Drifting

I can’t tell the difference between a bad thing going to happen and something I’m afraid of happening. The check engine light came on yesterday. It was on all day. Or, at least when I drove the car to and from work. But, the odd psychic thing about it all is that two days prior to the light coming on I had the feeling that it was going to come on. I didn’t remark about it at the time because I’m always worried about one thing or the other. But, it happened. It’s not the first time. So, what do I have to do to get to where I “know” something is coming from a psychic knowingness and isn’t just me blathering about being worried about something.

Last weekend I woke up early. But, I lay there in bed thinking how nice it was not having to get up and I decided to just go back to sleep. Except, I wanted to savor the feeling and, so I began to drift slowly into sleep. Blammo…I’ve got no peripheral vision and I’m looking as if my hands were cupped around my eyes, like you do when you’re a kid and you make your hands into binoculars. And, I was looking at the tan inside of a van. The night before we’d been watching a show on Court TV that featured an armored car robbery. The guards were kidnapped. Both were killed. I think I was “seeing” the van they were in. I was so startled that I jerked myself out of it. If there’s something I do not want to see is somebody’s dying moments. I may have. I wasn’t frightened by it. Lots of things I don’t want. Higher self generally does not give a rat’s ass about what you want or don’t want. I guess I should be grateful that I wasn’t frightened.

When I began doing past life regressions most of what I was seeing involved death bed scenes. And, they weren’t always in a bed. One I recall was a body that swung around and around. I’d been hung. Another, via a Reiki healing, was me with head off about 15 feet to the right on a battlefield. Anyway, it was all pretty gruesome. It was getting to the point were I didn’t want to do past life regressions anymore. Seth said to me that there were a couple of things going on. He said I was “attracted” to what I feared. I was afraid of dying, hence I attracted scenes of death. Also, he said there is a great deal of energy associated with death and when somebody who is unaccustomed to doing this sort of thing is out there what they are going to pick up on first is the larger energy. Also, he said that there are moments of happiness in everyone’s lives. He said I should concentrate on that. Ask to see a happy moment of a prior lifetime. It worked. I remember once a sort of bittersweet vision. Suddenly, I’m up in the air flying and below me is a little boy of 10 years old or so. He’s got blond hair and he’s running with arms outstretched looking up at me. He is my son. I’ve just died. I thought the place I was in was Nebraska in the 1880’s. I can’t confirm any of that. I didn’t get any names. These were just feelings and what I experienced in a vision, in a past life regression. Once I remember a place in Egypt. There were lions wandering around this palatial place. There were lots of people. It was sort of subdued. It was sort of formal. It was just a glimpse. Another one was me as a little boy huddled on a stair. It was cold and it was in the Netherlands. I was hiding. “They” were after me and if they caught me they would put me on a ship and make me work. I didn’t want that to happen. I was hiding.