Sunday, May 21, 2006

Help with Grief

One of the hardest things a person has to cope with is grief.  And, typically, as we age the opportunities for us to grieve pick up speed as our family members and friends grow older and pass on.  

It actually doesn’t get much easier the more psychic you are.  I still miss many people who’ve come and gone from my life.  But, there are a couple of things that you can keep at the back of your mind that might help to ease the tearing feelings of grief when they rise up.

One is that the raw, savage feelings of grief that you feel right after you receive news that your loved one has passed on do ease with time no matter what you do.  The instances of feelings of loss and grief that rise out of nowhere to take your breath away also lessen and occur less frequently as time goes by.

You might think about keeping a journal during this time.  This is an opportunity for you to express yourself.  You can write whatever you want in it.  You can doodle or draw pictures; you can make lists of people who have expressed their condolences to you and you can make lists of the things you think you should do but don’t feel like doing right then.  You can weep and rage.  You can obliterate what you have written with your tears.  But, the important thing is that you are moving.  Even writing for 20 minutes a day is helpful.

Now, from the psychic and spiritual standpoint your loved one is fine.  Happy campers all in Heaven.  I’ve been told by the guides that Hell exists and people do go there if they think they need to, but only for a time.  After awhile they get a visit from their guide or others who do that sort of work who convince them eventually there is a nicer place to be.  But, mostly, folks go straight to Heaven right away.  It all depends on their belief structure.  

I’ve also been told that folks generally are met by a welcoming committee when they die.  They also get a party.  I’ve always thought that was nice.  Sort of a birthday party.

I’ve asked my own mother who passed on in 1994 to be there for others who pass on; for people I’ve met on the internet and who I know from my regular life who are having a hard time as their loved ones die.  I don’t know that it makes much of a difference, but I always ask Mom and my guides to be there for them.

Dying has been described to me by the guides as if a person were awakening from a dream.  The dream of life.  And, now they are alive again.  Weird.  But, for me, it was comforting.  Another guide described it as if you had taken off a really tight pair of shoes.  

You can talk to your loved ones still.  You don’t have to be at the cemetery.  You can be in line at the grocery store or window shopping and just think to them, “I miss you.”  They heard that.  You probably won’t get a confirmation from them that they heard you, but, trust that they did.  

You should know that our loved ones who’ve passed on can visit you in your dreams.  You might not be lucid enough to have a really good hug and cry over the visit, but you can, when you awaken in the morning, know that your loved one dropped by to say hi.  It’s a good reason to learn how to dream lucidly.  I’ve only had one dream where I was lucid and my mother visited after she’d passed on.  I woke up with tears streaming down my face, I was so happy to have had the opportunity to hug her and have her hug me.  But, she’s been in tons of my dreams since then where I have not been lucid.  I wake up in the morning from a dream where my mother played a bit character in my dream and realize that she’d been there.  She hadn’t said anything, but she’d just been there.

Another thing the guides told me is that nobody on the face of the earth ever leaves before they are done with exactly what they had intended to do in that particular lifetime.  They might have been here for 2 and a half minutes or 78 years.  They may have left with projects half done, with marriages just started, with careers just begun, but in their hearts, with the plans they had on a soul level, they were done.  

And, no matter how old you are, no matter what kind of relationship you had with her, your mother, when she passes on, will watch over you.  Not necessarily to keep you from harm, but just sort of keeping her eye on you and on every other member of the family until you all eventually meet up again some day.

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