'm probably dancing around the whole point here. Usually, when I see them doing that, that's what I'm doing. No, now one of them is holding his nose.

You, know, once upon a time Seth and the others suggested I do some sample readings, not based on questions folks had actually submitted to us, but just with questions we came up with ourselves and then the guides answered as if they were honest to goodness readings. That way I wouldn't be violating any sort of professional standard or confidentiality. Yeah, I had forgotten about that.

Mom

It's Saturday and I've had an afternoon nap. What a luxury. And, refreshing. As Mom would have said, as Mom always said about naps and sleeping in and about sleeping extra at all, "You must have needed it." Thanks Mom. Yes, Dear, and you're welcome. Hey, did you like that blog I just read? The woman who is in Uganda? Yes. Yes, I liked it. You might bookmark it in your own blog so that you can return to it later. You know what happens when you bookmark those places you want to return to later on. You just can't locate them.

Mom? Yes. I love you. Yes, I love you too. Anybody reading this and knowing anything about me knows that you died years ago. How many? Lots. Are you going to look? Yes. 9/14/04 Nine years ago. More than that, Dear. Oh, right. Eleven years. I should change this? No, Dear, this is your back story. Or, at least, this is you talking to your mother. We might have called each other on the telephone today to yak. Remember how we laughed? Yes. Now, you're crying. It was such a nice Saturday and now you're sad. Well, I still miss you. Yes, and I see you still talking to me. Your sister can't do that. I know. I shouldn't be sad. No, I know how you feel though. You feel that even as good a channel that you are you can twist what I want to say to suit yourself. And, in a way you can. But, I wouldn't worry about it so much if I were you. There's actually not much that you can do about it. Just maintain the contact. You know what it feels like to do this. It's easy for you now. Just maintain the connection. Thanks, Mom. You're welcome. I love you. I love you too. Bye. Yes, Dear.

Anyway, the link to the site I was talking about is Summer in Uganda I read most of an entry she'd made the other day. I don't suppose this is for more than her family and friends. It's the summer she's spending in Uganda, but I was really drawn to her story as I read it. I saw a fellow writer and it was a delight to see somebody who can craft words and loves them and just plain old has diarrhea of the mouth like I do. As I read what she'd written I was hooked and, yet, on the other hand I was thinking who would read this? Who would spend the time to read all of this? Then, I read the comment her mother had made and I thought how lucky she was to still have her mother. And, one thing led to another and my own showed up. Damn, I wish I still drank. I'd go make me a rum and coke right now. Anyway, I can't do this anymore right now. But, being as how this is the back story of a psychic, I will leave the conversation I had with Mom in.

Blogging Around

Investigating blogging. This blogging business is still a mystery to me. As I've been working with my own I can see that making entries to it is a heck of a lot easier than working on a webpage. I mean, with a new webpage I copy over from one of my previous pages to get a basic template, then I fiddle with what I'm going to say and it can be a very long, drawn out process. With this blogging I just make an entry.

This particular blog, my first and only, is different than the website because I pick topics there to talk about and here I just barf on the page. Excuse me, that just wasn't polite. But, it's what I do as a journaling writer. I barf words. Not that what ends up on the page is going to be vomit. At least, I hope it won't be. But, in a sense, there's more freedom for me here than there is on the webpage. Also, folks are visiting Talking To Spirit. Nobody visits here. At least, not now. So, I don't feel so self conscious.

Now, I'm looking at other people's blogs and I see some really, very nice ones. I mean these are primo professionally done blogs. At least, I think so. Like mine? No. One thing I notice is I like the white page best. Do you see me with a white page? No, but I'm still fiddling with this. Once upon a time it was all green.

Anyway, enough barfing. Climb onto a soap box. What exactly does this blog do for me? Well, it's a place where I can just write. I haven't done that lately anywhere else. And, I'm sorry to say I really haven't done much in the line of adding new content to my website.

The plans there involve optimizing. Looking at the titles of each page and writing a distinct and different description for each page. Yikes. I've got over 400 pages. This is going to take awhile. With that project goes using the Overture keyword selection tool, deciding on keywords to concentrate on and work with them.

Also, I have ideas to double the number of link/resource pages I've got up. After they are built and have a few links on them to begin the process of going after reciprocal links. What does any of this have to do with being a channel? Nothing. It has to do with making this channeling website financially viable. Because right now it makes $100 every 4 months. Who can pay the rent with that? I have to admit I haven't done many readings lately, but the last two readings I did I think may have resulted in a couple of friendships or, at least, in me getting some channeling students for awhile.

I don't charge to teach people to channel. They all go at their own pace and check in when they feel the need. In that sense maybe I'm sort of shamanic which appeals to me.

Renee Lopez sent me a CD with her singing all her own songs. What a tremendous voice she has. Turns out we are both Virgos.

Anyway, I don't want to say too much here that's going to violate anybody's privacy and yet, I wonder just how private these blogs can be. It's going to take some more investigating. I did notice, though, in looking at my statcounter info the other day somebody had taken the pdf file I'd made with the Spirit Board and put it on their blog. They were poking fun at it. Well, when I made it I was sort of laughing tongue in cheek anyway at it all. It's not serious and yet it works. And, if you wanted to talk to Elvis you could. I guess that's what people don't feel is so spiritually enlightened. Well, if they want to be serious they can be. I can't. I'm just mean most of the time these days. Because I am in pain all the time...but, that's another story and not one I care to go into now...my back hurts and so does my neck.

Seth Talks to Me

Normally, I wouldn't jump back in here so quick, but I feel the need to talk. One thing on my mind right now is this blog. I've said it will be the back story of a psychic. Well, it is and it isn't. It's just my story.

Supposedly, I'm a psychic. I definitely am a channel. But, personally, I don't think I'm that great a psychic. Sometimes I get flashes. Sometimes I can say truthfully that I am psychic. But, then again, so is everybody else. I'm not so special in that department. Where I am different is that I'm a channel. The quandary I find myself in is that people tend to lump everybody with psychic abilities together and expect that they can all tell the future, etc. Even if I could tell the future (and, sometimes I do get glimpses), I wouldn't want to. But, moving with the idea that what the people think is what I'll cram myself into...it just doesn't sit well with me. Could be why I don't get requests for readings anymore.

My site, I think, is better geared toward helping other people to channel. And, to help those people who are having immediate questions about grief. But, am I still a psychic? I guess so.

Perhaps we might help? Yes, thanks. You'll need to go back later on and give us all different colors so you might keep us all apart. Okay, I'll do that. Anyway, what do you think? What we think, Dear, is not what is important right now. It is what you think. It would appear that you are a reluctant psychic. Yes. I compare myself to other psychics and find myself wanting. Dear, hasn't that always been the case with you with other matters? I guess so. Give us a new paragraph and we might speak for a moment.

First of all, this blog as you refer to it is indeed the back story of a psychic. As you state you might not be the best in the bunch, but you are a good channel. And, you know how to maintain a high quality of channeling in that you might continue to do your own psychological work. Something you have bee neglecting for awhile, but that is just a hint. In any case, if you were to pay attention to your own needs your life overall would improve and this would also include your ability to perceive what might be termed as wishful channeling.

What you have before you with Talking To Spirit is a website that is in constant motion. It has enough information continued in it even now, that you might publish a book. But, to have it available for anyone to come, anywhere with no charge was your desire. That has been fulfilled. It is also more dynamic than a book in that you are constantly adding to it.

We would suggest that you might continue with your own efforts in regard to moving psychically and also spiritually.

Yeah, that's something that's been bothering me too. What's that? The moving spiritually part. Like Thayer said about meditating just for meditating's sake and not for growing spiritually. Well, then, you can take what he said under advisement, then, can't you? Yes. I guess I have. Yes.

Seth, why does it have to be so hard, though? I mean, why is there all this anguish in my heart when all I want to do is help people? Dear, if you would consider your own position does not come from the top of the barrel, as it were, but from the bottom. You don't have a whole lot of self confidence and it seems perfectly natural for you to have all this anguish. You're just operating from a really intense position and take nothing for granted. You've got to question everything. You've got to know the nuts and bolts. You've got to split hairs. That's what the driving force of your nature takes you. It doesn't just like to skim over the surface of things. It really wants to know. Couple that with low self esteem and you've got anguish.

On the other hand, those things that are beautiful and that are poignant are so much more so for you than for other people. Can you remember what it was like to learn how to swim? Yes. Remember how frightened you were? How you hugged to the side of the pool not wanting to go into the water? How even your toes curled about the edge of the pool you were holding on so tight? Yes. Do you remember how you were taught? The first dead man's float? How relaxing it was? And, it was then that you knew for a certainty that you would not sink, you would not get water in your nose, you would not choke, you would not die and you were safe. From the simple floating. The learning how to swim came later. But, it was the floating that first allowed you to feel safe.

Being safe is the key for you. Revisit being safe and translate that feeling into how you can feel with being safely psychic. Where you are halting is the meandering and idle vision seeking. That's where you can use a little nudge. OBE's in your head. What would it be like to have a sudden psychic vision? You've had them before. They are odd. They are sudden. They can be startling. But, this is the same thing that happened to you as you learned how to meditate. Remember? Yes. There was a period of time when you saw faces. Faces contorted in horror and fear and who knew what else. Tortured faces. And, you were seeing them. And, they frightened you. But, we told you to continue with meditating practice. And, finally, when you were meditating you no longer saw those faces.

Use the same technique, now, with being psychic. It will come to you.

Thanks - I suppose, this would be the better backstory of a psychic than me pissing and moaning about every little thing. Dear, it is your story. Don't worry about it. Thanks.

Farts

I wanted to write this down before I forget it. It’s 2:00 am right now and I was lying awake and suddenly sleepless in bed about an hour ago. The kids next door were having a Friday night hoot and were making noise. Not bad, but enough that I went around closing the windows. But, after I’d gone back to bed I still couldn’t get back to sleep. Not that any of this has anything really to do with the story; it just sort of sets the stage for it.

A phenomenon of getting older or, perhaps, of getting fatter is that I seem to fart a lot. Not that you’d notice it during the day. I’m the perfect model of proper behavior at work. But, I’ve noticed in recent years that as I awaken, as I stretch and slowly come awake, I also move a lot of air. So, here I am lying in bed. Can’t sleep, wishing the kids would go home and I farted. I mentioned to Seth that it seemed like my blood pressure had even gone down as I farted; it was that powerful. He said, “And, we can assure you there was a corresponding rise of blood pressures in the immediate vicinity.” Maybe you had to be there, but I thought it was funny.

Mama Cat

The past week has been pretty grim. Mama Cat is dead. She was killed by a pitbull. It was on Monday, June 27th, just after 6pm. I was in the house. I hadn't gone to work that day and hadn't even bothered to get dressed. I heard Tina outside screaming Mama Cat's name and then alternately, my name. I rushed to the door and as I stood on the steps I saw a kid bicycling off with a tan pitbull on a leash. He made eye contact with me and his eyes slid away and he continued to slowly bicycle on down the street. I rushed downstairs and saw a group of people, the neighborhood kids and Tina and Phil all looking at Mama Cat. She lay on the ground. Her eyes were open. I leaned over to touch her and realized she was gone. But, the realization wasn't enough. I leaned back and put my hands over my face and prayed, help her. Help me. Please take care of her. I picked her up, cradling her, holding her, hugging her. She was gone. I took her upstairs and laid her on the soft blue blanket on our bed and cried over her.

Phil called the police. They came to talk to us. There was nothing they could do. Evidently, a cat, unless it is a show cat, no matter how domesticated it is, is still considered feral. As such nobody gets too excited about it when they are killed. I couldn't believe I was hearing this. I lost interest in talking to the police officer when he said those things. Only in Oakland. He did say he would investigate. The neighborhood children had followed the guy as he wheeled off onto MacArthur Blvd and on down until they stopped at High Street. He continued on and they were able to determine that he veered off toward Mills College. The police officer said in the past 3 days they'd had reports of people releasing pit bulls from their cars to attack cats. The kids said he deliberately released his dog and sicced him on Mama Cat.

This is such violence that I am still shuddering from it. I told some people at work about it. But, I haven't told anybody I channel for. I've just been grieving for my cat.

I can channel her too. It's not like I have lost contact with her. She said she woke up in my mother's arms. She said there are pitbulls in heaven, but nobody minds because everybody gets along. She said she loved me. Today she told me that she had been protecting us all and had stayed in danger. The dog could have gotten Samantha, her daughter, or Fluffy Drawers who were both downstairs. The dog could have gone up the stairs to get Mitzie who is 18 years old and doesn't move fast at all anymore. Mama Cat said she was just doing her job which was to watch out for us. She said it's much nicer there anyway, so she's glad to have lived with us, but she doesn't mind where she is right now.

Every once inawhile it hits me. And, I cry for her. I cry for the times she would always stop by as I was making my lunch and wanted a piece of ham. I cry for the times when she would race up the steps ahead of us when we got home from work. I cry for the times she would always come to greet us when we'd get out of the car. I cry for the times she'd follow me to the store and sit on the corner or in the Budhist temple yard waiting until I was done and walking home. She'd race on ahead and pause to scratch a little bit on the telephone pole before we'd cross the street together. I remember how she was always interested in her breakfast. I remember how she'd spend most nights in the good weather over on Phil's porch sleeping under his grill.

We've had so many cats recently who've passed on. Molly and Millie and Gertie it seems not so long ago. Now, Mama Cat. It breaks my heart. But, I think too of how lucky we've been we had these animals with us for so many years. They all were rescued. Each one of them has a place in my heart that will always be there. It's been a long week.