God

So, I’m surfing. And, I’m interested in what sorts of lists of psychic abilities people have come up with. And, I come to this site that has listed individuals and what sorts of psychics or healers they are. And, there are some heavy duty names on this list. Jesus is there too. And, I’m reading it. And, this voice in my head says, “This is God.”….I started laughing…I don’t know what God wanted to say I was laughing so hard. This is a particular brand of Guide Humor I experience every once in awhile.

Here they go again. “This is still God speaking.” Okay, I’m game. Hi. Hello. Did you realize that Hello is Hell in reverse? As you leave Hell you say, Oh. So, they came up with Hello. No, I didn’t know that. Is this really God? Are you questioning me? Well, yes. I just don’t believe it’s really you. See I talk to a lot of guides and every once in awhile somebody gets a wild guide hair or something and starts doing what you’re doing. What am I doing? You said you were God. Well, yes, so I did. Don’t you believe me? Well, I sort of have my reservations. Do you believe in God? Yes. But, not so’s you’d be there to sort of chew the fat with. Ah, so you believe in one sided conversations with God then? Well, I like it better when you don’t start talking back to me. I think a lot of people are like that. Moses didn’t like it when I talked to him. No, I don’t suppose I’d have liked to have been holding a conversation with a burning bush either. You’re lucky I’m not telling you to go do things. Like what? You don’t want to know. No? No, it’s the weekend and you’ve got all your activities lined up. Well, that’s thoughtful. Thank you.

Are you still God? Last time I looked. Okay, I have a question for you. What is it? Why can’t I lose weight? If you did you’d float away. No anchors. You’re already not rooted in reality. If you were to lose weight you’d float right off the surface of the earth. So, it’s not safe? Right. Okaaaay.

You know, this is sort of one of those parables, if you don’t mind. The shoe being on the other foot and all. You’re really, really wanting me to prove that I’m God and I really don’t feel like proving it to you. How many questions do you get from people who say they don’t believe you can talk to the dead? Or even the animals? Or the saints? Or Superman? Or Elivs? See what I mean? Yeah, I do. Sorry. Why? Why what? Why are you sorry? Because I doubted you. I’m not sorry. Why should you be sorry? It’s no skin off my nose if you don’t believe in Me. I believe in you. That’s enough.