Friday, March 30, 2007

Ahhhhh...a Nap

Here’s me reading blogs on Blog Explosion just now. The post was talking about uber-cool people. I asked of Spirit, “Do you figure I’ll ever be uber-psychic?” They said, “Why don’t you go take a nap. You’ve done enough.” Ha….I’ve been buzzing around all day doing things, being industrious. Here’s what I’ve done so far on my day off from work:

  • I’ve posted entries to 3 blogs.
  • With input from Spirit I created a batch of muffins based upon a little and very old can of coconut milk in my cupboard and updated my Spirited Recipes at Talking to Spirit.
  • I did 3 loads of laundry to include the sheets and bedding.
  • I swept the patio and watered the plants.
  • I went shopping and got DeeDude’s special request of hamburgers and French fries for his last day of work dinner.
  • I bought a fly gizmo trap for the patio.
  • I created, bought and sent a present to a friend via CafePress.
  • I’ve made great inroads into the current book I’m reading, “The Widow's Tale” by Margaret Frazer.

    When I am at work about this time in the afternoon I always want to take a nap. So, since I am at home today and have already done a boatload of things I am going to go take a nap. That should pretty much make my day.
  • Sensing Me

    I’m listening to an album called, Saffron and Silk by Govi right now. Clicking on the link will take you to Amazon where you can listen to the tracks on the album. I so enjoy his instrumental music. As I eased into the listening of it I was sort of struck by how this music is me. It’s a me on another level. To look at I’m not at all striking. I’m getting old. I’m overweight. I’m certainly not stylish. I’m a dumpy, middle aged woman. And, yet as I listen to this music I sense similarities between this music and who I am underneath the veneer of outward gloss. It’s a freshness and hope I sense. It’s an enthusiasm for the day. It’s a totally better and more vibrant me than the me I am as I sit here in this chair writing these words.

    It must be because I am taking today off from work. I’ve turned the focus of my attention in a direction other than daily duty and have allowed my mind to explore, albeit briefly, the fringes of my psychic reality and hence I find myself wandering across this music.

    It’s struck a chord with me.

    Sunday, March 25, 2007


    Once upon a time, a long time ago, I tried some green stuff at my local health food store. It was a powder that you mixed with water. It smelled like lawn clippings, but I did experience a rush of well being and good health such as I had not felt in a very, very long time. Unfortunately, the taste and smell threw me off of the product.

    Today, I have on my head a mass of henna…Persian Dark Brown. The smell of it is reminiscent of the green stuff I drank. In fact, it was a dark shade of green as I packed it onto my hair. I used a cup of coffee and 2 tablespoons of cider vinegar to mix it up. I applied it with a paintbrush, though towards the end I just glopped it onto my head and rubbed it in. It was sort of like going out to the garden and piling mud on my head.

    DeeDude screamed when he walked by the bathroom. I’ve been sitting around now for 45 minutes with it all tucked up under a shower cap waiting for the proscribed hour to end. If this works out okay I will use henna on my hair instead of the other coloring products I’ve been using for years.

    Saturday, March 24, 2007

    I’ve Got My Number

    One of the things I am notorious for is not attending to my own emotional and psychological well being. I just go blithely along while the scenery around me crumbles into dust going, “Who me?” What I mean to say is I haven’t, lately anyway, been paying attention to the usual markers that signal a need for a “tune-up”.

    The other day one of those “markers” got my attention in a big way. I couldn’t swallow one of my vitamin supplements. It was a horse pill of a glucosamine pill. When I first got the bottle and realized how freaking big the pills were I had a fright. For the first few days I split the pills in half and swallowed them that way, but the edges would scratch my throat on the way down and I’d have my few seconds of panic while I fought them down. After 3 days of this I tried to swallow one whole. It went down okay. And, for the last couple of months, every morning, I’ve been having one of these horse pills along with all the other pills I take.
    You can click on the picture for a larger view.

    As it happens there are two things in my life right now sitting there, staring me in the face and producing large amounts of stress. One is that my husband’s last day of work at his job is next Friday. His plans are to write a book and to find writing jobs along the way. The other is my office is looking at some shifts in personnel and that always stresses me out.

    Now, intellectually I know to watch out for the “markers” that clue me in that I’m under stress and need to do a little bit of psychological work. The idea is that you immediately repair to your bedroom, close the door and make yourself comfortable on your bed. You close your eyes, take a deep breath and seek one of the original causes of disturbance that occurred in your life waaaaay back in your childhood. And, you get mad. That’s all. You feel the anger and express yourself. We, all of us probably, weren’t allowed to effectively burn down the house, or to at least throw your toys out the window in a fit of rage as two year olds, right? Right. So, just do it in your head now as an adult.

    I knew this. I’ve had fantastic results from spending 8 minutes doing this exercise in the past. It’s like it tunes me up for the next 12 months. What an investment. Right. I don’t do it. I drag my heels. I say, “Yes, I’ll go do it.” And, I don’t.

    Meanwhile, my own personal indicators that I need a psychological tune up keep piling up.

    So, as DeeDude told me he planned to quit his job I got a boil on my butt. That went away and a week and a half later I got another boil on my neck. Granted, this one could have been the bug bite in the night to end all bug bites, but I tend to think it was a boil.

    Also, another of my “markers” is that I attract asshole drivers. It just never fails and there appear to have been a lot of them out on the road last week.

    The latest thing that happened was I absolutely could not swallow my glucosamine pill yesterday morning. I gagged on it. I held it, slowly dissolving in my mouth, took another mouthful of water and tried again. Gag. So, I spit it out and resolved to try again later. I never did and this morning when I awakened realized that my neck and shoulder and back were all hurting. Now, I really don’t know if this is in any way related to me not having one measly glucosamine pill yesterday or my imagination, but I did finally put all the pieces together.

    I have had trouble swallowing pills since I was a kid. This is a problem that goes way back in time. As an adult, I just figured that was how I was. Until, with the help of friends and a couple of therapists, I began doing my own “psychological tune-ups”. I never thought to tell anybody about this particular problem. Like I said, I thought it was how I was. Until a few years ago I realized that I was able to take all my morning vitamins and supplements in one big mouthful and swallow them all at once. I remember the first time that happened and I was totally amazed. It was incredible. No gagging. Just swallow all those little pills. I’m talking a lot of pills.

    And, until this morning I never connected not being able to swallow pills to being able to swallow pills with my own psychological well being.

    So, boils and asshole drivers aside, now I have a third marker I can watch out for that indicates I need to go spend 8 minutes doing my own mini psychological tune up. I can’t swallow anymore.

    How do you do this, you might ask? Well, I’m not sure. I’m still a little hesitant about it. I don’t think I’m going to go lay down. DeeDude is still asleep and I’d probably bother him, so I think I’ll just sit here in front of the computer.

    I suppose it could go along the lines of a past life or childhood regression. You sit quietly and acknowledge you’ve been stressed out. Know that everything is going to be okay. And, in your mind remember to your childhood and a time when you were stressed out. Remember a time when you were afraid. Allow the words or visions or impressions to come up for you. It’s not your imagination. You’re doing work here. Trust that what comes up is something that’s been bothering you in a major way.

    Oh, it is difficult for me to do this. I don’t know why. I do not wish to place blame anywhere. I want to give the little kid in me the opportunity to express themselves. That’s all. I’ve floated back in time. I heard the words, “Safety and Stability”. I knew it had to do with that. Psychically speaking my mother was there to hold me and to tell me it was okay to do this work. She’s always been my hero. I don’t want to be mad at her, but part of this has to do with, I think, her teaching me to be nice, to not rock the boat, to look the other way. I think.

    One of the guides just said, “It doesn’t matter what you think. It matters what you do.”

    I’m going to electrocute myself with all these tears running down my face….they’re going to fall into the keyboard and electrocute me.

    Right. Can I think of any other reason not to do this work? I’m telling you, I find all sorts of excuses.

    Okay…I’m going back in again. Tears relieve the pressure. They don’t fix things. The idea then is to go back to a time when I felt my own personal safety and stability of life wasn’t right. And say something about it. Imagine in my head that little short me, no higher than somebody’s knee cap has a plastic baseball bat and I’m going to beat the crap out of the floor…or their foot…or something. And, say the one of the only word I knew at the time, “NO”.

    Okay…I don’t know if this worked. Maybe later on this morning when I take my vitamins. Maybe that old horse pill of a glucosamine pill will go down easily. I’ll let you know.

    ....Later: Yes, I was able to swallow the old horse pill okay. I guess this stuff really does work.

    Monday, March 19, 2007

    Pondering the Imponderable

    The word for the day is perseverance. Sales people know about this first hand. My husband told me once that out of 100 cold calls you can expect to get one person interested in what you are talking about. That takes perseverance to continue to call people up, to have them say to you, “No, I’m not interested and don’t call here again.”

    I can always tell when somebody from a boiler room is calling me because you can hear all the other people in the background making the same sort of sales calls. As annoying as getting those calls are, especially in the late evening hours and right as you sit down to eat dinner, you’ve got to admire the perseverance it takes to continue to make those calls.

    How would you apply that quality to your own life? How would you apply perseverance to prayer? How would you apply perseverance to seeking spiritual ease?

    I don’t know. Keep trying, I guess. For me it’s almost like I didn’t get enough to eat. The cravings I had a moment ago for cheese cake were not satisfied and I’ve got to keep going back for more. That’s what it is like for me to seek God.

    I can channel up a storm, but that is talking to Folk in Spirit. I can’t say that I’ve touched the hand of God. It hasn’t felt any different for me. Well, occasionally I do stumble into what might be called a grace like state. It sort of washes over you like the waves in an ocean. But, not all the time. Just occasionally.

    Maybe, like they tell me, God is all around me already. Maybe, like they tell me, God is always with me and has never abandoned me at all. So, what is this seeking that I do? Why am I not satisfied?

    Pondering the imponderable? I guess. Your thoughts would be welcome.

    Sunday, March 18, 2007

    Busy Beading

    So I did 3 loads of laundry today, ironing (twice), recovered another chair (just the back of a folding chair the cats had been scratching on), made a pair of shorts for DeeDude from a favorite pair of jeans he fell down in and ripped both knees up while he was horsing around in the woods, wrote 2 articles for my next newsletter and made a webpage for Talking to Spirit about Folk in Spirit visiting in the dreamtime. Not bad....and, tada! I made 2 more beaded watches.

    Click on the pictures for a larger version.

    Friday, March 16, 2007

    Beading I've Done

    Last weekend I finally dragged out all my beading supplies and started to work. I don’t know what it is about me that I have to do something in my head 150 times before I lay hands on the stuff and finally make something. Sheesh.

    Anyway, I made two watches. I made one for the lady I work with and one for myself. Mine is a little too large and hers a little too small, so this weekend I will cut them apart and make them again.

    In the meantime, these are the things I learned that doing the process 150 times in my head never touched upon:

    Using pliers on the needle isn’t the best thing to do. Buy more needles than you think you need. (These are needles with a large eye that opens up in the middle and are pointed on both ends. This is the only needle I found that I can thread the stretch magic cord though.)

    Be more cautious using Super Glue. I ended up with it on my fingers and spent 45 minutes picking and scrubbing before it came away.

    The necklace trough tray is absolutely fantastic! I will use it a lot!

    See about hiding knots underneath the roundel beads that rest in-between the more interesting ones.

    The watch faces I purchased at They were $3.99 each. What a deal!

    And a psychic spin to the story? Some time ago, while I was making beaded jewelry in my head one of the guides said the word bead. Except, I “saw” it as they said it and they’d spelled it wrong. They’d said bede. When I said it was wrong, they said it was correct. I went and looked up the word. It means praying. I thought that was interesting.

    Wednesday, March 14, 2007

    Fun with Flushing

    This is just hilarious.

    Going to the Dentist

    Here’s me at the dentist yesterday. “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!” Them: “You are forgiven.” Me: “What do you mean? Don’t do this to me. Don’t make me laugh.” Them: “Try to relax.” Me: “How can I relax? Ow! Ow! Ow!” Them: “Think about something else.” Me: “What else can I think about? (Sound of buzzing going on. Sensitive teeth very sensitive right now.)” Them: “It will be over soon.” Me: “How soon? It just started.”

    The conversation went on in this vein for about half an hour. It was a cleaning. I don’t like going to the dentist.

    Sunday, March 11, 2007

    Fear Sucks

    We can get as complicated as you want to get, as convoluted and as intricately impossible as you want to get, but it really, I think, boils down to one thing. Fear.

    If you have a plant it’s going to grow toward the light. If it is sitting with one half of it in darkness and the other half exposed to light it’s going to twist and turn until it’s facing the light.

    Here we sit afraid. Fear drives so many of the things that we do. Fear prevents us from being adventurous, fear encourages us to stay stuck in ruts. Fear sucks.

    Fear sprouts. It grows these twisting tentacles that search for more and better fodder in your psyche to feed upon. It’s like a cancerous growth. And, how do your feel? You’re afraid and the quality of your life is, if not just humdrum, horrible. If fear sucks, so does your life.

    So, what can you do about it? Not be afraid? That’s easier said than done. I think if you show the least little bit of courage and say to yourself that you want to see the fear, that you want to confront your fear you will be on the road to a life you can direct yourself. At least, more of it.

    Close your eyes. Say a little prayer silently saying you are going to be embarking upon an inward journey in the next few moments and that you’d like an assist from God or your higher self or your guardian angel. Whoever, just somebody from Spirit to point the way. Because this sucks and you could use a friend here.

    And, they said to me, “Little steps.” Well, that’s fine. I can manage little steps.

    Now, relax. Or, try to. And sit back and allow the fear to come to you. A fear. Not all of them. Not all at once. Just one. The one that you are most prepared to look at.

    Know that you are strong. Know that you are well prepared to look at things that are not going to send you screaming into the night. You are a big person now. You are adult in your outlook and not fanciful and you can handle this. Allow the fear to surface from the quietude you have thrown yourself into.

    You float. You are not on edge. You are safe. You are embarking on an inward journey, a meditative way to look at something that is preventing you from achieving what it is that you want. Right now.


    Change is not difficult. Change happens all the time. The world is in flux. There is movement all around you. Your place in the universe is also changing, but have you ever once lost your way? Have you ever once not really known what to do? Even if you want advice from someone else and you ask it you make up your own mind of what to do. So, the fact that there are others in your life who have elected to upset the applecart, so to speak, is threatening to you. Why is this? That is the fear to go looking for.

    Now, that you have a focus in on what it is again relax and allow whatever it is in your unconscious that is demanding your attention to come forward.

    As a child moving so often. The compensations were that your family drew closer together. Except that was not really the case. Being entirely dysfunctional the drawing together of all of these fine people caused the children to fear. All of you. This results in a resistance to change. This results in the ways of staying the course even when that course no longer serves you.

    Have faith that all will be well. Look to the proverbial silver lining and know that your husband will find a better way for him to express himself with his writing. He will find a more appreciative audience and consequently will be happier. Be open to the idea that this particular change is good and that you need not spend as much time worrying about it as you have in the past few weeks. All will be well with it.

    Well, yikes. Pauline back again. I feel better.

    Do this for yourself. The part that the guides channeled for me? Maybe you’ll get one to do it for you, or just take over and do it yourself. You can. Have a nicer day.

    Friday, March 09, 2007

    The Spirit Moved Me

    I am totally amazed. When I got my own domain for this site in July, 2006 I didn’t have the foresight to do a redirect on the template or at least a notice that I’d moved the site on the last entry. So, there it languished. Like it had died in July, 2006. And, when people got to the site via the blogspot address from whatever searches they’d done on the search engines they didn’t go any farther. When I realized what I’d done I was dismayed and wrote in a panic to the Bloggers that Be. They ignored me for awhile and finally I got an answer to my third request that they were too busy rolling out the new Beta Blogger to bother with my problem.

    I got over it eventually and life went on.

    Until a few weeks ago when I wrote again. Persistence gets me places. Anyway, I got an email from Karl at Blogger tonight and he said the old site should be available to me again. Turns out the whole thing is fine. What I don’t know and this entry will be the key to discover if new entries are duplicated with the blogspot address too.

    So, and we’re back in business again.

    The Check is in the Mail

    Here’s a funny one. The other day I called a company up asking where our money was. They hadn’t paid for 3 invoices and, though we don’t do a huge amount of business with them they have been our customers for many years. So, I didn’t want to have “that tone” with them. It was just a friendly call to see if maybe somebody had been sick or the statement had gotten misplaced somewhere along the line and could I fax or send them another one. That’s all. The lady tells me, “The checks were written just yesterday.” I said to her, “If I’d drawn upon my awesome psychic abilities I would not have called you.” She laughed and I laughed. Right. So, why did I call her if the check had really just been written?

    If I take everything for truth and she wasn’t just saying the check had been written maybe calling her prevented that check from sitting on somebody’s desk for 2 weeks before it got mailed out. If I figure that everything we do has purpose maybe that was the purpose of the call. Or, maybe it was just that if they heard a friendly voice from our company that they might think twice about calling up the competition to do the job next time and call us instead?

    I don’t know why. But, somehow the whole thing didn’t feel like one of those random things that happen. It felt to me that the interaction I had held some sort of purpose.

    Thursday, March 08, 2007

    Anatomy of a Doll

    My husband gave me a gift certificate to Amazon for Christmas. I haven’t used it yet. But, I spend a lot of time buzzing around Amazon to select things and put them into my basket. One of the books that caught my eye recently was, " Anatomy of a Doll ” by Susanna Oroyan. I had a flash, though, to go look for the book at my library first. Lo and behold, there it was. I put a hold on the book (I’m doing all of this via the Internet) and yesterday, figuring 4 days was long enough to have gotten it to my branch, stopped by on my way home from work.

    Wow, but this is a wonderful book. I poured over it last night. Wonderful pictures of the most amazing dolls and simple directions to get there. Granted, the book is available from my library, but this is definitely a keeper. I’ll keep it in my basket at Amazon.

    Wednesday, March 07, 2007

    Opening to Spirit

    Here's an email I got today:

    The situation in my life is as follows. I am in a deep financial crisis. Each time something good happens to me 10 more things go wrong. I am a very spiritual person and have been trying to develop my own personal gifts by reading and meditation. I am finding it difficult to let go of the past so that I can grow into my own as I know I am meant to be. I feel an incredible power in my heart that wants to be born but I am not sure how to release it.

    My Answer:

    Open to Spirit from a place of peace. Any other road is going to be difficult and distorted. Which means you take care of your first problem first...the financial crisis. It's not that you have to be completely solvent before you can open to Spirit, it's just that when you try to pray and the spector of fear is riding your shoulder you just can't pay complete attention and give your heart over to the wonderful experience. You're too busy being afraid.

    Pick up a copy of, "Creating Money" by Sanaya Roman and Duane Packer. It will do 2 things at once for you. It will help you get on the road to solving your financial problems and at the same time show you a way to Spirit.

    Tuesday, March 06, 2007

    Holy Water

    Now I've heard everything. Brian Germann, a California businessman, has been selling bottles of water, "Holy Water" since June. Here's where you can read more.

    They did a close up of the bottle on the news this morning we were watching on television and there was a warning to sinners. Like my husband used to say to me when I was dawdling over my beer, "Sauf aus Frau!" That means, "Drink up woman!"

    Here's the Warning Label: "Warning to sinners: If you are a sinner or evil in nature, this product may cause burning, intense heat, sweating, skin irritations, rashes, itchiness, vomiting, bloodshot and watery eyes, pale skin color, and oral irritations."

    Thursday, March 01, 2007

    Shake, Rattle and Roll

    Well, that was a long one. It felt like 20 seconds worth of earthquake, though the news reports are saying 10 to 15 seconds. It was 8:40 pm and centered in Lafayette which is about a 30 minute ride from where we live. The cats scattered to the four winds, rushing past us looking terribly worried. The two parakeets in the kitchen set to flapping and squawking. DeeDude and I sat there looking at each other in disbelief that it wasn’t stopping sooner than it did. Big shake…rumble, rumble, rumble with the little shakes and then a big one again. After it was over the first thing I did was go put my robe and shoes on. I turned the furnace off and then, I brushed my teeth. Go figure why. I guess if I have flee madly into the night with all the neighbors I don’t want to offend anyone with bad breath.

    On a lighter note, before the earthquake happened we were watching a show called, “Meet the Ancestors” on the historical channel. They had found a number of skeletal remains, three of who appeared to be monks in a cathedral in the UK. They were digging them up. So, a voice in my head says, “If I knew they were going to do that I would have asked them to put me in the pasture.” I thought it was funny.